


A Vulnerable Time

by AK_Ruston



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Fix-it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:12:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AK_Ruston/pseuds/AK_Ruston
Summary: I’m floored by all the love! Thanks for lifting me up (at a vulnerable time) 💕 I’m convinced there are few more beautiful/impactful things than empowerment & encouragement from other women xx - Tessa Virtue





	1. A Night of Fun Can Change Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Hi? I'm back with another fix-it fic...this time with a slightly different spin to it.

 

**October 13, 2018**

**Prince George, British Columbia**

 

Tessa stared at her phone screen, the Twitter app open. She felt okay with the reply she was about to send. It showed a bit of her personal side, but didn’t reveal too much. She was sure some fans would try to read into what she meant, but it could be perceived in different ways and she _was_ co-producing a show with her best friend/ex-boyfriend-ish/twenty-one year skating partner and this had been a vulnerable time in a multitude of facets.

 

_I’m floored by all the love! Thanks for lifting me up (at a vulnerable time) 💕 I’m convinced there are few more beautiful/impactful things than empowerment & encouragement from other women xx_

 

**Two days earlier**

**Edmonton, Alberta**

 

“What’s all this?” Tessa asked Scott as she let herself into his room. He had been expecting her and left the door propped open with one of his shoes. They had to go over their talking points for the CTV interview the next morning and Scott had been at West Edmonton Mall all day helping Kaitlyn and Andrew practice, so this was being squeezed in after dinner and before bed.

 

“What?” he replied as he walked out of the bathroom.

 

“These bags. Did you buy out half the mall?” she joked as she playfully punched her fist into his arm. She was usually the shopper of the pair, not him.

 

“Oh, um,” Scott tried to stall off his response as he scratched his fingers through his hair and sighed before giving up. “I was going to tell you.”

 

“Tell me what?” she frowned.

 

“Jackie is going to meet me…the morning we arrive in Calgary.”

 

“Oh?” she replied, her eyebrows jumping up towards her hairline in surprise. _Where was this coming from?_

 

“Yeah. She’s…um, she’s arriving the night before and she’ll rent a car. We’re…going to drive out to Lake Louise for the day. She’s never been. She booked us a room at the Fairmont.”

 

Tessa was quiet for a moment as she took in what he said. _He is taking a sexcation with his new girlfriend. Alright then._ “So…what did you buy?” she asked, in a poor attempt at changing the subject. She thought maybe some new clothes for some of their upcoming interviews because he had been wearing a lot of their merch lately.

 

“Hiking boots, a warmer jack—” He stopped talking as he watched her body stiffen.

 

 _He was really only thinking about his girlfriend and what was within his five day forecast,_ Tessa thought to herself.

 

“Tess, I wasn’t really plan—”

 

“I know. It’s fine,” she lied.

 

“She arranged everything and it’s—”

 

“It’s fine, Scott. Just don’t break anything; we’re supposed to be on tour here. You kinda need to skate in your own show. Look, we need to go over the interview talking points and then I’d like to get to bed early.”

 

“T,” he pleaded, taking one of her hands in his. He hadn’t meant for it to go like this. Truthfully, he hadn’t really thought this part through. He knew she needed to know. He needed to tell her, he wanted to tell her. There just never really was a _right_ time.

 

“Let’s just keep this to business talk, okay?” she said, pulling on her media mask as she sat down on the desk chair, back straight, poised as ever.

 

Tessa had known about Jackie since she got home from her France trip, but she didn’t think the relationship would get as serious as quickly as it had. Jackie lived in another country and Scott was about to go on tour with Tessa and the rest of their friends for two months. And yet, here they were, creating unnecessary tension over his new girl friend. _That’s okay_ , she thought. _We skate better when our personal lives are fucked up anyways._

 

**October 31, 2018**

**Barrie, Ontario**

 

“Hey,” Scott called out softly as he pulled back the corner of the curtain surrounding her bunk.

 

“Hi,” she murmured without opening her eyes.

 

“Everyone missed you tonight, especially me,” he stroked one finger gently over her hand that was pressing on her forehead.

 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there,” she apologized, pulling her hand away so that he would stop touching her.

 

“Don’t worry about it T. Your health comes first. Is there anything I can do?” He was genuinely concerned. She had been getting these headaches more frequently as of late, tonight had been the worst.

 

“No, I’m sure I’ll live,” she sighed.

 

“ _Tess_ ,” he warned. He never liked her dramatic death talk and she knew it.

 

“I just need a good night sleep, okay Scott? Hopefully this is gone in a few hours because we have practice in the morning and the show must go on.”

 

Tessa knew why her migraines had increased in the last two weeks. Since she found out about Scott’s relationship becoming more serious, her stress levels were through the roof. She really hadn’t needed to be worried about her relationship with Scott and what he and Jackie were up to in the middle of their cross Canada tour.

 

Tessa and Scott had been civil with each other at the Great Kitchen Party event, but she had a bit too much to drink that night and then she raided the minibar in her hotel room afterwards and ended up nursing a hangover most of yesterday. She knew not eating and drinking enough water combined with the extra stress she was under would compound and sure enough, migraine on cue. She pushed through the show, but had vomited after the diamonds number and Scott insisted she lay down, knowing that’s what she needed most.

 

“Text me or yell if you need anything, okay? I’m just a few bunks away, Kiddo.”

 

She nodded and hummed a quiet response so he left her to sleep it off.

 

When she found herself vomiting in the bathroom a few hours later, he was there right away, holding back her hair and then tying it into a top knot for her so he could rub her back.

 

**November 5, 2018**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

“I invited Elvis along,” Tessa announced to Scott over breakfast as they ate together in her room.

 

“Where?” Scott asked, confused as to what she could be talking about.

 

“To the CTV takeover this morning,” she rushed out, avoiding eye contact with Scott.

 

“I thought _we_ were doing the takeover?” he said as he motioned his hand between them, now thoroughly confused.

 

“Yes, _we_ are, but I invited Elvis to join us. Just for CP24 and Your Morning. It will help deflect.”

 

Scott sat up straight, his body language becoming defensive. “Deflect what exactly?”

 

“Us,” she said matter-of-factly.

 

“I thought we were good?” he croaked, he had really thought things were better between them.

 

“Professionally, from a business perspective, we are good. Yes. Personally, we’ve been better,” she sighed with annoyance.

 

“Well, thanks for the last minute warning, otherwise I would have asked him what the hell he was doing when he gets into our car ten minutes from now.” To say Scott was pissed would be an understatement.

 

“Sorry, we talked about it last night but you were not around,” she shrugged.

 

That was true. He had been doing a video chat with Jackie in his room and had skipped out on the group dinner and drinks last night.

                         

**November 6, 2018**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

 **Scott MOir:** I can’t even go to a fucking Leafs game without being harassed T. Everyone wants to know where you are

 

 **Tessa:** Sorry? 🤷🏻♀️🙈😬

 

 **Scott MOir:** It would just be nice if I could live without being recognized and stopped for photos every 5 seconds

 

 **Tessa:** Well, it’s doubtful that will happen in Canada. You might have to move away 😜➡️🏃🏻

 

Scott texted Tessa in between his text messages to Jackie. He was hardly watching the game anyways, but the fan interruptions were annoying. Jackie was trying to discus travel options with him, wanting his opinion on hotels and flight schedules. He didn’t have too much to add, someone else had always taken care of those things for him.

 

**November 7, 2018**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

“Here,” Tessa said, shoving her phone into Scott’s hands. She had already downed two glasses of wine and they hadn’t even left the Casa Loma green room yet. She laid down on the sofa and struck a Victoria Beckham pose, with one leg in the air.

 

“Jesus, T!”

 

“Just take the picture, Scott. I want to post it as proof that I _can_ have a good time.”

 

“I know you can have a good time. You don’t have to post _that_ online, Tess.”

 

“I’m fun, right?” she asked as she hiccupped, the wine she had guzzled was making her feel fuzzy and carefree.

 

“Of course, T,” he insisted, not understanding what she was getting at, but snapped a few pictures anyways.

 

“We have fun together, right?” she whined as she sat up.

 

“Where is this insecurity coming from all of a sudden?”

 

Tessa only shrugged as she snatched back her phone and posted the photo on Instagram. She had overheard Scott talking on the phone about Jackie earlier in the day. How much _fun_ she was and how much _fun_ they were having together and how much _fun_ they would be having on their upcoming trips. Yes, Tessa had turned Scott away as her…whatever they were that spring. And yes, Scott had every right to move on and live his life. But Scott was still _her_ friend and partner and she missed hanging out with him they way they had before. She still wanted to be with him, just on her terms and not the way he had wanted, all official and publicly announced.

 

“Come back to my room,” she purred into his ear towards the end of the evening.

 

“ _Tess_ ,” he warned.

 

“Please? Just one last night of fun for old times sake,” she pleaded, putting air quotes around the word fun.

 

He should have said no. He wanted to, he had a girlfriend now, but he followed Tessa into her room anyways. He should have stopped her when she shoved him up against the hotel room wall and kissed him until he was breathless. He should have tried to stop her when she moved them to the bed. He should have done a lot of things that night, but he didn’t.

 

**December 6, 2018**

**Vancouver, British Columbia**

 

“I’m going to need a break between the talk and the meet and greet tonight,” Tessa told Cammy before they went out for their Q&A session.

 

Scott overheard and looked over at Tessa, but she avoided eye contact. He walked a few steps away, wondering why she would need a break. He kept his distance until he saw Tessa waving him over.

 

“Everything okay?” he whispered in her ear.

 

“Of course,” she insisted, seemingly offended that he was even asking.

 

“What’s with the break?”

 

“The staff need to remove the chairs from the stage and set things up for photos and I’m taking a break while they are doing that."

 

“Do you feel okay?”

 

Tessa nodded. “I’m just fine.”

 

Scott didn’t believe her, but they were led towards the stage area that had been set up for their interview with Cammy, so he let it go. She disappeared after the half hour on stage and Scott didn’t see her again until she returned to join him on the stage for photos with fans.

 

Afterwards he asked her again. “Everything alright, T?”

 

“Never better!” she gritted through an over-emphasized smile.

 

**January 14, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

She hadn’t seen him since the Visa event in Toronto on December 7th. She knew he had been home for Christmas and for his mom’s birthday. They had texted a few times, mostly pleasantries and wishing each other a Merry Christmas and email reminders of their separate travel schedules. Tessa had sent her regards with her mom to the birthday party, she was feeling under the weather and didn’t want to make everyone else sick.

 

They always took time apart from each other after Olympic cycles; she tried to tell herself this break was normal. He had told her he was taking a break from everything. He was tired and needed to regroup, and he wanted to spend time with Jackie.

 

Tessa had agreed with what he said, she knew he was tired emotionally and physically and needed to recharge. She knew he also needed time away from her. Their personal relationship was strained, but it had been before and they always found their way back together. They always had skating as their common ground, their safe space. Except this time they didn’t. There would be no official skating together until September. Tessa had decided against the Asian tours. She told Scott she had other projects going on that conflicted on dates, which was mostly true. Not the whole truth, but enough to appease him. They also had the two Great Kitchen Party trips that conflicted with some of the skating shows, and their own fall tour. If people want to see us, they can come to our tour, Tessa had insisted. Scott agreed and said he was fine with the break; he was going to spend most of the winter months where it was warmer anyways.

 

“How was the Big Apple, Kiddo?” Scott said as he hugged Tessa the morning of their photoshoot.

 

“Great! I’m excited about what we’re working on and it’s with a lovely group of women!”

 

Scott saw through her extra bubbly attitude, but didn’t let on. Maybe she was nervous about spending time with him today. He could sense an energy about her, but couldn’t put his finger on it. There was something off with her behaviour, and he didn’t think she was just being aloof because his relationship with Jackie was now more serious than it had been a month ago.

 

“How was Florida? How’s Jackie?” she asked but she didn’t wait for a reply as she was called over for hair and make up.

 

Scott stuck mostly to himself and Cara for the rest of the shoot, except when he was required to pose with Tessa. He was deep in thought, trying to figure out what was up with his long-time friend.

 

“You seem like you want to say something?” Scott said under his breath as they smiled for the last pictures in their jerseys.

 

“Not here,” she replied without moving her lips, keeping her radiant smile on her face the entire time.

 

They ended up not having time to discuss what she didn’t really want to broach anyways. The shoot wrapped and Kate was quick to move Tessa towards the door.

 

“Don’t be a stranger,” Tessa said into Scott’s ear as they hugged goodbye before she left.

 

Scott was heading out to Whistler for a little snowboarding trip with Jackie and Tessa had a list of upcoming projects longer than her arm. She wasn’t sure when she would see him next. She figured she would tell him then.

 

**January 23, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

“You need to tell him, sweetheart,” Kate insisted as she sat on her bed in their hotel room.

 

“Oh I told him,” Tessa muttered as she worked on sending out an email to Fit Spirit. Kate had just recorded a video of Tessa in their hotel, her official announcement that she was joining them as their mentor for the year.

 

“And what was his reaction?” she asked, surprised that Tessa was so nonchalant about it and that Alma hadn’t contacted her yet.

 

“He was happy for me,” she shrugged as she hit send on the email.

 

“And?”

 

Tessa shrugged again, not really understanding what her mom was getting at. “And…he said to say hi to Sophie?”

 

Kate gave Tessa a disapproving look. “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it, Tessa.”

 

Tessa put down her phone and looked over at her mom. She shook her head. She wasn’t ready to open that can of worms.

 

“He needs to know, Tess.”

 

“Does he though?” she huffed. “I mean, it’s not like _he’s_ been overly forthcoming with information these past few months.”

 

“You should be the bigger person, dear.”

 

“Well I will be right away,” she barked and then marched off to the bathroom to remove her make-up.

 

“And all the more reason he should hear it from you and not from someone else, or worse, social media,” Kate sighed. She could appreciate why Tessa didn’t want to discuss this with Scott, but prolonging it was only going to make things more difficult in the long run.

 

Tessa pressed her fingers against her eyes, willing her slight headache to back off. “Fine. No point ruining his trip though. I’ll see if we can meet up when he’s back from Down Under. What is that…Up Over?” Tessa laughed at her joke. She knew Scott would have found it hilarious. Kate only offered a sympathetic smile.

 

 


	2. Life Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa tells Scott her important news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reader asked so nicely for the next chapter...so everyone wins! :)

 

 

**March 1, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

 **Tessa:** Hey stranger! 🙋🏻 👋🏼Next time you’re home, give me a shout. I have some tour prep things to talk about 🗣🗣🗣

 

 **Scott MOir:** I am home

 

 **Tessa:** Thanks for telling me? 😣😥

 

 **Scott MOir:** Sorry it was quick trip back

 

 **Tessa:** Do you have time in the next day or so?🕰⏱⏰

 

Tessa looked down at her little belly. It was certainly more obvious when she was sitting and it had recently become something she could no longer physically ignore, aside from continuing to wear looser-fitting clothes. Thankfully it was still cool enough outside to do that, but she really needed to tell Scott. She knew she was being unfair to him, _if_ he even wanted to be a part of this.

 

 **Scott MOir:** I’m actually flying out this aft, sorry T. I can stop by on my way to the airport?

 

“Shit,” Tessa swore out loud to herself. Tears filled her eyes as she questioned her decision to tell him now. He was clearly busy with his new life and had moved on from her and them. Truthfully, they didn’t have much to discuss regarding the tour until later in the year. She sighed and then texted him back, leaving the decision up to him.

 

 **Tessa:** Yeah, okay. Give yourself an hour, if you have it 😬

 

“So? What was so urgent to discuss in person?” Scott asked as he stepped inside her house. He looked her up and down. She was radiant and glowing, even in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings with no make-up on. His favourite look, if he was being honest.

 

“Hello to you too,” she snarked with one hand on her hip and her head cocked to the side.

 

“Sorry. Hi Virtch,” Scott leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he toed off his shoes.

 

“How was your big trip? Did you get to box with any kangaroos?” Tessa teased as she walked back into the kitchen.

 

Scott followed behind and started rambling off the highlights of his trip that Tessa wasn’t listening to. She had stage fright all of a sudden and didn’t know if she could go through with telling him. This would forever change everything between them. Her breathing became faster and she was feeling lightheaded.

 

“T, are you listening to me? Are you okay?”

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t really listening,” she admitted, shaking her head. _No, she wasn’t okay._

 

Before she could say anything more, Scott was wrapping his arms around her tightly, pulling her in for one of their signature hugs. He still knew when she needed calming down. He immediately realized she felt different in his arms. Her sweatshirt was extra bulky between them. He pulled her body closer to his. _Nope, that’s not the sweatshirt,_ he thought.

 

“Tess, have you been forgetting to go to the gym in the past few months?” he whispered in her ear, knowing she was going to punch him or throw back some kind of well-deserved insult. But he was _sure_ that she had put on weight, her body wasn’t fitting right against his.

 

“No, I’ve been going,” she replied calmly.

 

Scott pulled away from Tessa and held her at arms length, his fingers wrapped around her biceps. He stared into her eyes, searching silently for an answer.

 

 _God, he’s so dense_ , Tessa thought. She took a step back from him and pulled off her sweatshirt, revealing an Adidas sports bra underneath. In the middle of her once well-defined abs was a rounded bump. It was still small, but very obvious nonetheless.

 

Scott’s eyes were immediately drawn to her enlarged breasts and then lower to her belly and then back up to her green eyes. He repeated this pattern three times before Tessa gave up waiting for him to say something. _Had he lost brain cells from all the sun?_

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

Scott continued to stare at Tessa for a moment before finding his voice. “Wow. Okay,” he finally got out, pointing a finger at her belly as he slowly knit together the pieces of the puzzle that he had been pondering over the last few months. “So…does this mean the tour is off?”

 

“No. The baby is due at the end of July. That’s plenty of time for me to get back in shape before the tour.”

 

“So, do I know the lucky father?” he asked, wrinkling his nose in slight disgust. He felt angry all of a sudden, she hadn’t wanted that with him but she sure found someone else to knock her up quick.

 

“You absolutely do,” she said with a look that meant she was being serious and he had better get his fucking head out of his ass.

 

“Well, are you going to tell me? Or is it a secret?”

 

Tessa sighed loudly. She would _have_ to spell it out for him. “It’s been a secret until now. It’s yours.”

 

“ _Mine?!”_ he squawked in disbelief. “Why the hell should I believe you that it’s mine? I _know_ that I have not been the only guy you’ve been with.”

 

“Believe it or not, I do keep track of these things. I can tell you exactly when it happened and you _were_ the only guy at that time. So it’s yours. Ball is in your court, Scott. You can choose to be a part of our child’s life, or not. I really don’t care at this point, but I’m keeping the baby.”

 

Scott backed away from Tessa, her words ringing loudly in his head. He needed time to think this through. This changes _everything_. Between them. And for him. And for him and Jackie. Shit. _Jackie_. And here he had been worried about accidently getting _her_ pregnant. Not Tessa. _Shit_.

 

Tessa could tell by the deer-in-the-headlights look on Scott’s face that he would need some time to come around to this. It had taken her three weeks to accept that it was really happening. She figured he should be allowed some time to process this in his own way.

 

“I—,” he started and then stopped. He rubbed his hand repeatedly on the back of his neck and through his short hair to the point that Tessa wanted to reach out and still his movements before he rubbed the skin raw.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, looking him square in the eye. “I didn’t know how to tell you earlier. I know I should have.”

 

“No, it’s fine. It’s okay,” Scott offered as he backed up further, inching his way towards the door. He needed to leave. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He was supposed to be flying back to Florida today. Back to his _girlfriend_.

 

“You have a plane to catch,” she offered him the out he wanted. “You should get going.”

 

“Tess,” he started but didn’t know what else to say. She literally just dropped a bomb on his world.

 

“I have the anatomy scan ultrasound on March 15th,” she offered. She hoped two weeks would be enough time for him to decide if he wanted to be there for that.

 

“This is just—”

 

“A lot? I know. I’m sorry,” she apologized again.

 

“I have to go,” Scott said quietly as he pulled his shoes on without opening the laces.

 

“I know,” she said softly as she held the door open for him. She hoped she wasn’t permanently saying goodbye to him. She hoped he would come around to the idea eventually. She did want their baby to at least know his or her father. She swallowed thickly and then cleared her throat as he stood in the doorway, clenching and unclenching his fists.

 

“I can tell Alma and Joe, if you want me to,” she offered. They were next on her list because despite everything, she did still see them on occasion. Kate had also mentioned that Alma had noticed Tessa hadn’t been herself lately and had asked if she was handling Scott’s new relationship okay.

 

“Shit,” he said as he scrubbed his hands over his face. His parents had already been pissed at him when they found out Jackie was technically still married. They had insisted Jackie take care of finalizing the divorce right away. Her court date was in five days. _What timing. Now he had to somehow tell them that he got Tessa pregnant?_

 

“No,” he insisted. “I should be the one to do it, or at least be there with you. Who…um, who all knows?”

 

“My family and Kelly and I’m pretty sure a few people I’ve worked with suspect something. Sophie guessed right away, so I did have to tell her. I’m sorry you weren’t first on the list. It’s just we weren’t really—”

 

“I still can’t believe that you just hang out with Sophie Trudeau now. I’m proud of you, T,” Scott cut her off, hoping to mend part of their broken relationship.

 

Tessa ignored him and crossed her arms in front of her chest, unintentionally making her breasts look larger than they had become from the pregnancy. That caught Scott’s attention immediately, his eyes fixated there. He had always appreciated her athletic body, and had loved her just the way she was. Post-retirement boobs on Tessa had been a nice bonus but pregnancy boobs? He was lost in boob thought when he heard his name.

 

“Scott!” she snarled.

 

His head snapped back up immediately, catching her disapproving glare. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I need to figure this all out first. Can we wait to tell them? Jackie’s court date is next week and I—”

 

“Of course,” she sighed. “Do what you need to do. Obviously I can’t wait forever to tell them. They should hear it from one of us and not as rink gossip.”

 

Scott sighed. He knew all too well about rink gossip and his mom probably had already heard rumours about Tessa.

 

**March 12, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott banged his fist again on Tessa’s backdoor. He saw her car parked outside and was starting to worry as to why she wasn’t answering his knocking or picking up his calls. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed Kate’s number. Maybe she would talk to him.

 

“Hi Scott,” she answered on the second ring.

 

“Hey Kate, I, um, I was wondering if you knew where Tessa was? I can’t seem to reach her?”

 

“Of course, we’re in Toronto for a project she’s working on,” she answered calmly.

 

“Fuck,” Scott swore under his breath. Of course she would be away when he got back to London. He knew he should have told her that he would be flying home, but he didn’t really know himself until yesterday when he smoothed things over with Jackie. She had been livid at first, but after several days he had gotten her to calm down. They were still together, for now, but he knew things were on shaky ground.

 

“When will she be back?” he asked, trying to make his voice not sound as panicked as he felt. _She had told me the ultrasound was the 15 th, right?_

 

“Late Thursday night. Did you want to see her?” Kate prodded, knowing full well that was exactly why Scott was calling.

 

“Yes! I mean, I do, if that’s what she wants,” Scott answered as he paced up and down Tessa’s driveway.

 

“I can let her know you called, she’s busy right now.”

 

“Thanks, Kate. Um, so Tess had mentioned something about an ultrasound?”

 

“Yes. That’s on Friday.” When Scott didn’t respond, she offered what she assumed he was waiting for. “Had you wanted to go with?”

 

“Yeah, I mean, I probably should, I guess?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! Will he go? Or will he back out?


	3. The Ultrasound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa has her 20-week ultrasound and finds out the sex of the baby. Will Scott be able to calm his nerves enough to get out of his truck and join her at the appointment?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a tiny bit shorter because Chapter 4 is longer and if I combined them...it would have been too much all at once.

 

 

**March 15, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott sat in his truck in the parking lot of the My Health Centre. He was so nervous that his hands were sweating and he continuously had to wipe them on his pants to dry them off. He arrived far too early for the appointment; Tessa and Kate were not even there yet. He sat in silence for nearly fifteen minutes, bouncing his knee up and down, before Kate’s car pulled up beside him.

 

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves before getting out of his truck. He rushed around to Tessa’s door to help her out, but she was already slamming it shut by the time he got there. He tried to say something but she was walking quickly towards the building. He felt a hand on his arm and he turned to look at Kate.

 

“She’s antsy, give her some space,” she said gently.

 

“Why? What’s wrong?” Scott asked as a wave of panic and concern flooded him.

 

“She didn’t sleep well last night and now she has a very full bladder for the ultrasound. She’s also nervous about the scan, it…they check to make sure everything is... _okay_ with the baby. That it’s growing properly, that sort of thing. You know how Tessa can get,” Kate admitted to Scott.

 

“Oh,” Scott nodded. _Of course he knew_. Tessa was probably fretting all last night and that’s why she didn’t sleep. If anything were wrong with her, _their?_ , baby, she would blame it all on herself. She would see herself as the failure. _Fuck_. Scott ran up ahead and held the door to the building open for Tessa.

 

Scott watched as Tessa squirmed in her seat, he felt bad that she was uncomfortable and going through this without his complete support. He just wasn’t fully convinced yet that the baby could be his. He also didn’t understand how exactly she got pregnant in the first place. They really needed to sit down and have a proper conversation, but he knew this wasn’t the time or place.

 

“Tessa?” the receptionist called out into the waiting room. Tessa got up and walked towards her, Scott started to get up to follow but Kate put her hand on his arm.

 

“We wait here, she needs to change first. Don’t worry, we’ll be called in shortly.”

 

Scott slumped back into his chair. He was glad Kate was there; otherwise he would likely be bouncing all over the room with nervousness. A few minutes later they were called back, just as Kate had said. Kate and Scott sat down on the two plastic chairs in the room while Tessa, dressed in a blue cotton gown, sat on the bed. While they waited for the technician to arrive, Scott brought up one of his questions. He wanted to get it out in the open now, in case they had to do something specific during the scan to answer what he wanted to know.

 

“So, can they tell who the father is on this ultrasound?”

 

Tessa whipped her head over to glare at Scott and he immediately wished he hadn’t just asked that question.

 

“You _cannot_ be serious,” she sighed. “No, they can’t and I told you it was yours.”

 

“Jackie said that I need proof. That maybe you are—”

 

“Stop. Please, Scott. Not here.”

 

Their conversation was halted as the technician entered the room. She began a conversation with Tessa, asking her pregnancy history and obtaining dates. She ignored Scott, so she either didn’t know who _they_ were, or she was being discrete. Regardless, Scott was pleased about that. The last thing they needed was _this_ making the local social media outlets ahead of schedule. He mentally added that to his list of things to discuss with Tessa later.

 

After the baby’s measurements were taken, Tessa was allowed to leave the room to empty her bladder. She returned in a much better mood. She hopped back up onto the bed and the ultrasound technician turned the monitor towards them.

 

“Okay, time for you to meet your baby. It has been fairly active, did you want to know the sex?” the technician asked Tessa directly, never making eye contact with Scott.

 

Tessa looked at Scott, her eyes sending a message that he couldn’t quite pick up on. “Yes, I want to know,” Tessa insisted, her steely gaze still fixed on Scott.

 

 _Oh._ He realized she was giving him a choice. He could leave the room if he didn’t want to know. It didn’t matter to him if they found out now or later. He nodded at Tessa that he was okay with her decision.

 

“ _We_ want to know,” she corrected herself as she looked back towards the screen. She felt Scott’s hand wrap around hers, giving it a squeeze. Her first instinct was to pull away, and she started to, but conceded and allowed it to be what it was.

 

“Okay, hopefully baby cooperates and I can show you. The measurements are putting baby about a week smaller than your dates, but that’s within the normal range so nothing to worry about there. Here you can see the side profile, baby’s nose and lips, and here’s a hand,” she continued to point out various parts of the baby on the grainy black and white image on the screen.

 

Scott heard Tessa gasp and sigh softly. He could tell she was in love with the baby already. He knew she had always wanted children, but this timing was definitely not in her very calculated and well-thought-out plans. He watched the technician reposition the wand on Tessa’s belly, blue gel squishing over her skin, and then a tiny little foot appeared on the screen. Scott grinned at the thought of one day buying tiny skates to fit that very foot. He felt tears running down his cheeks, but he didn’t care. If that _is_ his baby he would love it with all of his heart, and if by some chance it wasn’t his, he would love it just the same.

 

“Oh! Baby’s giving us a show! So, if you look right here,” the technician pointed at the screen, “you can see three lines. It’s a girl!”

 

Tessa gasped and put one hand over her mouth in a poor attempt to suppress her sobs. “A girl!” she whispered, a smile on her face and tears running down her cheeks.

 

“I’m going to print off some pictures for you, you can go ahead and get changed, I’ll bring them out to the waiting room for you.” With that the technician left the room.

 

Scott couldn’t pull his eyes away from the now black monitor where he had seen Tessa’s daughter for the first time, even though the image was gone. “Are you okay?” he heard Tessa ask as she sat up and realized that he was in some sort of trance.

 

He nodded and then pulled his eyes away from the monitor to look at Tessa. “Could I…would it be okay if I—”

 

“Have a copy of the photos?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Of course,” she smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder as she got off the bed. She left the room to change, and Scott felt Kate’s hand on his back, leading him out of the room.

 

“Makes it feel more real, doesn’t it?” Kate asked gently as she guided Scott back down the long hallway to the waiting room.

 

“Yeah,” he breathed out slowly. He felt as if everything was moving in slow motion as he wrapped his brain around what he had just witnessed in the room. _There really is a baby inside Tessa. That really could be my child._ She was going to be a mother and he was maybe going to be a father. He had dreamt of this happening; he wanted Tessa to have his children, _but not like this_. He had wanted them to be together, a couple, and to have children together when the timing was right. He had wanted to be there from day one. He had wanted them to find out together and take every step together. But now? They weren’t even living in the same country, never mind the same house. When was he going to see this little girl if he was living thousands of kilometres away from her? He _needed_ to talk to Tessa.

 

“Just wait until you feel the baby moving.”

 

Scott whipped his head over to look at Kate. “It’s moving already? I mean, to feel it from the outside?” He thought that wouldn’t be until much later, although he really didn’t know a whole lot about pregnancy. He had been away in Canton through the bulk of his sister-in-laws’ pregnancies. Truthfully, he had missed a lot of real life experiences while skating with Tessa. He supposed this was all very unfamiliar territory for her as well.

 

Kate nodded. “I felt it yesterday on the train ride home. Tessa says that the baby is on the go constantly. It reminds me of someone else I know,” she said, glancing at Scott with one eyebrow raised, the same way Tessa often looked at him.

 

As they walked out to their vehicles, Scott asked if he could have some time to talk to Tessa in the next few days. She agreed and told him to bring dinner over later that night and they could talk.

 

Scott was an impatient wreck all afternoon. He stopped by the rink to visit with his mom and when she had to get back to work he made a video call to Jackie from the arena. She really had no interest in listening to Scott ramble on about the ultrasound so she cut him off and started talking about taking another trip to Thailand before he goes on tour in the fall and asked him about dates.

 

“I don’t know yet about dates, Jax. I need to figure out what’s going on with the baby first.”

 

“You still have no proof it’s yours, Scott. Don’t fall for her trap. She’s just trying to get you back. We’re happy and you don’t _need_ to be there for Tessa. She’s done just fine without you so far,” Jackie grumbled.

 

“Regardless if the baby is mine or not, she’s my friend and I should be supportive in that way at least. Look, I know I can’t be in two places at once, but you’re on night shifts this week so me being in Florida isn’t really beneficial anyways. I’ll be back on Monday. We can talk about Thailand then, okay?”

 

Jackie huffed in a disapproving tone. “Fine. Bring me back some Ketchup chips though. Four bags this time.”

 

“Sure. Anything else?”

 

“I’ll text you if I think of something. I gotta go. Talk later?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Scott looked at the time before shoving his phone back into his pocket. Tessa had told him he could come over any time after 5:30pm, so he still had an hour to kill. He laid down on the bench outside the rink that he had been sitting on. “How did my life get so fucked up?” he moaned as he stared up at the ceiling.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I just can't deal with imagining that tiny foot on the screen! So cute! Right?
> 
> Next chapter: Scott and Tessa have a very important discussion over dinner


	4. Questions and Clarifications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott sit down for the long-awaited conversation.  
> Alma and Joe are surprised by the announcement.

 

 

**March 15, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

“Oh my God, you brought so much food!” Tessa exclaimed as she helped Scott unpack the take-out bags later that evening.

 

“Well, I didn’t know what you wanted to eat, so I just ordered a few things,” he grinned, knowing full well that he had gone overboard but he made sure to include all of her favourites.

 

“There’s nearly enough to feed a whole hockey team, Scott!” she shook her head as she took out two dinner plates from the cupboard.

 

“You exaggerate, Kiddo. It’s not _that_ much, plus you are eating for two now.”

 

“No,” Tessa laughed. “I’m only supposed to take in an extra 300 calories or so. Not 2000 extra. But don’t worry though, it’s fine,” she grinned as she generously filled her plate.

 

Scott breathed out a sigh of relief at her laughter. _She wasn’t upset_. “Oh, okay. Well I guess you won’t have to cook for a few days then, eh?” Scott smiled as he bumped his shoulder against hers and felt the tension leave the room. This was the first time he had actually felt at ease around Tessa in months.

 

“I appreciate you bringing food, Scott, regardless of the amount. I’m still working on improving my culinary talents and not having to think about cooking for the next day or so is a wonderful treat.” Tessa pressed a quick kiss to Scott’s cheek out of habit, blushing slightly when she realized what she had done. “Come,” she motioned with her head towards the family room.

 

They carried their full plates to the family room and ate in silence on the sofa until Scott just couldn’t wait any longer. He really felt like he was going crazy with all the questions he had for Tessa. He needed some clarity regarding everything from the last two weeks, the last several months, really.

 

“So, I have some things I wanted to ask you about the pregnancy…if that’s okay?”

 

Tessa waved her hand in front of her mouth while she finished chewing. “Of course. What do you want to know first?”

 

Scott took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “When did you find out?”

 

Tessa pushed her food around on her plate with her fork. She knew he was going to ask this question and she knew he was going to get mad. She sighed and closed her eyes. “I knew I was late the weekend of the Special Olympics and Walk of Fame, but I was scared to take a test to find out. I had it confirmed by my doctor just before we flew out to BC for the Salvation Army and Chapters events.”

 

Tessa heard Scott’s plate clatter on the glass coffee table as he took in a sharp breath, causing her eyes to fly open. He jumped to his feet and started pacing back and forth, raking his fingers through his hair. “Geez, Tessa! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me then?!” We were together so much! _Shit_.” He scrubbed both hands over his face and tried to hide the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. Things were a little strained between us already and it was so early still, I thought…if something happened _naturally_ …then there would be no reason to have involved you and worry you over nothing.”

 

“God, Tessa. You should have told me. I could have—”

 

“You could have what? What’s done is done. There really is nothing I need you to do right now. I’m doing everything by myself here,” she said as she patted one hand on her little belly.

 

“That’s not what I meant, T,” he grumbled as he let his body slump back onto the sofa. He was no longer in a mood to eat and he angrily shoved his plate further across the coffee table.

 

“Well, what did you mean then?” she huffed, as she began to get impatient that he was having trouble finding the words to properly express himself.

 

“I could have been supportive, I guess. Been nicer to you? Brought you food if you were craving something?” he offered. “I don’t know. I thought we told each other important things. Something like that _is_ important.” He felt horrible that he didn’t catch on to what was going on with her that weekend. He had been so focused on Jackie and the negative attention that was swirling surrounding her attendance to those three high-profile events and the fans being upset that he was dating someone other than Tessa.

 

“I was too nauseous to eat most of the time. Trust me, I didn’t _need_ anything,” she insisted as she shoved a fork full of food into her mouth. She was glad her appetite was back to normal again.

 

“Is that why you had a break in Vancouver during the Chapters thing?” He thought back to that event and how she had been doing a lot of deep breathing before they went on stage, but he thought at the time that it was just nerves.

 

She nodded. “I just needed a fresh air break to collect myself and to use the washroom.”

 

“Have you been sick much?”

 

“No, it wasn’t too bad. The nausea has been gone for a few weeks now,” she admitted as she put her empty plate on the table next to Scott’s nearly full one.

 

Scott hummed in response as he shifted on the sofa so he was facing Tessa more. He had to ask the important question, one that was really nagging at him the last two weeks. He picked at his cuticle and avoided making eye contact with her. “So, how exactly did this happen? I thought you were on birth control?”

 

“I was. In the summer I switched back to the pill, and you know those migraines I kept having on tour? Well, the migraines caused vomiting and…I guess I was vomiting up some of the pills, which makes it less effective for that cycle. We had that one night together after the Air Canada ev—”

 

“Shit. Did we not use a condom?” he asked as his face blanched. He looked at her with wide eyes. They had always doubled up on their contraceptives. _Always_.

 

“I don’t think so. That’s the only thing I’m not fully clear on, I had a lot to drink that night. But I swear to God there was no one before in that cycle and we had sex on day twelve. There was no one right after that either. I have always kept track of everything, Scott. This is very black and white.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Scott whispered as he tugged on his ear.

 

Tessa shook her head. “Please stop apologizing. What’s done is done. We need to accept it and move forward.” Tessa pulled the elastic out of her ponytail and fluffed up her hair with her fingers before retying it up into a top knot. Scott was in a trance watching her fingers flit quickly over and around and through her hair. He had truly missed witnessing these little mundane Tessa-isms.

 

“Anything else?” she asked, noticing him staring at her and feeling a bit self-conscious that he was acting so… _off_. Their time spent apart was very evident.

 

“Um, so, are you going to post an announcement online or something?”

 

“I probably have to. Sometime between now and Mallorca, I suppose.  I can discuss the wording with you ahead of time, if you want?”

 

“Thank you, I do want to know what you are going to say before the public does,” he nodded. “So…I guess…what do you want from me?”

 

Tessa sighed. “I _want_ you to be a father figure in our daughter’s life, Scott,” she said as her eyes filled with tears. “Our daughter,” she laughed and shook her head. “That will take some time to sound normal.”

 

“Do you want money?”

 

“What?” she gasped and shook her head in disbelief as she wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands.

 

“I mean, if I’m the father, should I give you financial support for her?”

 

“Oh for God’s sake, Scott. I’m working and make more than enough to support a child. I don’t need your handouts. Keep your money; you’re not working right now anyways. Plus we have the tour this fall that should bring in enough to float me while I take some time off afterwards.”

 

“Sorry. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean to insult you.” He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands _. Idiot! Of course she doesn’t need my money._

 

Tessa could tell she had come on a little too strong. “Scott…I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been so defensive. I know you’re just trying to be helpful and this can’t be easy on you either. This is uncharted territory for both of us, so how about we just see how things go, okay? If you want to buy her something, I won’t refuse it. Just please don’t buy her a pony…I don’t want to be hiring Tony to build a barn in the backyard to store it.”

 

Scott laughed and relaxed a bit. “Okay. No ponies.” How do you want me in your life though, T? I mean, do you want me here in London during the pregnancy? I can stay…just say the word. Whatever you need, I’ll do it.”

 

Tessa took in a deep breath. She wasn’t expecting _that_ sort of offer. “What about Jackie?”

 

“I still love you T, and you’ll always come first if you need me. If you still don’t want to have a committed romantic relationship with me, I will respect your decision, but please let me offer you my emotional support as a friend for the remainder of the pregnancy at the very least.”

 

“I would…I _would_ like for you to be around more often than you have been lately. I’ve missed hanging out with you, _as friends_ , but I don’t think you should throw away whatever you and Jackie have going on just because I’m pregnant. I’ll be fine on my own.”

 

“I don’t know if what we have is worth keeping, if I’m being honest. Our big trip showed some of her true colours and she does get on my nerves more than she probably should. We’ve also been arguing about her not wanting to go to counselling with me, and that was before you even told me about…” he gestured towards Tessa.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. I thought you two were doing well.”

 

Scott shrugged. While they were on the topic, he felt bold enough to ask her what her current situation was, if there were any other guys he needed to be aware of or avoid if he was going to be hanging out around her more often. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

 

Tessa laughed. “I have not had time or felt well enough or had the energy for that in the last few months. So, no. Besides, my belly now sends out red flags to any guy within a kilometre. They see the bump and keep on walking.”

 

“Virtch, you know that’s not true. Being pregnant shouldn’t scare off men. You’re intelligent and talented, and let’s not forget that you’re gorgeous.”

 

Tessa blushed and shook her head. “Well, I’m not really looking right now. She comes first,” Tessa said softly as she rubbed her hand on her belly.

 

“Are you still skating?” he asked, changing the subject as he realized that she was feeling a bit self-conscious from his compliments.

 

“I’m probably coming towards the end of being able to skate, but I have gone occasionally in the past few months. Once my balance is off, it won’t be that safe and I wouldn’t want to put her in any danger, especially being alone on the ice.”

 

Scott’s heart felt crushed. She had been skating alone and he had refused to skate with Jackie, so he hadn’t been at all. He had never wanted their skating partnership to end like this. “T, would you skate with me tonight? For old times sake? Or if you’re too tired, another day before I go back? You know I wouldn’t let you fall,” he smiled hopefully at her.

 

Tessa smiled back at Scott. “Of course, I’d love to! I napped all afternoon, so I feel fine. Do you want to go now?” It had been so long since they had been skating together. Tessa’s body was already buzzing with the anticipation of being back with Scott on the ice.

 

“We can take the blocked private skate time after 9pm tonight, I already checked with mom. Maybe we should go tell them first though? About the baby, I mean.”

 

“Good idea, we can—” Tessa stopped talking and put her hand quickly on her belly.

 

“Everything okay, T?” Scott leapt to his feet; concerned that something was wrong with the baby.

 

“Yeah, don’t worry. Come here,” she whispered.

 

Scott sat down beside Tessa. She grabbed his hand and began pressing his palm on her belly. She moved it a few times and then stopped and held her hand over his.

 

“Do you feel that, Scott? Like little pops or bubbles, it’s—”

 

“Yeah!” he grinned as tears filled his eyes. “Tess! It’s like she’s dancing!”

 

“Mmm, she loves doing that on my bladder,” Tessa laughed softly.

 

“Wow, this is amazing. I can’t believe there is a baby in there…wait. Where did she go?”

 

“She’s still little, so she has lots of space to move around. It’s hard to catch her rocking out to Hall & Oates.”

 

“ _Tessa_.”

 

“She’ll be born loving _good_ music, you’ll see,” Tessa smirked at Scott.

 

*

 

"Mom? Dad? I'm back," Scott called out as he let himself into their house. He had been staying with them during his quick trips back to Ilderton. His house was still without electricity, furniture, and appliances, rendering it nearly useless for the time being.

 

"In here, Scottie," Alma called back from the living room. Scott heard his Dad laugh and the familiar voices from the television and he knew they were catching up on recorded episodes Schitt’s Creek.

 

"I thought you were going skating, dear?” Alma asked as she turned around to look at Scott and then realized that Tessa was standing next to him. “Oh! Tess!" Alma jumped out of her chair as Joe pressed pause on the PVR. She ran over to Tessa and threw her arms around her. Scott watched as Tessa kept a comfortable distance between her body and Alma's. Certainly not the way Tessa usually gave hugs.

 

"It's so good to see you, my girl. What brings you out all this way?” Alma rubbed her hands up and down Tessa’s back, she always had thought of her like the daughter she never had.

 

“Scott and I were going to skate at the rink. Is after 9pm still okay?” Tessa asked hesitantly, never one to assume she should be given any rink privileges, even though Alma and Carol had said repeatedly that it was never a problem and she was always welcome on home ice.

 

Alma pulled back and held Tessa at arms length. “Yes!” she nodded fervently. “Of course! Well it was certainly nice you stopped in here to say hi first. We haven't seen much of either of you lately. Will you stay for some tea?" Alma looked hopefully between Tessa and Scott.

 

“That would be lovely. Thank you, Alma,” Tessa smiled at Alma and then looked over at Joe who was grinning from ear to ear.

 

Over tea they discussed some of Tessa's current projects and the issues Joe was having with one of his employees at work. Alma filled them in on some of the junior ice dance teams’ progress and the rambunctious group of little ones they have for CanSkate on Tuesday nights. Scott saw the clock on the wall was ticking its way closer towards 9pm and the actual reason they were there had not yet come up. Why would it though, Alma clearly didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary and Tessa's loose chunky-knit sweater that she had pulled on over her shirt hid everything perfectly.

 

Scott bumped his knee gently against Tessa's to get her attention. She knew what he wanted and she tipped her chin up ever so slightly, giving him the go ahead.

 

"So, Tess and I wanted to tell you guys something."

 

"Oh?" Joe said, picking up on the tone of Scott's voice and realizing it was something serious. It was the same tone he had used when they told his parents about the comeback and when he first told them he was dating Jackie.

 

Scott put a hand on Tessa's knee to steady him emotionally and mentally. "Tess is pregnant...and I'm…she says I’m the father.”

 

Alma's cup clanked as she placed it abruptly into the china saucer. Both she and Joe just stared blankly at Tessa and Scott. They were not expecting this sort of news when they were not even a couple. A year ago maybe, but not now.

 

"Scott? Are you or aren’t you?" Joe finally asked for clarity.

 

"Scott _is_ the father,” Tessa insisted, glaring at Scott. _How many times do I have to tell you?_

 

Alma sighed. "Why does this feel like I have a fifteen and seventeen year old telling me this?” This was unexpected and her head was spinning.

 

Tessa pulled the ultrasound pictures out of her purse and handed them to Alma.

 

Alma looked through the pictures, one at a time, tears filling her eyes a little more with each picture. “You’re not joking,” she sniffed as she looked up at Tessa. She had nearly lost hope that Tessa and Scott would ever be together and have children together and now here they were, surprising her with this wonderful, yet confusing news.

 

Tessa shook her head. “No joke. She’s due in July.”

 

“She? Oh! Another granddaughter,” Alma cooed softly as she started looking through the pictures again. “I’m confused but very happy for the two of you.”

 

Joe cleared his throat. “Scott, what about—”

 

“She knows,” he interrupted, knowing his parents would be baffled by the news of Tessa’s unplanned pregnancy while he had been living with Jackie in Florida for the past few months.

 

“Wait. Are you two still—” Alma asked Scott, distress written over her face.

 

“Together? For now. Jackie was mad at first, but she’s come around to it, I think. Tess and I still need to figure out exactly how we navigate this unexpected turn of events,” Scott admitted as he rubbed his hand on Tessa’s back.

 

*

 

“Why do you still not believe me? I wouldn’t lie about something like this,” Tessa huffed as she yanked her laces tight. She had been surprised at how her belly had begun to hinder her ability to bend over to reach her laces. The last time she had been on the ice she hadn’t noticed it at all. She was now at the halfway point of the pregnancy, she figured a few more weeks and she wouldn’t be able to comfortably reach her laces entirely. 

 

“Believe what?” Scott asked, holding out his hand towards Tessa to help her up.

 

She accepted his offer and then clomped out of the locker room towards the ice. She yanked off her skate guards before stepping out onto the ice. “That she’s yours,” she said as she held her hand out towards Scott.

 

Scott sighed loudly as he took her hand and they began stroking slowly to warm up. “T. You know how much I want kids, how much I wanted them with you, and I wanted _us_ to be together. But what happened between us was...heartbreaking. You honestly hurt me by telling me that you couldn’t commit and didn’t know if you ever could. And then you come to me eight months later and basically tell me that you are now in the process of giving me one of the two things I want so badly when my heart still aches.”

 

“ _Scott_ —”

 

He let go of her hand and held it up to silence her, he had more to say. “You did lie. You lied by omission by not telling me for three months, Tess. _Three months_. We were at multiple events together and at a photoshoot together. We texted and emailed and had phone calls. You _knew_ you were pregnant with our daughter and you didn’t even have the decency to tell me. Three fucking months!” Scott shouted and then skated away from Tessa. He needed to calm himself down; he wasn’t supposed to blame her for her mistakes while they were on the ice.

 

Tessa skated away in the opposite direction and then leaned up against the boards as she watched Scott make lazy figure eights on the far side of the ice. She knew it was wrong for her to keep this from him and the longer she went without telling him, the harder it became to admit the truth. She rubbed her gloved hands together in a poor attempt to keep them warm. She preferred Scott’s warm hand in hers when she was on the ice, being alone was not her favourite way to skate. His patterns were moving slowly towards her, so she knew he was calming down and working his way back to communicating with her in a rational manor. They had always had a strange sort of magnetism on the ice that could not be explained.

 

He cleared his throat and wiped the tears from his face as he skated up beside her. “I could have ended things right away with Jackie and been by your side, Tess. You didn't have to do this alone. I don't _want_ you to go through this alone. I _want_ to be an active part of your life from now on, even if we are just friends.”

 

Tessa nodded and held her hand out towards Scott. He took it and rubbed it between his warm hands, her cold fingers evident even through her glove. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they started stroking around the ice again. “I’m so sorry, Scott. I know keeping this from you was wrong and that it would hurt you.”

 

Scott sighed. “I’m still coming to terms with this whole thing, and I _want_ to believe you, Tess. I’m just angry that this is happening in a way that we hadn’t planned and it changes everything and I don’t know where we go from here.”

 

*

 

“Thanks for driving me all the way home,” Tessa said as Scott pulled his truck into her driveway.

 

“Like I said earlier, T, anything for you.”

 

Tessa took three calming breaths in and out. “Stay the night?” she asked timidly, fully expecting him to say no.

 

“Oh,” Scott’s eyes went wide as he shook his head. “I don’t think I should, I mean last time we spent the night together…” his voice drifted off as he looked towards her belly.

 

“No,” she frowned. “I didn’t mean like that, Scott. I just meant it’s late and I don’t want you to have to drive all the way back to your parents’. I didn’t _mean_ in my bed, but if you really don’t want to stay—”

 

“No,” he reached out and put his hand over Tessa’s as it rested on her lap. “I do want to spend more time with you before I fly back to Florida. I’ll stay, but in the guest room.”

 

“Good!” Tessa said with a triumphant grin as she pulled on the handle to open the door of his truck.

 

**March 16, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

He was alerted to her arrival when her foot hit the creaky second-last step at the bottom of the wooden staircase.

 

“Morning Birdie!” she heard Scott sing out from the kitchen. She found him sitting at the island with a half-full mug of coffee and a stack of books.

 

“Kettle just finished, if you want your hot water with lemon,” he said without looking up at her. He had three pages left in his book and he really wanted to finish reading.

 

“Mmmm,” she grumbled as she shuffled towards the kettle in her robe and slippers. She filled the mug that Scott had left out for her beside the kettle, and turned around to lean against the counter. She watched Scott’s eyes scanning the words on the pages furiously. She had never seen him read so fast. He finished the last page and then slammed the book down on the top of the island, making Tessa jump with the unexpected noise. He smiled at her, taking in her disheveled hair and the wrinkle on the side of her cheek from her pillow. He couldn’t see her little belly with her robe tied shut, but he knew it was there and it made him feel warm and fuzzy. _Their daughter_.

 

“Coffee is also on and I can cook you breakfast, if you want. Just say the word when you’re ready. Or we can hit up The Bag Lady,” he offered with a grin.

 

She took a sip of her water and quirked an eyebrow at him. She wasn’t awake enough to think about breakfast yet, and she _knew_ that he knew that. Once she had downed half her water, she was able to form a full sentence. “What time did you get up?” she croaked.

 

“Actually, I never really went to bed,” he admitted as he sipped on his coffee.

 

“What? Why?” she frowned. _He didn’t eat his dinner last night and now he didn’t sleep? What is going on with him?_

 

“I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned for a bit then came down here. I saw your pregnancy books on the bookshelf in the living room and I figured I had some catching up to do. I realized I knew basically nothing about pregnancy. Did you know our daughter is about the size of a banana?”

 

Tessa stared at Scott for a few moments as her brain slowly processed what he had just said and then she burst out laughing.

 

Scott frowned and then smiled. He loved her laugh and he loved making her laugh.

 

“You sat up all night educating yourself on pregnancy? I’m impressed,” she said as tears filled her eyes and her bottom lip quivered. “So does this mean you’re okay with everything?”

 

Scott nodded. “You’re pregnant with our baby. This _is_ what I always wanted and I want to do this right, T. I realized around 2am that this baby is just our next project together. I want to be all in and not half-ass anything. You know I will always be fully committed to our projects. I want to learn everything that I can now, so that when she arrives I’m somewhat qualified to be given the title of _Dad_.”

 

“Scott, you’re very qualified. You’re a natural around children, you’re so good with our nieces and nephews.”

 

“But they are not mine to directly raise. I can fill them full of sugar and send them home. I can sleep through the night, every night. Did you know she’ll be awake every two hours or so to eat? And that you need to sleep when the baby sleeps because otherwise you’ll get overtired and that could affect your milk supply. You are planning to breastfeed, right? I mean, that is the best choice if you can because of the antibodies and it can lower her chance of allergies and you know how _my_ allergies are, hopefully she didn’t inherit those, but it’s your choice and I’ll support you regardless and—”

 

“Scott,” Tessa said softly as she wrapped her arm around Scott’s shoulders and gave him a squeeze. “We can spend the day discussing all of that, but right now I’m still half asleep. Let me at least have one cup of coffee before we get started okay?”

 

“Sure,” he said with a grin as she leaned her head on his shoulder and let out a soft sigh.

 

“You haven’t called me Birdie in a long time,” she said quietly next to his ear. “I’ve missed it.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress? Seems that way...
> 
> Next chapter: Scott has some heavy decisions to make regarding his future


	5. As You Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott continue their conversation and get cozy on the sofa.  
> Scott returns to Florida and makes a shocking discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Background info on The Princess Bride movie that Tessa says is one of her favourites and Scott enjoys it too....Westley and Buttercup are very much in love back in the “farm boy” days, and when she bosses him around he always responds with, “as you wish” when he really means “I love you.”
> 
> There seem to be some parallels there...keep that in mind as you read the movie section of this chapter...the "as you wish" line will be used in future chapters as well.

 

**March 16, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

"Thanks for making me breakfast, Scott. It's been ages since I’ve had your chocolate waffles," Tessa grinned as she put their empty plates into the dishwasher.

 

"I think it's been almost a year since I've made them. It’s a good thing you permanently stock cocoa powder in your pantry."

 

"One of the few things _in_ my pantry," Tessa laughed as Scott handed her a mug of coffee.

 

They moved towards the family room for the conversation she had promised him. Tessa took the corner of the L-shaped sofa and Scott sat down next to her. He was hoping she might offer him the chance to feel the baby move again, but he wasn’t sure when it would happen, so he wanted to be close by if the opportunity presented itself.

 

"Could we—”

 

Tessa nodded giving him the go ahead to begin and then took a sip of her coffee. She knew Scott likely had a million questions that he was just itching to ask. She was happy that he was embracing their _new project_ with open arms.

 

"Have you thought about where you will have the baby?"

 

Tessa ran her finger around the rim of her mug twice before answering. She wasn't sure how he would react. "Yes," she nodded. "I've decided I want to give birth at home."

 

“Tess—”

 

“Just wait, let me explain. You know my stance on naturopathic options the last few years and I’d like to think I’m fairly in tune with my body. I did my own research on home deliveries and I think it’s the best choice for me. My midwife is working with me in a birthing partnership; she’s supporting me and empowering me to achieve the ideal birth. We are close enough to the hospital if it’s required. This is really what I want.”

 

"It’s okay. That was my assumption," Scott said tenderly as he put his hand on her arm. "I support your decision, T. I did some reading on midwifery."

 

Tessa breathed a sigh of relief. She had thought he might try to pressure her into a hospital setting. "Thank you," she smiled shyly.

 

The midwife had been coming to Tessa's home for her prenatal visits and Tessa had found the experience so far to be very relaxed and far less clinical. It also offered her the ability to be more discrete with no chance of someone seeing her at a doctor's office.

 

"Do you have a birth plan made up?"

 

Tessa raised an eyebrow at Scott. _He did so much research last night. I’m very impressed._ "Yes, it’s already printed and hanging on the side of the fridge. I could give you a copy of it, if you want?"

 

"That would be good…so I know what your wishes are ahead of time. Would it be okay, I mean, am I allowed to be there? For the birth?" he asked hopefully.

 

"Absolutely!” she nodded. “You're her dad, so you're more than welcome to, if you want. I'll leave the decision up to you, I didn't want to pressure you one way or the other. I'm prepared to have my mom there as my support coach."

 

" _Tessa_. Of _course_ I want to be there. I _will_ be there. We're _still_ partners," he said softly as he put his hand on her knee.

 

Tessa pulled her eyes away from Scott’s and twirled her finger around the end of the sash on her robe. "Are we though? It hasn’t really felt like it these last few months."

 

"I know,” he admitted as he rubbed his hand over her knee in a soothing motion. “I know I just disappeared for a bit, but I needed space, T. I wanted to make it work with Jackie, and I knew I had to distance myself from you to accomplish that."

 

"And now? You're here, sitting on my sofa."

 

Scott sighed. "You're pregnant with our daughter. That kinda changes things, T."

 

Scott felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. "Sorry, I should take this," he apologized as he stood up and walked towards the living room on the other side of the house. He exhaled loudly and then accepted the video call.

 

"Hey Jackie."

 

"Hey! Where are you?" she asked as she tried to get a good look at what was behind Scott on the video screen.

 

"Tessa's."

 

"A bit early for that?" she asked, giving him a look that told him she wasn’t impressed.

 

"We had breakfast together and we have some work stuff to talk about,” he shrugged.

 

"Well, I was just calling to say hi but I guess you're busy so I'll let you carry on. Talk later?"

 

"Sorry, yeah I'll call you later."

 

"You're not being honest with her, Scott," Tessa sighed as Scott walked back into the family room. She wanted to be supportive of Scott’s relationship with Jackie, if that’s what made him happy.

 

"I’m not sure you're the best person to be giving lectures about lying by omission, T."

 

"You're right. I’m sorry. More questions?” she asked, redirecting their conversation to something a bit less sensitive.

 

"Have you researched car seats?"

 

"Not yet. Well, a little, but I was feeling overwhelmed by the choices online. I need to go in person and look at the options," she admitted.

 

"Well if you want a shopping partner, just let me know. I'd be happy to go with you.”

 

Tessa smiled at Scott as she sipped on her coffee. He really was going to be an amazing dad.

 

"What about diapers? Cloth or disposable?"

 

Tessa wrinkled her nose. "Undecided, there are definite environmental benefits for cloth but it is extra laundry and not really practical for being on tour. Thoughts?"

 

"Hmm, you’re right. On tour it would be harder to use cloth, being on the bus and different cities every night. You know, I still can't believe we're going to go on the road with our daughter! That just sounds so—”

 

"Foreign? Insane? Ridiculous?” Tessa laughed.

 

"Yeah. I mean it's only a few months away and she'll be a whole person by then. Not that she isn’t now, but—”

 

"It's okay, I know what you mean. It's exciting and terrifying and I'm glad you'll be there to support me.”

 

Scott smiled at Tessa. He was happy to support her. "We should probably change the tour bus contracts to have the bedroom at the back instead of the second lounge for our bus. You should have a place larger than a bunk where you can feed and change her or co-sleep if you want.”

 

Tessa shook her head. "That wouldn't be fair to the others though. I'm sure I could manage with my bunk."

 

"No, I insist that you and the baby take the bedroom. I'll make a note to get that changed. No arguing,” he insisted.

 

"Okay, if it means that much to you, I won't fight you on that one. Any more questions?"

 

"A few?" Scott watched Tessa smile and nod at him so he continued. "Formula or breastfeeding?"

 

"I'd like to attempt breastfeeding. I already have a recommendation for a wonderful lactation consultant. She will come over here once the baby is born."

 

“Okay. I’ll support your decision regardless on feeding. Fed is best. Vaccinations?”

 

“Absolutely, not even a question. Is that okay with you?”

 

“Yes, I agree.” Scott downed the last of his coffee and stood up. “Well, I should probably head back to my parents’ place. I need to shower and change and I don’t want to overstay my welcome and you probably have things to do today.”

 

“Actually I don’t really and you still have clothes here,” she reminded him quietly, avoiding eye contact again.

 

“Tess—”

 

“You don’t _have_ to leave, unless you want to,” she was loving his company and had missed them spending extended periods of time together.

 

“I should shower.”

 

“I have two showers.”

 

“T, are you sure you want me to hang around?”

 

She nodded. “I’m enjoying our time together. We do have some tour items we should probably discuss before you head back to Florida.”

 

“Okay, I’ll go shower and change, but are you going to wear these puppy dog jammies all day?” he laughed as he poked a finger into her thigh.

 

“No, I’ll go change too,” she grinned. “Meet you back down here?”

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

*

 

Tessa grinned when she saw Scott return to the family room freshly showered and in a Maple Leafs t-shirt and sweatpants. "Hey, so…now I have a question for you!”

 

“Oh? Okay, hit me up!” he laughed.

 

Tessa pulled the DVD case of The Princess Bride out from behind her back. “Do you want to watch a movie?"

 

“As you wish,” Scott smiled as he quoted Westley from the movie.

 

“Farm boy, fill these with water,” Tessa said as she held up their empty coffee mugs. “Please?” She laughed as she recited Buttercup’s lines from the movie.

 

“As you wish,” Scott smiled back as he took the mugs from her outstretched hands.

 

*

 

Scott woke up with a warm and familiar-smelling body snuggled up _very_ close against his. She had one finger hooked onto the chain around his neck and her other hand was tucked between his back and the sofa cushions and was resting _just_ below the waistband of his pants. One of her legs was slung lazily over the top of his and he knew their bodies were far closer than they should be but he felt guilty about waking Tessa to move her. She should be resting; her body was working so hard right now.

 

He didn't even remember falling asleep but seeing as how he was awake all night, it didn't really surprise him that he finally passed out from exhaustion. He saw that the movie had finished as he stared at the menu screen and his hand drifted towards her belly. She hadn't given him permission to touch her there, but he was still groggy and really wanted to feel their baby move one more time. Her shirt had ridden up a little during their nap and her skin was exposed. He stroked his hand up and down against her bare skin, and rested his head against hers. He started softly humming the first few bars of a song that had been stuck in his head.

 

"What are you doing?" she mumbled as she woke up from her nap.

 

Scott pulled his hand away immediately. "Sorry.”

 

"No, it's okay. I don't mind," she grabbed his hand and put it back on her stomach. "You should have time to bond with her too. What was that song?"

 

"It's nothing,” he insisted as he shook his head.

 

"No, tell me. The melody is familiar.”

 

"Just an old song.”

 

"Tell me or I'll have to tickle it out of you,” she smirked as she looked up at him.

 

"It's just this one part of a Martina McBride song that's been stuck in my head since last night.”

 

"Tell me," she insisted as she dug one finger into his armpit.

 

Scott huffed as his neck turned red in embarrassment. "In My Daughter's Eyes."

 

"Sing it to me?”

 

" _No!"_ he insisted, his voice going up two octaves higher than usual.

 

"Please?" she begged as she smirked at him, knowing full well that he was on the verge of caving into her request.

 

Scott sighed and knew she wouldn't give up until he did as she asked, so he started singing softly as he continued rubbing his hand over her belly.

 

"In my daughter's eyes

I am a hero

I am strong and wise

And I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I want to be

In my daughter's eyes"

 

"Aww, Scott!” Tessa gasped. “That's so sweet!”

 

"Oh! She's moving, T! I can feel it!”

 

"I think she likes it when her Daddy sings to her,” Tessa grinned as she buried her head against Scott’s chest.

 

 

**March 17, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

“What are these for?” Tessa asked with a furrowed brow as she accepted the triangular shaped package wrapped in brown paper from Scott, knowing full well that it was flowers.

 

“Well if you don’t want them—” Scott scoffed as he playfully attempted to pull the package from her hands while toeing off his shoes.

 

“I never said that,” she laughed as she walked from the back door towards the kitchen to unwrap them.

 

“I noticed you didn’t have any fresh flowers here yesterday, so I thought I’d bring you some. Sorry, too early for peonies so I brought you tulips,” he grinned.

 

“Well that was thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome. So, what’s on the agenda for this afternoon?”

 

“Prelim on tour merch for the fall and hotels need to get booked asap so we need to select those. Also, maybe we can synch up our calendars, just so you know where I am for my work trips and when my midwife appointments are, in case you happen to be here and want—”

 

“Yes! I do want. I’d love to be at your appointments if I can. Great idea, T.”

 

*

 

“Well, I think we made a fair sized dent in our to-do list this afternoon.”

 

Tessa nodded in agreement, feeling that there was a _but_ coming next.

 

“But I had something else I wanted to discuss since we have time,” Scott said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

 

_There it is._

 

“Have you thought of baby names yet?”

 

Tessa’s chest felt tight. If there was anything they were going to butt heads over regarding the pregnancy and the baby, it was going to be naming her. She took in a slow calming breath and slowly let it out. Scott immediately noticed and knew this would be a touchy subject but they had about four months to at least narrow it down to a shortlist of options.

 

“Yes and no,” she finally replied.

 

“Well which is it?”

 

“I have thought about it a bit, in a general sense, more like names I would definitely not want to consider, but I have not actually sat down and started a list of potential contenders.”

 

“Maybe that’s something we can start on our own over the next two weeks and when I’m back in town for the dinner and auction, we can carve out some time to sit down and compare lists?”

 

Tessa was taken aback. His offer was logical and straightforward and she was impressed. She put her hand over his where it was resting on top of the dining room table. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

 

“Great! Well, I had better head off. Family dinner tonight and my flight back is in the morning.”

 

Tessa nodded, her face stoic. She wasn’t going to admit that she was sad to see him go or that after he was gone she would go upstairs and cry herself to sleep. Scott stood up and packed his laptop and planning binder back into his bag. He pulled Tessa in for a hug and she made sure to commit the feeling of his arms around her and his scent to memory.

 

He pulled back and put one hand on her belly. He looked at Tessa, silently asking for permission. She nodded and he cleared his throat, the tears in his eyes were already forming and he didn’t want Tessa to see him being a complete sap over their unborn baby. “You be a good girl for your Mama,” he said softly as he rubbed his hand in circles. “I’ll be back in two weeks and we can talk more then, okay? Maybe I’ll sing you another song.”

 

*

 

**March 18, 2019**

**London Airport**

 

As Scott sat in his seat on the airplane and stared out through the tiny oval window at the runway, his heart felt torn. He had finally gotten back into a comfortable rhythm around Tessa and now he was leaving her and their daughter. He knew when he returned in two weeks that she would be a bigger-sized fruit and he was going to miss witnessing that growth. He was going to miss her movements and bonding with her and he felt guilty, _but_ he was also going to be back with Jackie and he _had_ missed her.

 

He sighed and opened one of the new books he had purchased at Chapters on his way to the airport that morning, _60,001+ Best Baby Names_. He had already gone through all the A names while waiting for his flight to board. He pulled out his bookmark and looked at it. It was one of the ultrasound photos and he smiled at the side profile of the baby's face. He really couldn't tell if she looked more like a Virtue or a Moir, but he hoped she looked like Tessa and would eventually have her green eyes and freckles.

 

**March 18, 2019**

**Tampa, Florida**

 

"Scott? Where are my ketchup chips?" Jackie hollered from the bedroom where she had just unzipped Scott's suitcase and didn't find what she was looking for. The chips were one of her cheat foods and she had been looking forward to the treat.

 

"Shit I forgot. I’m so sorry,” he apologized as he stood in the doorway to their bedroom.

 

"What were you doing while you were home? You had ample time to pick those up!"

 

"I was busy?"

 

"Doing what?”

 

Scott didn't answer right away, thinking through whether he should tell her the full truth or a variation of it.

 

"You know what? It's okay, I probably don’t want to know," Jackie sighed as she scooped up his dirty clothes from the suitcase and tossed them in the hamper for him.

 

"Jackie, I’m sorry. I was—”

 

"No, it's okay. Really. I'm sure I can guess so please spare me the details,” she pushed past him and went downstairs to the kitchen.

 

“What’s this?” she asked, pointing at the fridge with a sour look on her face.

 

Scott grinned. “My daughter. That’s one of the ultrasound pictures. T gave me a copy.”

 

Jackie pulled the photo off the fridge and stared at it. The photo had Tessa’s full name printed at the top, there was no mistaking who that baby belonged to. She wanted to hate that child for causing this unnecessary tension between her and Scott, but as much as she was annoyed at the situation, she couldn’t be mad at an innocent baby. She smiled politely and stuck the photo back up on the fridge, a little higher than her sight line so she wouldn’t have to directly see it. “You always wanted a daughter,” she mumbled as she yanked open the fridge to get a bottle of water.

 

*

 

Scott’s thoughts had drifted to Tessa and their baby as he ate his grilled chicken and vegetables that night at dinner. _I wonder what names Tessa will put on her list? Probably something classic. Will we give our daughter two middle names or one? Or three?_

 

“I want to get married."

 

Scott just stared blankly at Jackie, so she kicked him gently under the table. "Earth to Scott!"

 

"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere. What did you say?"

 

"I want to marry you."

 

"You _just_ got divorced!" he yelped as his eyes went wide. He stood up from the kitchen table and started pacing back and forth. _I’m not ready for this,_ he shouted internally.

 

"Yes, and now I’m available to get married again. So? What do you think?"

 

"Jackie…I…now isn’t a great time," Scott moaned.

 

"Why not?"

 

Scott shook his head. "I’m not ready for marriage."

 

"I think you are, you just don’t realize it yet. You told me before that you want to get married and have a family."

 

"It’s barely been two weeks since I found out I’m going to be a dad and now you want me to agree to marry _you?_ This is all too much, too fast."

 

“You still don’t have any proof—”

 

“Stop. She's mine, okay? I’m sorry I cheated on you with T, but she's carrying my child and I _am_ going to be there for T and our daughter."

 

"Scott, I already told you that I forgive you for sleeping with her. I can look past that. I knew you two were messy; believe me, Cara told me more than I ever wanted to know about you and Tessa. But you came back to me; you _chose_ me over her."

 

“I...I feel like I’m being pulled in two separate directions right now, Jackie. I feel like I can’t even breathe,” Scott took in a deep breath trying to calm himself down.

 

Jackie thought for a moment and then got up from the table and wrapped her arms around Scott's waist in a tight hug.

 

“What are you doing?” he gasped as he gently pushed her away from him. He was not in the mood to be hugging her right now.

 

“I’m doing that hug thing,” Jackie huffed, annoyed that he was refusing comfort from her.

 

“Sorry, that’s _only_ between me and Tess.” Scott took several steps back from Jackie, horrified that she would even _think_ to bring that into their relationship. "I just need some air." He turned quickly and bolted out the front door.

 

He walked for quite a while until he found himself outside of a Starbucks. He went inside and inhaled deeply before ordering a cappuccino with almond milk. He took the coffee outside and found a quiet place to sit in the shade. He held the scalding hot cup near his lips but didn't drink it. He just closed his eyes and breathed in the comforting scent of one of Tessa's favourite coffee orders and wished he could rewind the last twelve months of his life. He would change so many things if he could. The only thing he knew for sure he wouldn't change was that little girl growing inside of his best friend. _Their daughter._ He allowed the tears to freely roll down his cheeks as he tried to wade through his emotions and regrets and hopes and dreams.

 

By the time the coffee was cool, he felt emotionally exhausted but he still didn't have much clarity about the situation or what was the _right_ thing to do. _Should I just stop seeing Jackie and break her heart so that I can move back to Ilderton to be closer to my daughter? Would Tessa and I share equal custody of our daughter? If I stay in Florida with Jackie, how often would I see my daughter? Could I bring her with me to Florida without Tessa? Would Jackie reconsider moving back to Ilderton with me? She had already said no once._

 

He stood up and tossed the full cup of coffee in the garbage can. He figured he should make his way home before Jackie came looking for him. He owed it to her to at least have an adult conversation with her about everything.

 

As he entered the living room, he found Jackie already asleep on the sofa. She had just gotten off night shifts and he knew she had trouble staying awake on turnaround days. He picked up her empty wine glass from the coffee table and took it back to the kitchen. He glanced at the ultrasound photo and smiled, his heart feeling so full even though his head was confused. He was still deep in thought about Tessa and their daughter as he carried Jackie upstairs to bed.

 

**March 19, 2019**

**Tampa, Florida**

 

In the early hours of the morning, Scott couldn't sleep. Again. He went down to the living room and turned on his laptop. He got caught up on his emails that he had planned to work on over the weekend, but spending time with Tessa and the baby turned out to be more important. He finally got around to typing up the email about the venues that he had visited in Australia, he was glad he took notes at the time to refresh his memory. The prep work for that leg of their tour was done and now he could discuss it properly with Tessa the next time he saw her. As he leaned back against the sofa to stretch and yawn, he felt a hand slip into his.

 

"You're awake early,” Jackie said with a grin. She was even more of a morning person than Scott was, all bouncy and bubbly before the sun was even up. Very much a complete opposite of Tessa.

 

"Morning Jax. I had work and tour stuff to catch up on," he admitted as he yawned again.

 

"Did you make coffee?”

 

"No.”

 

"It's okay, I'll do it. Are you coming with me to the CrossFit meet up this morning?”

 

"No. I have some phone calls I need to make.”

 

“Oh okay, Alan will be disappointed. You know he has a crush on you,” she laughed as she ruffled his hair with her hand.

 

“Tell him I'll see him at the next one. Uh, I was wondering. Have you changed your mind? About going to therapy? I really think we would benefit from some counselling, especially with the baby—”

 

“What? No, I didn’t change my mind, Scott. We discussed this before and I don’t think we need someone meddling in our personal business.”

 

Scott didn't argue, he just nodded and focused his attention back towards his computer screen.

 

“I have a few minutes before I have to head out. Do you want to talk about Thailand?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around Scott's shoulders from behind.

 

“Sure, did you have some dates in mind?”

 

“July or August? When do you start tour prep?”

 

"September," he mumbled. His brain was spinning. _The baby is due in July and I wanted to be there for the birth and for the first few weeks to help T._ "Isn't it hot there in July?"

 

"It's Thailand, Scott. It's always hot. Besides, you survived Australia and New Zealand in their summer months. I thought you were getting used to the heat after spending so much time here in Florida?"

 

Scott typed furiously on his computer, trying to find an easy out rather than admit the truth to Jackie. "It's monsoon season?" he offered.

 

Jackie sighed. "Right. Well, we don't _have_ to do Thailand. Do you have a suggestion for somewhere else?

 

Scott shook his head. "Look, I...the baby is due in July and I—”

 

"So _that's_ why you won't commit. It's fine. We have Mallorca in May, I suppose that's enough," Jackie sighed as she pulled on her shoes. "I could block some time and join you on tour in the fall."

 

 _Mallorca. Right. That's going to be...interesting,_ Scott thought with a grimace. He wasn't even going to think as far as the fall tour right now.

 

*

 

 **Scott MOir:** Hey

 

 **Scott MOir:** Hope everything is good with you and the baby. Just wanted to let you know that I just changed my flight home and instead of returning to London March 31. I'll be back on the 25th. I have an appt with my therapist on the 27th

 

 **Tessa:** We're good! 😊 Everything ok with you?

 

 **Scott MOir:** I'm struggling with how to handle my life right now and I need some guidance

 

 **Tessa:** I'm proud of you for asking for help. If there is ANYTHING I can do, you'll tell me, right? ❤️

 

 **Scott MOir:** Yeah, I will. Thanks T. I appreciate your support

 

Scott flung his phone down onto the sofa. He wished things were simpler between him and Tessa right now. If she would just stop being so stubborn and see how they could be as great together off ice as they are on it, he would be on the next flight home. The time he had with her for three days in London was the best he’d had with her in a long time.

 

He stayed deep in his thoughts as he moved around the condo, tidying up. He liked to keep his surroundings neat and clean and Jackie wasn’t quite on the same page as him regarding that. She was more than willing to let Scott handle all of the cleaning around the house. He wiped up the coffee she had spilled on the kitchen counter and bagged up the kitchen garbage. Next he moved onto the bathroom to check on the damage she left behind in there. He swept the floor, her long hair was always all over the place, and then grabbed the garbage can to empty that as well.

 

“Oh hell no! Not a fucking chance in hell!” he growled as he saw her half-used package of birth control pills in the garbage. He _knew_ she was jealous that Tessa was pregnant with his child, but he wasn’t going to fall for her tricks. Bringing another child into this complicated situation would be the worst thing possible. He decided not to say anything to Jackie and see what her next move was going to be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, at least he caught that, right??
> 
> Next chapter: Tessa and Scott attend the charity dinner and auction in London on April 1st and prepare to fly to Mallorca for their Great Kitchen Party trip.
> 
> Want to listen to the full song Scott was singing? She (his daughter) was sent to rescue him (from his relationship with Jackie lol) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45kyH1ABy-8


	6. Living a Double Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott spend a lot of time together, including hearing their baby's heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double chapter! Carve out some time for this 9200+ word update!

 

 

**March 25, 2019**

**London Airport**

 

As soon as the airplane's wheels touched down on solid ground, Scott felt relieved to be back in the same city as Tessa and his daughter. He had only been gone a week and missed them both more than he would ever admit out loud to anyone. It took all of his willpower to not stop in at Tessa's on his way from the airport to his parents' place. He had agreed to help Alma and Carol at the rink that afternoon and Tessa was going to meet him later for a skate. She had been doing a photoshoot for Saffron Road that morning and needed an afternoon nap to recharge before skating.

 

Jackie hadn’t said anything about her birth control pills being in the garbage and Scott didn’t bring it up either. He purposely stayed up late reading or responding to emails every night the past week to make sure she was asleep by the time he crawled into bed. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep avoiding sex with her before she caught onto what he was doing and made them discuss the situation.

 

 

**March 25, 2019**

**Ilderton Arena**

 

"Are you still coming over tomorrow afternoon for the midwife appointment?" Tessa asked as she twirled around on the ice.

 

Scott was in over-protective mode as he grabbed onto Tessa's hand to stop her from moving so quickly. "Yes, but I'm not sure you should be spinning around like that, T."

 

“Oh Scott, it's fine,” she scoffed. “I'm supposed to be the worrier and over-thinker between us. I’m still very stable on my skates; besides, there is probably a greater chance of me tripping over my own two feet while walking down the sidewalk than me falling on the ice.”

 

“Still, you’re carrying precious cargo and I wouldn’t want anything to happen.” He pressed a kiss to their joined hands and then added, “To either of you.”

 

 

**March 26, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Tessa had spent the last ten minutes pacing around her bedroom. She was supposed to be packing for her trip, but she had just gotten off the phone with Kate and was torn on what she should do.

 

She had her phone clutched tightly in her hand as she walked back and forth. She nearly called him twice, her thumb hovering over his number, but she couldn’t bring herself to go through with it. She even typed out a lengthy text message but then deleted it. She jumped with surprise when her phone started ringing. She knew from the ring tone who it was, it was as if he knew she was trying to contact him but couldn’t make the first move.

 

“Hi” she answered trying to act shocked to hear from him and not let her voice sound so nervous.

 

“Hey, just double checking what time you want me to come over for the midwife appointment. Not sure if you wanted me over earlier than 1pm?”

 

“Oh,” she breathed out, relieved that he hadn’t read her mind after all. “Um, half hour or so before is fine. If you have any questions for the midwife, maybe you can run them by me first, so we don’t have another _can you see the paternity on an ultrasound_ question come up?”

 

“Funny, Virtch. I promise I’ll do my best to not embarrass you in front of your midwife. Well, I’ll see you in a bit then.”

 

“Scott? Wait, I…I wanted to ask you something.”

 

“Sure, Kiddo. Shoot.”

 

“What time is your counselling appointment tomorrow?”

 

“10am, why?”

 

“Well, I don't know if you saw on my calendar but I have to be in Toronto this Thursday and Friday for work and my mom was supposed to go with me, but she just called to tell me that she caught Poppy’s cold and she said she didn't want to get _me_ sick by spending two days in close proximity to me because I’m limited as to what I can take for relief while pregnant. Anyways, what I was wondering is, if you weren’t busy, if you wanted to tag along to Toronto and keep me company? I have a large room with two beds booked, or if you want your own room I can book you one, my treat.”

 

Scott's heart leapt at her offer. He wanted to jump up and down and shout, _yes, a thousand times yes,_ but he didn't want to come across as a desperate man, so he offered a simple _sure thing Kiddo_ in response, not even considering what would happen if Jackie found out.

 

“Really? You’re available? I thought for sure you’d have something going on.”

 

“Me? Nah, not really. I was mainly going to use this time as sort of a self-reflection after my therapy appointment, but I can do that in Toronto just as easily as Ilderton.”

 

He suggested if they shared a room, he could get in some preparation time for their upcoming events and the tour and she quickly agreed. Really he just wanted an excuse to be as close to Tessa as he could, as often as he could. He could sense that she too wanted him close, or she wouldn’t even have offered for him to stay with her. He was pretty sure she wasn't intending for anything more than sleeping to take place in the room, and he was completely fine with that. _He did still have a girlfriend after all._

 

“Train leaves at 3:43pm, tomorrow, if you want to leave your truck parked here, we can take an Uber together from my place to the train station?”

 

“Sounds good, I’ll see you later, T.”

 

*

 

“So, does your midwife know that I’m the father, or…”

 

Tessa winced. “Andrea? No, I didn’t divulge who the father was to her and she never asked why there wasn’t a guy around during her visits.”

 

“So, do we want to keep it that way? Or do you think she’ll suspect it if I’m at the appointment?”

 

“I’m not sure that I’m ready to be telling her _that_ ,” she admitted. “Not that I’m ashamed or anything,” she quickly added when she saw how his face fell slightly. “It’s just…”

 

“Complicated. I know, T. I want to tell everyone but no one at the same time. She is our special little project and I think it’s okay to keep that to ourselves a while longer.”

 

“Well, I think we’ll need to post an announcement online soon though, probably get it out in the open before the auction because I’m not sure any of my outfits could properly hide what’s going on here anymore,” she sighed as she waved her hands around her round little belly.

 

A huge part of Tessa wanted to just go into hiding until the baby was born so she didn't have to reveal anything. She wanted to keep their daughter private and away from the questions and rumours that would no doubt rage like a wildfire.

 

“How about if she asks, I’m just there for moral support?”

 

Tessa nodded in agreeance. _Just a friend helping out a friend. Seems logical._

 

*

 

“No Kate today?” Andrea asked as she followed Tessa into the family room.

 

“No, she’s home with a cold. My friend Scott is here in her place,” Tessa said as she introduced her midwife to Scott.

 

“Ah, the skating partner. Nice to meet you,” she smiled knowingly as she shook Scott’s hand. Both Tessa and Scott were relieved the conversation surrounding his presence stopped there.

 

As Tessa lay on the sofa, Andrea took her vitals and measured the growth of the baby and went over previous concerns Tessa had as well as inquired about anything new.

 

“Baby seems to be in a growth spurt, measuring now a week ahead, where as the ultrasound you had eleven days ago was measuring a week behind. So that’s good. Ready to listen to the heartbeat?” she asked.

 

Tessa nodded and looked over at Scott. He nodded back from where he was sitting on the chair across from the sofa. The sound of galloping horses filled the room and Scott couldn’t help but let the tears fall freely. He was overcome with emotion and love for the baby, and couldn’t stop himself from standing up and crossing the room. He knelt down beside Andrea and put his hand on Tessa’s knee to ground his emotions. He needed her comfort to not lose his composure completely and he knew she needed his touch as well.

 

Andrea turned to look at Scott and she smiled softly at the way he was gazing at Tessa as if she was his wife. “An amazing sound, isn’t it?” Andrea asked Scott.

 

He nodded furiously; keeping his eyes locked on Tessa as she wiped away her tears with her hand and grinned at Scott.

 

“Everything sounds good,” Andrea said as she pulled the doppler off of Tessa’s belly.

 

“Wait,” Scott pleaded as he fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket. “Could you please turn that sound back on so I can record it on my phone?”

 

“Turn it on?” Andrea tried to stifle a laugh. “I just touch the end of the probe here to Tessa’s abdomen and it picks up the baby’s heartbeat. How about you use the doppler and I make the recording?”

 

Scott’s eyes went wide. “Could I?” he asked Andrea and then immediately turned to look at Tessa. “T? Is that okay with you?”

 

“Of course,” she whispered as she wiped more tears away from her eyes.

 

Andrea guided Scott’s hand holding the probe over Tessa's belly until they picked up the heartbeat again. Then she started a video recording on Scott’s phone of Tessa and Scott listening to the baby’s heartbeat.

 

“You’ll air drop that to me after, right Moir?” Tessa laughed as she continued to wipe away the happy tears that just wouldn’t stop flowing.

 

 

**March 27, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott sat in his truck parked outside his psychologist’s office. While he didn’t have an exact game plan of what he should do with his complicated situation, he did feel better having talked it through with someone who wasn’t directly involved in the outcome of his decision. He knew regardless of how he proceeded; at least one person would end up hurt and he hoped it wouldn’t be him.

 

 

**March 27, 2019**

**Via Rail Train somewhere between London and Toronto, Ontario**

 

Scott was sitting across from Tessa on the train and kept eyeing her belly as they made the two-hour trip between London and Toronto. She had noticed, but said nothing as she was _trying_ to read her book, but she gave up at about the twenty-third time he had glanced at her in five-minute span. She lowered her book and looked at Scott.

 

"Problem, Moir?"

 

"Is it rude for me to say you look larger than you did yesterday?”

 

"Yes," Tessa hissed. _How dare he,_ she thought with a smirk as she put her hand on her belly. "Definitely rude, but forgivable considering the circumstances. Probably the growth spurt Andrea was talking about though.”

 

"Mmm-hmm" Scott hummed with a triumphant smirk of his own as he turned back to looking out the window. Tessa rubbed slow circles across her belly and then continued reading her book; satisfied he would leave her alone for a while.

 

Not two minutes later, Tessa could once again feel his eyes burning holes through the book she was reading. "Yes?" she asked without looking up from her book, trying not to sound as annoyed as she felt.

 

"She's as big as a spaghetti squash and weighs about one pound now."

 

"Mmm-hmm," Tessa hummed in agreeance.

 

"T?"

 

Tessa closed her eyes for a moment and sighed internally as she lowered her book to look up at Scott. "Yeah?"

 

"Do you want to put your legs up on my lap? For better circulation, I mean.”

 

She stared at him while she processed what he had just said and then smiled. He was being sweet, caring Scott (her favourite version of him) and she had a feeling he would be doting on her like this for the next few days. She knew it would be wrong to take advantage of his generosity, but a personal butler could be fun? _Right?_ She pulled off her shoes and put her feet up on Scott's lap, sighing softly as his fingers began kneading at the muscles in her foot and calf. Kate had never offered travelling companion services _like thi_ s.

 

**March 27, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

When they arrived at Union Station, Scott insisted on handling all of her bags, citing she shouldn't be lifting heavy things. She rolled her eyes and let him take her bags as she led the walk towards the Royal York hotel, located conveniently across the street from the station. Scott hung back while Tessa checked in, in case they were recognized at the front desk, and then met her at the elevators with her oversized rolling suitcase and two carry-on bags plus his one small duffle bag.

 

They rode up to the room in silence, as Scott was deep in his thoughts, mostly about the baby; what name they would settle on, what colour her hair would be, what colour her eyes would be. He continued his thinking while he hefted her suitcase up onto the luggage rack and pulled his toiletry bag out of his duffle. He patiently waited outside the bathroom while Tessa finished up. She opened up the door and blushed to find him standing next to it as she turned back to check her hair in the mirror.

 

“Bladder empty now?” he smirked as he reached around her at the sink and put his bag down.

 

She looked at him through the mirror and nodded, her top knot bobbing. Scott flicked it with his hand and raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“How many channels do you get with your satellite dish?”

 

“That joke is _so_ six years ago,” she huffed as she rolled her eyes at him.

 

“Some jokes are timeless, T. You ready to get some dinner?”

 

*

 

“Ho, ho! You brought your sexy jammies for our sleepover!” Scott chuckled as Tessa stepped out of the bathroom.

 

Tessa looked down at her flamingo-print pajamas and then back up at Scott, an unamused expression on her face. “I’m limited now as to what fits. I need to go shopping,” she grumbled as she tugged at the hem of her shirt so it covered her body better. She hated feeling self-conscious of her changing body shape, especially since she had no control over the changes.

 

Scott pulled Tessa in for a side hug. “I’m sorry, Virtch. I’m being a bit of a pain tonight, aren’t I?” He had been teasing her all evening and he knew he was being _Jerk Scott._

 

“Something like that,” she mumbled as he let go and went into the bathroom to get himself ready for bed.

 

When he returned wearing his sleep shorts and a t-shirt, the room was dark and Tessa was already lying in her bed. “No reading tonight?” he asked, he thought he knew her nightly routines.

 

“No, too tired. You can read if you want, the light won’t bother me,” she said as she rolled over so she didn’t have to look at him. The thought of him so close yet so far away and technically not hers made her heart ache.

 

Scott left the light off and climbed into his bed. He listened to Tessa rustling around in her bed for several minutes as she tried to get comfortable so she could fall asleep. "You're so restless," he chuckled.

 

Tessa groaned as she rolled over again. "It’s only going to get worse before it gets better."

 

Scott propped himself up on his elbows and frowned. "What do you mean?" he whispered into the darkness.

 

"I mean the baby will only get larger and consequently I will be more uncomfortable and I'll be up more times to pee at night than I already am."

 

"Oh. I’m sorry."

 

"It's fine, Scott. It's only temporary," Tessa sighed as she rolled over again.

 

"Can I do anything to help you fall asleep?" He was thinking maybe a cup of tea or rubbing her back might help.

 

"It wouldn't be appropriate."

 

His eyes went wide. _What does she mean? Sex?_

 

"Could you elaborate please, Tess?"

 

"No."

 

"Please? For our daughter?"

 

Tessa huffed as she sat up in bed and looked towards Scott in the dark room. _Of course he would throw that in there. Using our daughter to get me to cooperate. Damn it all, it worked._ "You have a girlfriend, Scott."

 

"That's never stopped us before. Do you want to have sex?"

 

She was silent as she tried to form a cohesive sentence while her brain tried to rationalize why sex would be a bad idea. It's not what she had intended at all, but he went there and now she had to as well.

 

He took her silence to be a yes and he started to pull the duvet off his body to get out of bed.

 

"Um, no, that's not what I had meant. I mean, sure that would be...but...you have a girlfriend and I want us to be better than we used to be and not so…I don’t know… _complicated_."

 

He pulled the duvet back over his body. "T. We'll always be complicated and layered. We have too many years together to not be. I thought you were asking for sex but I'm gauging by your stuttering that it’s not at all what you meant and I apologize for making things awkward between us right now. I had initially meant maybe I could make you some tea or give you a back rub or something more along the lines of whatever Kate would do to help you."

 

"I didn't mean sex either. I was just shocked you offered."

 

"Sorry," he apologized. He felt like an idiot for assuming she wanted sex from him.

 

"I mean, sex or at least an orgasm, would definitely help me sleep...but I had thought just cuddling, you know, having your arms around me. For the record, mom doesn't offer me anything. She just puts up with listening to me roll around in bed.”

 

Scott didn’t answer. He just pulled the duvet off himself again and padded around to the far side of Tessa's bed. He slid in towards the middle of the bed and waited for her to lie down and come to him.

 

"This isn't the first time we've shared a bed for comfort, T."

 

Tessa sighed as she pressed her body against Scott's side, his arm coming down around her, pulling her tight.

 

"You have a girlfriend though, Scott," she whispered as she snuggled her head against his shirt.

 

"But you're my best friend, T."

 

"If I were a guy, would you still let me snuggle you?" she asked with a smile on her face.

 

"If you were a guy and pregnant with my child, I absolutely still would," he laughed and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head.

 

The heat from Scott's body and his strong arm pinning her to the bed, had Tessa fast asleep in less than five minutes. After she had finally stilled, he pressed another kiss to the top of her head and whispered to her, “I’m sorry for teasing you today, Tess. I do it because I’m still in love you but I’m having a hard time figuring out in what way I should be _allowed_ to love you right now.”

 

 

**March 28, 2019**

**Tampa, Florida**

 

Jackie squinted her eyes as she entered the bright break room at work; the sun was just coming up over the horizon, which meant her shift was nearly done. It had been a busy night full of some difficult patients. She was looking forward to a text message from Scott to cheer her up; he usually sent her a few while she was working, especially when he was back in Canada. She frowned when there was nothing from him but she was surprised to find a text message from Cara, they hadn’t texted in a while. She hoped nothing happened to Scott.

 

**Cara:** J! How’s it going my friend?

 

**Jackie:** Working nights, so it’s going slowly lol. Nearly done my shift for today.

 

**Cara:** Aww, that must be tough working through the night. Just wanted to check if you were coming up to the auction & dinner on April 1st with Scott?

 

**Jackie:** No, I’m working then. Why?

 

**Cara:** Andy can’t go, so I have an extra ticket and was wondering if I could convince you to come up for a visit? Girl time? Nashville & WOF were so much fun!

 

**Jackie:** Oh yes! I could surprise Scott! He flew home earlier than originally planned & I miss him. I will check if I can trade my shifts & let you know!

 

 

**March 28, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

While Tessa was in her morning meeting, Scott spent the warm spring day in Harbour Square Park. He walked along the boardwalk for a while, deep in thought and then sat on a park bench and watched the people walk by and the ferries coming and going across the harbour.

 

Scott decided this trip to Toronto was just what he needed after his counselling appointment. Time to be alone with his thoughts and sort through everything in his head. He knew without a doubt what he wanted; it was the same thing that he had wanted his entire life. He just didn’t know if beating his head against a brick wall was going to get him anywhere, but for his daughter he would try his best to at least talk things through with Tessa.

 

*

 

Tessa returned to their hotel room later that day to find a huge bouquet of peonies on the table in the corner of the room. Her heart started beating quickly as she walked towards the flowers, wondering who they could be from, yet knowing in her heart that they were only from one person. She picked up the card that was lying on the table and read it to herself.

 

T

Sorry for being a pain in your ass yesterday.

You and the baby deserve better from me.

Love, Scott

 

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she turned around to check if he was hiding in the room, watching her, but he was no where to be seen. They hadn’t really discussed what their plans were for the remainder of the day, so she didn't know what he was doing or when he would be back.

 

*

 

She awoke later from her nap to find Scott sitting on the chair next to the peonies. He was busy reading his baby name book and didn’t notice that she was awake. She watched his eyes dart back and forth across the pages as he read. He would pause every so often and type something on his phone and then continue reading. She assumed he was working on his name list. She hadn’t even started. She was procrastinating because the very idea of having to settle on one name that both she and Scott agreed upon filled her with too much anxiety.

 

She sighed internally as her bladder was insisting she get up _now_ or there would be trouble. As soon as she moved her arm, Scott's eyes were on her. He always had a sixth sense about her movements.

 

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” he grinned as he put down his book.

 

“Hi,” she smiled shyly as she hurried off to the bathroom.

 

Scott chuckled and picked up his phone to look through his nearly completed list of names for their daughter. He was excited to narrow down the list further with Tessa and see what names she had come up with and he couldn't wait to start using their daughter's name instead of saying _she_ or _baby_.

 

Tessa came out of the bathroom and walked over to Scott. She bumped her knee against his. “Thanks for the peonies,” she smiled shyly at him.

 

Scott looked up at Tessa's eyes and then down at her belly that was right in front of his face. “Took me three flower shops to find them but it's the least I could do for being a jerk. Too much teasing,” he shook his head and the moved his hand slowly towards her, his fingers ghosting over the small bump that was under her shirt. “I’m sorry.”

 

Tessa pressed her hand over Scott’s, pushing it against her belly. She took in a sharp breath as his hand made contact with her body; the sensation of his touch radiated like electricity through her veins.

 

“You don’t have to ask,” she whispered as she moved their joined hands in circles over her shirt. “If you want to connect with her, just go ahead. We’ve never had a problem with touch before, why start now.”

 

“Thank you, that means a lot, but if it’s ever too much, please just tell me to back off.” He smiled as he added his other hand to her belly; it was still small enough that both of his hands nearly covered the whole bump. “I can’t wait to meet her, T.”

 

Tessa moved her gaze from their joined hands to Scott’s eyes; she noticed they were filled with tears. “Me too,” she whispered with a smile.

 

“Could I take the two of you lovely ladies out for dinner tonight? As a further apology?” he asked hopefully and then pressed a kiss to Tessa’s belly.

 

Tessa shook her head. "Sorry, I have dinner plans tonight, so you’re on your own until later.”

 

“Oh, okay,” he said as tried to hide the disappointment he felt. “No problem. What’s tomorrow like for your schedule?” He had hoped that he could smooth over how he acted yesterday with dinner at one of her favourite places _._

 

“Photoshoot in the morning and meetings and interviews in the afternoon and then I’ll be dead tired and need to sleep, so dinner is probably out tomorrow night too. But Saturday I have nothing planned other than I really need to buy some new clothes that better fit my expanding waistline.”

 

*

 

Scott had spent his evening finishing up his baby name list and taking a _Tessa approach_ to his dilemma by making some pros and cons lists regarding the options he had. He came out with the same sort of answer as before; he wanted to continue to love Tessa for their daughter’s sake, in any way that she would receive him. He still didn't know how Jackie fit into his future in the long-term, and he knew he owed it to Jackie to figure that out sooner rather than later.

 

*

 

Tessa returned to their hotel room just before midnight and found Scott sitting in his bed, reading a parenting book with the television was on low, highlights from the hockey game flickering on the screen.

 

"Cinderella made it back before she turned into a pumpkin," he smirked as he put down his book.

 

"You didn't have to wait up for me," she sighed as she kicked off her high heels and rushed towards the bathroom.

 

"As your roommate I feel I'm partially responsible to make sure you make it back safely after a night out on the town," he said loudly so she would hear him through the closed bathroom door.

 

He heard the toilet flush and water running before she poked her head back out of the door. "Night on the town?"

 

"I can smell _nightclub_ on you."

 

"And what _exactly_ does nightclub smell like, Scott?"

 

"Alcohol, sweat, dirty socks, and chicken wings."

 

Scott heard Tessa laughing loudly from the bathroom where he guessed she was removing her make up. He figured she was going out with friends tonight by the way she was dressed and how dark her eye shadow was, but she didn't offer up any details nor did she invite him to tag along, so he hadn’t pressed her for more information.

 

"You weren't drinking, were you?"

 

Tessa walked out of the bathroom and over to her suitcase. "No, _Mom_ , I wasn't. I know the risks and I would never do that to our daughter. What's with the interrogation?" She turned around and stood with one hand on her hip, the other clutching her flamingo pajamas as she glared at Scott.

 

"I'm sorry. You're right. You're an adult and I'm not the boss of you. Did you have fun?"

 

"Clubs are not really my idea of fun, you know that," Tessa sighed. "Jordan asked me to go out with her and some of her friends from Barre. We had dinner at Jump then we went dancing at Lost and Found. It was just women in our group, so relax. I didn't change my mind and get myself a secret boyfriend."

 

"That's not what I was implying, but if you did have a boyfriend, I would support you, T."

 

"Your clenched jaw says otherwise," she scoffed.

 

"Truce?" he asked, blinking his puppy dog eyes at her.

 

"Sure," Tessa waived her hand in the air as she went into the bathroom to change out of her dress and into her pajamas.

 

Scott groaned as he put his head in his hands. _I’m fucking things up again_. An idea came to him just then, an apology of sorts. He jumped out of bed and rummaged through his duffle bag. His hand wrapped around a small red ball in the inside pocket and he smiled. He went over to Tessa's bed and turned down her blanket and fluffed up her pillow, making the bed ready for her to get in, he knew she must be tired. He placed the red ball in the middle of her pillow and then quickly got back into his bed.

 

He watched Tessa walk out of the bathroom and towards the closet to hang up her dress. When she returned she saw what Scott had done. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, she could never stay completely mad at him. She scooped the Lindt chocolate off her pillow and wrapped her hand around it tightly; she preferred the centre to be nearly molten and the outside soft, and body heat always did the trick.

 

She turned around and walked towards where Scott was sitting in his bed, pretending to read his book. He had made it back under the covers mere seconds before Tessa had returned from the bathroom. She swatted gently at his thigh with the back of her hand, indicating he was to scoot over and make room for her to sit down. He did, because they often didn't need words to understand what the other needed.

 

"I brushed my teeth already, but thanks for the chocolate. Do you want to share it?"

 

"Nah, you go ahead Virtch."

 

She moved the chocolate to her other hand. "You still carry chocolates in your bag for me?"

 

Scott shrugged. "After all these years it's kinda just habit to keep my luggage and vehicles stocked with emergency _Tessa chocolates_ ," he admitted as he lost himself in her eyes; they twinkled in the dimly-lit room. "I'm sorry, T."

 

Tessa frowned as she transferred the chocolate to her other hand. "We need to sort this out. We somehow got stuck in this loop of you bugging me and then I get annoyed and you apologize and then it starts all over again. What's going on, Scott? You're not fifteen anymore. Why are you acting like it?"

 

"I don't know," Scott shook his head. He didn't know if he was ready to talk about his love for Tessa, only to have her shoot him down right before bed.

 

"I think you do. Can we figure this out?" For her?" Tessa asked as she rubbed one hand over her belly and attempted to use one of Scott's tactics on himself.

 

"Can we talk about it in the morning?" he sighed.

 

Tessa looked down at the Lindt chocolate ball in her hand. She gave it a squeeze to check the softness and then pulled on the ends of the red foil to unwrap it.

 

"I'm just going to eat this and then go re-brush my teeth. I'm okay to wait until morning, if you'll sleep in my bed again?” she blushed at what her request sounded like and felt she needed to clarify. “I mean, just so I can fall asleep quickly, not—”

 

Scott smiled and nodded. "As you wish."

 

 

**March 29, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

Scott woke up with a start. The sun was already peaking through the slit in the black-out curtains and he couldn't feel Tessa behind him. He rolled onto his back and saw her lying on the far side of the bed with her back to him; they must have drifted apart in their sleep.

 

She felt the dip in the mattress as he moved so she rolled back over to check if he was awake.

 

"Hey."

 

"Hi."

 

"How long have you been up? You look wide awake, T."

 

"A few hours," she confessed. "I had to pee and couldn't fall back to sleep because someone was having a dance party."

 

"Come closer?" he asked softly.

 

She slid her way towards him as he turned on to his side to face her. She left nearly an arms length between them, so she could see his face better.

 

Scott put one hand on Tessa's belly. "Is she still dancing or did she go back to sleep?"

 

"Sleeping, I think. Scott, can we talk now? I was fretting about it all night. What's going on? I thought we were finally good? Everything seemed okay between us until we checked into this hotel. Would you rather have your own room? I won't be offended if you want to leave."

 

Scott reached out and tucked a loose piece of hair behind Tessa's ear and then ran the back of his hand along her jawbone, causing her eyes to flutter shut.

 

"This is all on me," he whispered and she immediately shook her head to disagree with him.

 

"Don't—”

 

"Please, let me get this off my chest first, T?"

 

"Ok," she whispered.

 

“Do you think if I were single, that I’d ever have another shot at making things work? I mean, us? Could we try again?”

 

“Is _that_ what this is about?” Tessa let out a huge breath of relief that he wasn’t wanting to leave, and to quickly process what he had just asked her. “Scott…I don’t know. Right now I just want to focus as much energy as I can on our baby. I have enough emotions and exhaustion from that, I’m not sure I would be good girlfriend material."

 

"I don't mean as my girlfriend, Tess. I mean as my _forever_. My life partner. My wife. Could you see yourself one day loving me again like that? For our daughter? Could we be a real family of three?"

 

Tessa took in a sharp breath as her mind flashed back to Japan.

 

 

**June 23, 2018**

**Niigata, Japan**

****Flashback****

 

"I'm not ready, Scott. We don't owe anyone anything or any sort of explanation. We don't have to make an official announcement that we're dating. Are we even dating? I thought we were sort of beyond that?" Tessa huffed as she paced back and forth in her hotel room.

 

"Tess, please. It would help calm things—”

 

"Since when do you care about what people on social media think, Scott?"

 

"I don't but I love you and what happened has made you extremely upset and I just want to fix things for you. We should just come clean with an announcement and—”

 

"And then _that's_ what we'll be remembered for, as the fairytale love story and not as Tessa and Scott the skaters. We need time for the Olympic dust to settle before admitting we're together because what if things don't work out, then we have to make another announcement to say we're no longer dating but come see us at our next skating show? No. The fans don't need to be privy to that. Once we're engaged or married—”

 

"Well I can go get you a ring today—”

 

"No! We need to take this slow and make sure it's done right."

 

"We've been together almost twenty-one years, how much more time do you need?"

 

"We weren't _dating_ for twenty-one years, Scott."

 

"It kinda feels that way?" he admitted quietly.

 

Tessa frowned at Scott. "What's that supposed to mean?"

 

"It means I've been in love with you in some shape or form since I was a child and I'm ready to move forward and see where life takes us. I want to be official and public. I want to express my love for you completely without boundaries. I want to hold your hand off the ice and kiss you off the ice and I don't want the stress of constantly thinking about where we are and who we're with and what level of touching is acceptable at that moment. I'm just tired of this charade, T."

 

"Well we're not on the same page then. I do love you and I do want to be with you, and maybe yes, one day marry you, but now isn't the time to go public. I think we need a break, just a little time apart to think everything through."

 

"You don't mean that, Tessa!" Scott cried out.

 

"I do. I'm going to take some time to reflect while Kat is here and we can re-visit _us_ when we get back to Canada. Just pause _us_ for like two weeks Scott, let things settle."

 

Scott didn't reply, he just stormed out of her room and went down to the hotel bar to drown his emotional pain in a glass of something strong.

 

After that night their relationship was strained until their return to Canada when they had their follow up discussion.

 

 

**March 29, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

"I honestly don't know, Scott. You've moved on, you're with Jackie now," she said quietly as she twisted the top of the sheet between her fingers.

 

"Because I can't be with you the way I want to be! You told me we needed to spend some time apart and that you couldn't give me a timeframe for moving forward. You told me that I shouldn't wait for you because you didn't know if or when you would be ready to commit to me publicly."

 

"I did…but I didn't expect you to move on to someone else so quickly, I thought...I thought you were going to wait," she admitted quietly.

 

"I didn't know how long I would have to wait, T, and should I have waited ten years for you to still turn me down? I sort of had no choice but to move on. I know you love me, what are you so scared of?"

 

" _What?"_ she hissed, offended that he would even suggest such a thing.

 

"You heard me."

 

Tessa was silent for several minutes. Her eyes were locked on Scott's as she considered what he had just said. “I'm not _scared_...well I guess I do have trepidations," she finally admitted.

 

"About?"

 

"About a lot of things. Look, we have time to sort through this. There's no rush. We don't have to do this right now...not before she's born and while you're still with Jackie."

 

"If I wasn't with Jackie?"

 

"I just don't know if I'm in a position to give you what you want right now. I told you that emotionally and physically I want to focus on the baby. Look, I need to get up and shower before I head out. Maybe we can talk more about this later?"

 

Scott averted his eyes from Tessa's to hide the pain he knew was shining there. He stroked her belly gently and whispered, "As you wish."

 

*

 

Tessa returned after a full day of sponsor work to find Scott filling the bathtub full of hot water.

 

"Taking a bath, Moir?" she asked as she leaned against the doorframe to the bathroom.

 

"No, you're going to have a bath and relax while I order up room service for you."

 

Tessa smiled at him. _Sweet Scott_ was back, and she was glad she had texted him this time that she was on her way back to the hotel. "Is there a catch? Or is this _just because?"_

 

"Just because I love you as my best friend and the mother of my child. No catch. I don't want the weight of what we discussed this morning to hang over us for the rest of this trip."

 

 

**March 30, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

“My arms are about to fall off, T. I swear these bags weigh nearly three times as much as you. Are we nearly done?” Scott whined as he trudged along behind Tessa and Jordan.

 

"Buck up, Moir. You should be glad I'm not also buying things today," Jordan laughed as she looped her arm through Tessa's.

 

“Last stop up ahead, Scott. My feet and legs are killing me, so I have no choice but to call it a day. I should have enough clothes for everyday wear and for the next few events now."

 

*

 

"This was nice," Tessa said with a smile, gesturing to the empty plates on the table.

 

"It was," Scott nodded. He knew he had to keep _Jerk Scott_ from reappearing. He wanted to somehow prove to her that she needed him and that it was in her best interest, and the baby's, that they work on sorting out their issues before the baby is born.

 

Scott and Tessa both opened their mouth to say something at the same time, but she waived for him to go ahead.

 

"Thanks. Where are you at for baby names? Long list?"

 

Tessa blushed and shook her head. "I'm terrible, I haven't even started."

 

" _Tess_ —”

 

"I will, I promise! We have lots of time."

 

Scott sighed and smiled at her procrastination. "Well I'm ready when you are. Now, what were you going to say?"

 

"Well, I was thinking it's time to make the announcement about our little project," Tessa sighed as she twisted the two silver rings on her left hand. A huge part of her wanted to just go into hiding until the baby was born so she didn't have to reveal anything. She wanted to keep their daughter private and away from the questions and rumours that would no doubt rage like a wildfire.

 

"Are you sure, T?"

 

"Believe me, this is the last thing I want to do, but I can't put this off any longer. I'll make the post and then I’ll take a day or two away from social media. Hopefully the well-wishes outweigh the rumours and speculation."

 

"Rumours?"

 

"I don't think we should reveal right now that you're her dad. We're not a couple and you're with Jackie. You understand how people will do the math and figure out when this happened and that you were cheating on your married girlfriend with your ex… _whatever we were_."

 

Scott scrubbed his hands over his face and groaned. "Okay, okay. You're right, as usual. So what are you going to say?"

 

Tessa sighed. "I would have loved to post _Baby credit: Scott Moir_ , but that's not practical in this timeline. What about _Next project due July 2019_? It's ambiguous enough and doesn't say specifically if it's my project or ours."

 

"With a picture from the ultrasound?"

 

Tessa nodded. "I want you to chose the picture though, because even if I don't mention you this is still _our_ announcement."

 

*

 

**March 31, 2019**

**Via Rail Train somewhere between Toronto and London, Ontario**

 

“Sick of me yet?” Tessa smirked as she settled back into her seat after another bathroom break. They were nearly back in London after spending a leisurely morning in their hotel room with room service breakfast discussing details of their upcoming tour and rehearsing their speeches for the Sports Celebrity Dinner.

 

“Sick of you? Never,” Scott scoffed with a grin.

 

“Good. Are you staying at your parents’ place tonight?”

 

“Yeah, I suppose. I didn’t really think that far. Thanks for inviting me along on this trip. I did enjoy our time together the last few days though, T. Kinda like old times, eh?”

 

Tessa nodded and then opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind. Scott caught her doing this and then watched as she chewed on her bottom lip.

 

“Whatcha thinking about, Virtch? Just spit it out. I think that after almost twenty-two years together and all we have been through that I’m not really going to be offended by whatever you have to say.”

 

Tessa looked at Scott “Stay at my place until you fly back on the third?”

 

Scott rubbed his hand nervously over the back of his neck. “T, are you sure?”

 

“I’m sure, but only if you’re okay with it,” she nodded and then took a deep breath, averting her eyes to her belly as she rubbed her hand gently over the rounded swell.

 

“I can tell there is something else, T. What is it?”

 

“In my bed?” she asked quietly, completely ashamed of what she was asking. “These last few nights with you I’ve felt more rested than ever and sleep is so important right now.”

 

Scott smiled and reached his hand over to press it to her belly. “For her, if that’s what you need from me."

 

**April 1, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott woke up to find Tessa’s belly pressed up against his body and her head tucked under his chin. He wanted nothing more than to kiss the parted lips that were puffing out little breaths of air against his bare chest, but she wasn't ready to be with him that way. He reluctantly would take whatever she allowed him to have, and if cuddling in bed was it, then he was okay with that for now. He settled for kissing the top of her head and she responded by humming with content, which vibrated against his chest. He hoped soon he could change her mind and show her that they _could_ be a family of three; he wanted nothing more than a life with only her and their daughter.

 

He saw the clock read nearly 9am and figured it was about time they get up. He gently smoothed the fabric of her pajama shirt against her back before attempting to wake her. "Are you ready to check out the damage done by your post?” he whispered next to her ear.

 

“Mmmm, don’t remind me," she mumbled.

 

Scott smiled and pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "I think it's time to get up and—” Scott paused as he felt something move against him. "T, is she moving or is that my hungry stomach twitching?”

 

Tessa laughed softly. “She’s moving. She usually moves when she hears your voice."

 

*

 

“I’m so sorry, Jackie, I totally thought the cocktails started at 6pm, not 5pm,” Cara apologized as they two women walked quickly from the parkade to the banquet hall in the Convention Centre.

 

“It’s fine, we’ll be just in time for the evening to start. We can slip in and I’ll surprise Scott after the dinner is done.”

 

They arrived as the guests were sitting down at their tables. They found their way to their seats and got settled just as the appetizers were being brought out. Jackie noticed Tessa and Scott were seated together near the front, but on the opposite side of the room from where she and Cara were sitting. She would definitely have to wait until a break in the dinner to talk to Scott.

 

“Do you see that?” Cara asked as she nudged Jackie with her elbow.

 

“See what?” Jackie whispered back as she started eating her salad.

 

“He keeps rubbing his hands on Tessa’s back and stomach.”

 

Jackie shrugged. “He’s a handsy kind of guy. I don’t let it bother me. He sleeps in my bed at night.”

 

*

 

Jackie fidgeted in her seat next to Cara. They had just finished dinner and she was itching to go over and see Scott. She was about to stand up to make her move when Tessa and Scott were called up on the stage to give a speech.

 

Jackie groaned and slumped back in her chair, grabbing her wine glass. She would have to drown her bad luck for now.

 

Scott was about half way through the beginning part of his speech when he looked out at the audience and saw a very familiar face that he wasn't expecting. _Jackie? What the hell is she doing here?_

 

His train of thought had been completely thrown off by seeing his girlfriend. Tessa squeezed Scott’s wrist quickly with her fingers and then picked up where he dropped off and hoped no one noticed the lengthy pause. She thought maybe his lack of recent public speaking events had made him nervous.

 

As they were walking off the stage, Tessa hissed at Scott through a plastered smile. "What was that?"

 

"Jackie’s here! With Cara!" he hissed back through his smile as he put his hand on Tessa's lower back to guide her and ground himself. He was very shaken and sweating from Jackie’s unexpectedly appearance.

 

Tessa turned her head around to quickly scan the room but couldn't see them. "Are you sure?"

 

"Positive. Back corner by the door. I'll go over during the break," he whispered in her ear as they sat back down at their table.

 

*

 

“Jackie! What a surprise! I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight. I thought you had to work?” Scott exclaimed as he pulled Jackie in for a hug.

 

“I did, but Cara convinced me to fly up for some girl time. Also, I missed you," she murmured in his ear before she pressed a kiss to Scott's lips.

 

"I missed you too."

 

"Alma said you were not staying with them, so I assumed you were in a hotel. So where exactly have you been staying?"

 

Scott rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "Well, I was in a hotel, technically."

 

"What does that mean? _Technically?"_

 

Scott sighed. He was caught and now had to offer at least a partial truth.

 

"I went out to Toronto for a few nights and just got back. I had some thinking to do and I—”

 

"Well why didn’t you just say so to begin with? So where are you staying tonight?”

 

Scott opened his mouth to offer something, _anything_ , but he was saved from spinning more lies by Tessa who had come up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder, smiling sweetly at Jackie.

 

"Jackie! So nice you could make it out to such a worthy cause! Scott, we're needed back up on stage right away."

 

*

 

As they were walking off the stage, Scott grabbed onto Tessa’s elbow and led her out of the room and down the hallway. He needed to talk to her and figure out what he was going to do. She had always been good at getting the two of them out of sticky situations.

 

“Jackie wants to know where I’m staying tonight,” Scott hissed low and panicked.

 

“Shit,” Tessa swore under her breath as her eyes went wide. They were caught in their little sleepover shenanigans and had to bring it to a full stop.

 

All of Scott’s things were at Tessa’s, strewn about her bedroom and bathroom. He had expected he would have two more nights there before flying back to Florida where Jackie was supposed to be. Her surprise visit to London certainly was a... _surprise_.

 

Tessa thought for a moment and then snapped her fingers. "The Delta on Dundas, just around the corner. Use the app on your phone and book a room. I’ll feign exhaustion and duck out early from the event, go home and pack up your stuff and drop off your bag at the hotel’s front desk for you. But you’ll have to stall off here as long as you can. I’ll text you when the coast is clear.”

 

Scott placed his hands on either side of Tessa’s head and planted a dramatic kiss on her forehead. “This is why I love you, T.”

 

Tessa blushed and was at a loss for words. They both knew they would do anything to help the other, even if it was the worst-case scenario such as burying a dead body or escaping from prison. They had each other’s backs, regardless of the situation.

 

“I’m sorry,” Scott apologized. “I know you wanted me to stay with you.”

 

“No, don’t worry about me. She's your girlfriend and we were probably not really being appropriate anyways, _even for us_.”

 

“Tess—”

 

“Honestly, Scott. I’ll be fine. You should get back before they send out a search party. I’m just going to use the washroom and then I’ll join you back at the table. Okay?”

 

Scott knelt down in front of Tessa and put his hands over her belly. He pressed several small kisses to the middle and then whispered something that Tessa couldn't hear, but she assumed it was something sweet and a goodbye because she figured Jackie now had full control of the rest of Scott's time in London and it wouldn’t involve hanging out around Tessa and the baby.

 

 

**May 7, 2019**

**Tampa Airport**

 

Scott spent all of April splitting his time between Tampa and London. When Jackie was working her week of shifts, he would fly back to London to spend time with Tessa and his family. Everyone seemed to be okay with this arrangement, except Scott. He was literally pulled in two separate directions and felt as though he was living a double life. Not to mention the constant travel was beginning to annoy him.

 

Living at his parents’ every other week was also getting under his skin. Tessa had told Scott it was best he not stay over at her place anymore, Jackie's surprise visit had unfortunately forced Tessa to take a few steps back in their relationship.

 

Scott decided he needed to focus on getting his house finished and make it at least livable so he had a place of his own to crash at. But, that would have to wait until after their two Great Kitchen Party trips.

 

He was deep in thought about being reunited with Tessa and his daughter when Jackie's voice yanked him back to the present.

 

"This is going to be so much fun! I can't wait for you to see the bikinis I brought with for the beach!" Jackie whispered to Scott as they settled into their seats on the airplane. They were flying first to Toronto to meet up with Tessa, before continuing on to Mallorca together. Scott had insisted that Tessa not fly the long distance alone and Jackie reluctantly agreed and had their flights changed to match Tessa’s through Toronto.

 

Scott had tuned Jackie back out. At the word bikini, his mind had gone straight to thinking about how Tessa would look in a bikini with her round little belly and how this would be the first vacation for the three of them; Tessa, Scott and their baby.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Mallorca shenanigans!
> 
> What was your favourite part of this chapter?


	7. Mallorca

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Join us for a week of fun in sunny Mallorca...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical guests include: Jim Cuddy, Barney Bentall, Bill Henderson, Anne Lindsay, Devin Cuddy and Sam Polley
> 
> Song lyrics in italics, sorry I went a little nuts lol. So many good songs to choose from. This trip is going to be a great musical event, so jealous!

 

**May 7, 2019**

**Toronto International Airport**

 

Scott paced just inside the entrance to the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge. They had about half an hour until boarding and Tessa still hadn’t arrived or answered his text messages about meeting up with him, but he had seen on the arrivals board that her flight from London had landed.

 

Finally he saw her walk through the door, pulling her carry-on suitcase behind her with one hand and a holding a Starbucks cup in the other.

 

"T!" Scott shouted as he ran over to her and pulled her in for a hug. "You made it!"

 

"Wouldn't miss it," she smiled as she stepped back from his embrace. She felt his hands on her belly and then watched him get down on both knees and press a kiss there, meant for the baby of course, but it still did things to her that she sort of wished it didn’t because he was with someone else.

 

"Hi baby,” she heard him say softly and then his voice became lower and she couldn’t quite make out the conversation he was having but she felt warm all over from the love he had for their unborn child.

 

Tessa absentmindedly ran her fingers through Scott's hair as he talked to their daughter. When he was finally rewarded with movement from the baby, Scott grinned as he repositioned his hands to the location of the kicking.

 

"I brought the clothes you wanted from your parents’," Tessa said as Scott stood up.

 

"Thanks, T.”

 

"Where's Jackie?" Tessa asked as she looked around the busy lounge.

 

“She’s sitting in the far back corner with our stuff. She said I was too fidgety so she told me to walk around to burn off some energy.”

 

“What’s wrong?” she sighed as she looked him up and down.

 

“Just a little keyed up,” he admitted as he rocked back and forth on his feet and scratched his fingers on his scalp.

 

“Mmm,” Tessa hummed, knowing it was likely because he would have both her and Jackie in the same location with him for a whole week. He was going to feel he had to divide up his time between the two women _and_ the guests and he was going to be stressed out. _This is going to be Scotland all over again_ , Tessa sighed to herself as she followed Scott to where Jackie was sitting.

 

Jackie had headphones on and waved to Tessa as she sat down on the chair across from her, but Jackie didn’t attempt to strike up a conversation, which Tessa was thankful for. Scott stood next to his chair but didn’t sit. He continued to bounce nervously on his feet.

 

*

 

Tessa returned to her seat from changing into her pajamas for the flight and settled into her pod. She was next to the window; Scott was across the aisle from her and Jackie on the other side of him. She sighed softly as she ran through the travel schedule in her head: hot towel, meal, sleep, light meal, arrival in Frankfurt, layover, short flight to Palma de Mallorca.

 

She sort of wished she could take some sleeping pills for the seven and a half hour flight between Toronto and Frankfurt. She was thankful they had booked Signature Class and that she could at least fully recline her seat and attempt to sleep for the bulk of the flight.

 

*

 

Tessa was just about to start eating her dessert when out of the corner of her eye she saw an arm extending towards her. She turned to look and watched Scott slide his dessert onto her tablecloth-covered tray.

 

“For the baby?” he asked sheepishly.

 

“You don’t like it, do you?”

 

“Not really my thing, no.”

 

Tessa smiled and gladly accepted his brown sugar tart. She had enjoyed hers and wished it had been larger. “Do you want my?” she asked, pointing to the cup of vanilla ice cream on her table.

 

“No, you go ahead,” he grinned.

 

*

 

When Tessa returned from the washroom, she found her seat had been reclined and laid out with two mattress pads, her pillow and blanket ready to go. She looked over at Scott with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged and tried to stifle a smile as he turned back to watching his movie, pretending he hadn’t just gotten her bed ready for her nap.

 

“Don’t you want your mattress?” she asked, pointing at her seat.

 

“You take it. For the baby.”

 

Tessa smiled and rolled her eyes. She settled into her pod and closed her eyes. It didn’t take long before she eventually succumbed to sleep, listening to the white noise of the airplane’s engines.

 

 

**May 8, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

Their taxi pulled up in front of the five-star Castillo Hotel Son Vida, located high above Palma de Mallorca, in the thirteenth century estate of Son Vida. With two pools, a full-service spa, golf courses, a health club, and award-winning restaurants and bars, Tessa knew she was going to _try_ to have a wonderful time, despite the company she was travelling with. She was sure she could make herself scarce enough over the next week that her interactions with Jackie would be limited. She was first out of the taxi and snatched up her luggage before Scott could help. She would be fine on her own; he had Jackie he could hover over.

 

After checking into her room, Tessa indulged in a bubble bath to freshen up after the long flight and then ordered room service for dinner. She sat out on her balcony alone with her meal, soaking up the last rays of the sun before it disappeared for the night.

 

 

**May 9, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

Tessa walked down to the pool, tote bag in hand. She had on an oversized sunhat and dark sunglasses, a bright red bikini with a black cover-up over top. She stopped and closed her eyes for a moment when she saw Scott and Jackie already sitting on two pool-side lounge chairs. She contemplated quickly on if she should turn around and hightail it to the other pool or some other part of the resort when Scott saw her and waved her over.

 

“Fuck me,” she grumbled to herself as she plastered a smile on her face and marched over.

 

“Virtch! Nice of you to join us!” Scott cheered as he patted the empty lounge chair beside him.

 

 _How is it not busy here? Why is there a free seat next to Scott of all things? How did I time it so that they would be here at this pool at the exact time as me?_ she wondered to herself as she sat down and pulled her cover-up closer around her body.

 

“You’re going to overheat with that thing on, T,” Scott smirked as he playfully tugged on the bottom of her black cover-up.

 

He had a point. It was already 31C and only early-afternoon, but she did appreciate the heat wave, as the average temperature was usually in the low 20s. _Why did I think black would be a good idea anyways?_

 

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

 

“Did you put on sunscreen?” he asked her.

 

“Of course, heavily applied a half hour before leaving the room. Did _you?”_

 

“Yes, I’ve been following your instructions the past few months regarding sun protection,” Scott said as he pulled out a tube of sunscreen from his bag; the same brand Tessa had been using for the last several years. So he _had_ been listening to her nagging.

 

“Scott, let’s go for a swim,” Jackie instructed as she got up from her chair and adjusted her skimpy bikini before doing a cannonball into the pool. She was already tired of listening to Scott dote on Tessa.

 

Tessa watched Scott watching Jackie and tried to keep the bile from rising any further than it just had in the back of her throat.

 

Scott turned to look at Tessa and saw her face. He could tell she was uncomfortable having Jackie around and he did feel guilty about that.

 

“T? You wanna join us?” he asked as he put his hand on her thigh, giving it a little pat.

 

“I think I’ll just hang back here for a bit.”

 

“ _Tess—”_

 

Tessa looked down at the small bump under her cover-up. She had felt more confident about hanging out in her bikini when she thought no one she knew would be at the pool. Now with Scott and Jackie watching, especially Jackie, she felt self-conscious of her changing body being on full display. She no longer looked in _Olympic shape_ and her sculpted abs had been replaced by a rounded, freckled bump.

 

“No, I think I’ll just stay—”

 

Scott leaned in close to her ear. “No one’s gonna care what you look like, Tess. It’s a fucking pool. You’re still the hottest woman here by a long shot and you know it. Take off the God damned cover-up and get in the water.”

 

Tessa was taken aback by Scott’s words; he was rarely so forceful with her, especially off the ice and she was surprised that Scott would admit to her that she was better-looking than his girlfriend. After a moment of careful consideration, she did as he said…because he _was_ right. She stood up, removed her cover-up and laid it over the back of her chair. She was pretty sure she heard Scott grunt and mutter something under his breath as she stood next to her lounge chair. She looked over at him and saw his eyes were blown wide and roaming over her bikini-clad body.

 

“ _Jesus_ , Tessa,” she heard him say as he raked his fingers through his hair.

 

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Problem? You told me to take it off.”

 

Scott stood up and adjusted his swim trunks, willing away the problem that was starting because he did still want her _that_ way. “You look amazing and don’t you ever doubt that for a second,” he whispered in her ear.

 

Tessa felt herself flush from the compliment but she was sure it wasn’t noticeable in the afternoon sun.

 

“Scott! Are you getting in or what?” Jackie yelled from the other side of the pool.

 

“Yeah be right there!” Scott shouted back and then turned to look at Tessa once more. He put one hand on her belly and smiled. “You’re incredibly amazing and more gorgeous than ever. Now, come cool down in the pool.”

 

 

**May 10, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

Last night there had been a cocktail reception to welcome everyone and officially kick off the week. Tessa had spent the entire time mingling with the tour guests, all while avoiding Scott and Jackie. She didn’t even know why Jackie was with them on this trip, really. No one knew who she was; at least in Scotland Kaitlyn was an Olympic athlete in her own right.

As Tessa returned her focus back to enjoying her late breakfast, she watched as most of the guests headed out of the dining room to meet in the lobby for their cycling tour. She didn’t feel comfortable doing that while pregnant, and Scott had also insisted that she hang back at the hotel and join the walking tour later in the morning. He was in overprotective mode, knowing this trip would be full of strenuous activities that were maybe not quite practical for Tessa, being that she was seven months pregnant.

 

*

 

Tessa did enjoy the cultural tour of Palma, including visiting the thirteenth century Santa Maria Cathedral with the tour guests. The group later had a tapas dinner tour with Jonathan Lerner, a local food and cultural expert.

 

She didn’t see Scott or Jackie until after dinner, when many of the guests were gathering in the hotel bar. Jim Cuddy and his sons Devin and Sam were setting up to sing a few songs over drinks. Tessa sat down at a table with an older couple and chatted with them while waiting for the music to begin.

 

“Good evening everyone,” Jim announced into his microphone.

 

The bar fell to a hush and then the crowd answered back in a chorus of good evenings and hellos.

 

“Tonight my sons and I have a couple of songs for you. I hope you enjoyed another fun day in Mallorca. The weather has been just beautiful and while I don’t want to jinx it and call for rain, we’re going to start off with a song titled Rain Down on Me.”

 

 _Well you never need forgiveness_  
_left home at seventeen_  
_raised up on hate_  
_to a life that's second rate_

 

Scott and Jackie sat down together at a table on the other side of the bar from where Tessa was, each holding a wine glass.

_too much a child_  
_Confident and wild..._  
_nobody taught you how to live_  
_what to keep and what to give_

_Oh now she talks to strangers_  
_who bring her flowers for her hair_  
_but every night you count on me_  
_to get you out the door_  
_Oh then you smile and watch me lose control_

 

Tessa looked up from the drink she was holding in her hand, wishing it was wine or anything stronger than a club soda mixed with cranberry juice. She glanced around the bar hoping Scott had made it, knowing how he enjoyed live music. She saw him across the room, but he was talking to Jackie and didn’t see her. Aside from the pool the day before, they hadn’t spent much time together. He was always with _her_ and Tessa _had_ tried to avoid all awkward interactions with Jackie.

 

 _but every night you count on me_  
_to peel you off the wall_  
_Oh then you smile and watch me lose control_

_Rain on me_  
_oh rain down on me_  
_oh rain down on me_

  
_I used to think I knew_  
_what I was fighting for_  
_Oh I don't think that anymore_

 

Tessa nodded along to the lyrics. She truly didn’t know what she was fighting for anymore.

 

Scott looked around the bar, wondering if Tessa had made it back from her walking excursion that afternoon. He spotted her sitting with Neil and Donna, a couple he had chatted with the previous night. _At least she’s in good company_ , he thought to himself as he took a drink of his wine and wished Tessa was sitting a little closer to him.

 

“Next up is Lost Together, hopefully none of you get lost tonight after a few rounds of drinks. Barney, I’m looking at you old friend,” Jim chuckled as he began strumming his guitar.

 

 _Strange and beautiful_  
_Are the stars tonight_  
_That dance around your head_  
_In your eyes I see that perfect world_  
_I hope that doesn't sound too weird_

_And I want all the world to know_  
_That your love's all I need_  
_All that I need_  
_And if we're lost_  
_Then we are lost together_  
_Yea if we're lost_  
_Then we are lost together_

 

Scott glanced over at Tessa but she didn’t turn to make eye contact with him.

 

_Somehow it all makes sense_

_And I want all the world to know_  
_That your love's all I need_

 

He wished Tessa knew that her love was all he needed and that he did want the world to know. _Tess, look at me,_ he tried to telepathically get her attention but failed.

 

“Last song for tonight, Till I am Myself Again. I have a little backstory on this one for you. This song was written in that period of time where we started to feel very stretched. That we were…there were just too many nights of putting your head down in a hotel and having no real idea where you were or waking up and wondering, you know, did you have to get up, did you have to get on the bus and…ah, specifically written, um, with somebody’s alcoholism in mind and the idea that, I mean, if anybody’s ever known anybody addicted…they…if they have come to the awareness that they want to get over their addiction, that’s one step. But, they usually say they can’t do it right now because…I have this tension in my life. Or I have this…stuff that’s stressing me out so I have to…I have to…I will do it in the new year or I’ll do it then. So, that’s sort of what Till I am Myself is all about*.” Jim turned around and yelled, “hit it” to his sons and Devin began playing the piano and Sam strummed his guitar.

 

 _I want to know where_  
_my confidence went_  
_one day it all disappeared_  
_and I'm lying in a hotel room miles away_

_voices next door in my ear_

_Daytime's a drag_  
_night time's worse_  
_hope that I can get home soon_  
_but the half-finished bottles of inspiration_  
_lie like ghosts in my room_

 

Scott was thinking about the story Jim had given. He connected with that, at least the part about too many nights of sleeping in hotel rooms and not knowing what the schedule was. He really was over that. Just this one last tour in the fall to push through and then _that_ life would be mainly behind him…and them.

 

 ~~~~  
_I feel like a stranger_  
_from another world_  
_but at least I'm living again_

_There are nights_  
_full of anger_  
_words that are thrown_  
_tempers that are shattered and thin_  
_but the moments of magic_  
_are just too short_  
_they're over before they begin_

 

Tessa sighed as she glanced over at Scott. He was tapping his foot in time to the music and seemed to be deep in thought.

 ~~~~  
  
_when I look in the mirror_  
_sometimes I see_  
_traces of some other guy_

_I wanna go_  
_I know I can't stay_  
_but I don't want to run_  
_feeling this way_  
_til I am myself_  
_til I am myself_  
_til I am myself again_

Scott quickly brushed away the tears from his eyes. _Yeah, I’m that guy looking in the mirror and seeing some other guy_ , he thought to himself. The lyrics were hitting him tonight. He looked towards Tessa, and finally caught her looking back at him. He offered her a forced smile and she held up her half-full glass in a toast to the night.

 

 

**May 13, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

The next few days flew by. Scott and Jackie accompanied some of the tour guests on hiking trips in the Tramuntana Mountains, and other guests in a few rounds of golf and winery tours. Tessa stuck to the walking tours and shopping and spent some time chatting in great lengths with several of the guests and musicians.

 

At the Bodega Castell Miquel Winery, Tessa and Scott gave their come-back journey speech and answered some questions from the guests. Thankfully most had already met Jackie and knew that Tessa and Scott were not dating, and that Tessa was pregnant, so none of those questions were asked. No one had been bold enough to ask who the father was of the baby or why Tessa hadn’t brought him along on the trip. Tessa felt a sense of relief after their mandatory obligations were over. She had been dreading their talk more than hanging out around Jackie.

 

Later that night, most of the guests had once again gathered in the hotel bar for more songs from the musical guests.

 

“Well, tonight is our fifth night here, so we figured Five Days in May would be an appropriate choice,” Jim said into the microphone as his sons Sam and Devin joined him again up on stage, along with Anne carrying her violin.

 

_They met in a hurricane_

_Standing in the shelter out of the rain_

_She tucked a note into his hand_

 

Scott watched Anne tapping her hand on her leg along to the music and wondered if she was going to play her violin tonight. He had heard her play the other night and was quite impressed with her talent.

 

_Somehow they stayed that way_

_For those five days in May_

_Made all the stars around them shine_

_Funny how you can look in vain_

_Living on nerves and such sweet pain_

_A loneliness that cuts so fine_

_To find the face you've seen a thousand times_

_Sometimes the world begins_

_To set you up on your feet again_

_It wipes the tears from your eyes_

 

Tessa looked over at Scott. He was sitting with two older ladies tonight and Jackie was behind him. In typical Scott fashion, he had his arms around the women, which made Tessa smile. He was always so good at making others feel welcome and included. She was brought out of her thoughts by Anne’s solo in the middle of the song, an incredible performance on the violin, which brought the entire crowd of people to their feet as they burst into a standing ovation.

 

_But I know my past_

_You were there_

_In everything I've done_

_You are the one_

 

Tessa looked over at Scott, those last few lines hit a little too close to home for both of them. He caught her looking at him and he nodded. He knew what she was thinking but could she ever act upon knowing that he was her _one_.

 

 

**May 15, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

Their last night in Mallorca arrived far too fast. The week ended in style with a grand barbeque in the lower gardens of the vast property, followed by an unforgettable private concert under the stars by all of the Canadian musicians that they had heard from that week. 

 

First up was Jim Cuddy on guitar and Barney Bentall on piano as they sung their duet, Won’t Change the World.

 

_I’m gonna write the song for you_

 

Tessa looked to her left, Scott was sitting beside her tonight and Jackie on the other side. During the week’s evening performances they had inched their way closer and closer, just like how they had a magnetic pull towards each other on the ice. She smiled as they listened to the music.

_Just verses and chorus_

_And one or two solos at most_

_Won’t need to be stellar_

_It will help if it’s good_

_Take it where it wants to go_

_Not where I think it should_

_And if it don’t work out_

 

Tessa turned to look at Scott and he winked at her. She didn’t know what the wink meant, and maybe it meant nothing at all, but she knew her thinking was cloudy sitting so close to him.

 

_Won’t change the world_

_Won’t make you love me more_

_Just gotta keep you_

_From walking on out of that door_

 

Scott nodded. He just had to keep Tessa from walking out of the door. He had to make sure she stayed close emotionally, he thought to himself as he put his arm around the back of her chair.

 

_Won’t change the world ~~~~_

_Won’t make you love me more_

_Just gotta keep you from walking on out of that door_

_So a song and a dance about all I got_

_Except for the smoke and the mirrors and a birthday or two I forgot_

_So if you will listen_

_Play it for you sweet_

_Wrap it up in a big old ball and lay it there and lay it there at your feet_

He turned to look at her again and raised an eyebrow. She saw from the corner of her eye but was more concerned about his arm around the back of her chair and his thumb that was rubbing up and down the side of her bare arm.

_It’s just gotta keep you_

_From walking on out of that door_

_Walking on out of that door_

 

Tessa shifted in her chair a little so she wouldn’t have to feel his touch as Bill Henderson from the band Chilliwack made his way up on stage. He sang Fly at Night and all Tessa could think about was how close Scott was to her and how turned on she was and she really wanted to curl up against him and have him hold her tight. She looked over at Scott again and caught Jackie glaring at her. Tessa sat up straighter and tried to shake off the jumble of feelings she had raging in her body.

 

Jim made his way back to the microphone and announced that next he would sing the song Constellations, and Anne would accompany him on violin.

 

_Up here it's quiet in the mornin'_

_Just the whisper of the wind._

_You and me lookin' out across the water_

_Makin' plans to come again_

 

Tessa squirmed in her seat. The air felt thick and heavy around her but she was pretty sure it had to do with Scott sitting so close and not the actual air temperature.

 

_And I'm running all the things that we went through._

_I'd like to know what you want me to do._

_Know I'm waitin' for a sign from you._

 

Scott heard Tessa sigh softly and he hoped she knew that he was waiting for a sign from her. He put his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed his fingers once down the side of it to feel her pulse before pulling away.

 

_And I just don't know what to do with this sorrow_

_I really don't know much at all._

_Life is busy now, we're back in the city._

_It's all been normal for awhile._

_But I miss so much, like the sound of your laughter_

_The little question in your smile._

 

Scott missed Tessa’s laughter so much. He missed everything about her and wished he could spend more time with her.

 

_And I'll remember everything that we went through._

 

Scott moved his hand back to Tessa’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. They had been through so much together.

 

_And I'm staring at the sky so dark and blue._

_I'd like to know what you want me to do._

_You know I'm waitin' for a sign from you._

 

He hoped she was really listening to the words Jim was singing. He wanted her to make the next move.

 

“One last set of the night, folks,” Jim announced into the microphone as Anne stepped down from the stage. “Just me up here to send you off with Pull Me Through.”

 

_There's papers scattered on the lawn_

_Birds up on the line_

_There's letters left unopened here_

_There never is the time_

_There's messages I should return_

_And people I should call_

_I'm still tripping over echoes_

_Left lying in the hall_

_There's a light that comes through the darkness_

_Slowly to my eyes_

_You can fall back here forever_

_I just never realized_

_Oh time won't let me go_

_And every night I know_

_That you could pull me through_

_You could always pull me through_

_Even when I'm lying here_

_Drowning in my blues_

_You take the sting out of the rain_

_And bring the sun back up again_

_And you could always pull me through_

_Oh we stood outside together_

_And we laughed like ancient friends_

 

Tessa couldn’t listen in agony any longer. During the Olympics in PyeongChang, CBC had made them watch a montage to that song and then filmed them watching it. Scott had openly cried and Tessa, well, she had to pull on her media mask because while she wanted to crawl into a hole and have a full on ugly cry, she couldn’t do that with a camera shoved in her face and the world watching.

 

The song took her right back to that moment and her hormones were raging from a full night’s assault of lyrical attacks and Scott’s presence in her personal space. She had to flee. She had to find that hole and let herself cry the tears she was holding inside. She stood up and quickly left the garden.

 

Scott excused himself to Jackie, telling her he would be right back and then he left to chase after Tessa, following her down the path and away from the concert.

 

"Tessa! Wait!" Scott shouted as he saw her turn the corner of the garden path, back towards the main hotel.

 

Tessa walked faster. She had to get out of there, away from the Jim’s voice and the lyrics that were following her through the garden, and away from Scott before she lost her composure in public.

 

“Tess! Please!” he shouted again as he got closer.

 

Tessa stopped, closed her eyes, and listened to the sound of his footsteps crunching on the gravel walkway as he got closer. And closer. When he stopped behind her and put his hand on her shoulder she shuddered at his touch.

 

“Tess—”

 

She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. He could see she was close to tears as he put his hand on her cheek.

 

“Scott—”

 

“Why are you running, T? What’s wrong?”

 

She shook her head. She couldn’t put into words how she felt. It was bigger than her, heavier than she wanted it to be.

 

“That song, all the songs tonight, really. I know they spoke to you like they did to me,” he said quietly to her.

 

Tessa nodded as she pulled away from Scott, she was begin dragged into his orbit and she needed her own space to think and breathe, or she knew she would cave.

 

“You’re what I want Tess, and you just need to stop pushing me away. I know you still want me…you still want _us_. Stop denying it. You don’t have to be scared, you—”

 

Tessa’s lips on his stopped him from speaking further; she had surged forward and ignored her head for just a moment and listened to her heart. She poured every last ounce of everything she had into that kiss. It needed to speak for her because she was scared if she started to talk the words would come out wrong or she would start crying and she just wanted to finally make this right between them.

 

She threaded her fingers through his hair as his hands landed on her hips and tugged her closer towards him.

 

“Come to my room,” she breathed out against his lips.

 

He nipped his teeth on her lower lip and kissed her passionately as his reply.

 

She pushed him away and started walking back towards the hotel. He stood in place just long enough to take two cleansing breaths in disbelief, forgetting all about his girlfriend that he had left sitting alone at the concert. He jogged after Tessa; she walked fast when she was on a mission.

 

She tapped her key card against the lock and pushed the door open, a blast of cold from the air conditioning hit them like a wall, but it did not put a chill on their mood. Tessa’s hormones were wilding out and it had been far too long since she had last had sex. She had kicked off her sandals and was pulling her sundress off over her head before Scott had even closed the door to the room.

 

He turned around and his mouth dropped open as she stood at the foot of the bed wearing only a lavender lace thong, her dress on the floor next to her feet.

 

“Bed. Now,” she insisted as she pointed to the bed and began rummaging through her purse, fingers landing on the item she needed.

 

Scott quickly removed his clothes and pulled back the duvet to get in. His body had barely made contact with the mattress and she was climbing on top of him, straddling his legs with her own.

 

“I just need relief, Scott. Fast and no talking,” she instructed as placed a foil packet on his chest. “Don’t forget this time,” she glared at him. She had no idea if he had picked up anything from Jackie or whoever else he may have been with lately, and she did not want to risk contracting anything while pregnant. ~~~~

*

 

With her body finally relaxed and sated, she wanted to collapse down against his chest, but she rolled off to the side of him instead because her belly was in the way.

 

Scott was panting and had a bewildered grin on his face. He knew they shouldn’t have led with that, but he had a weakness when it came to saying no to Tessa. Now they _really_ needed to talk but all he could manage was a grunt as he got off the bed and went to dispose of the condom. He returned and got under the blanket because it was cold in the room and post-sex snuggling with Tessa was his favourite. He sighed as he looked over at Tessa with a grin. “Tess that was—”

 

“No. Don’t. Please just—” she stopped mid-sentence, she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Her whole body shook as she sobbed, her hands covering her face, shielding herself from Scott as he watched her breakdown.

 

“Oh my God, Tess! What? Did I hurt you or the baby?”

 

“No!” she cried out in frustration.

 

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her naked body against his. With her face pressed into his chest, she finally felt safe to release the emotions that she had packed away from the last several months and especially the past week. It had all been so much. _Too_ much.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, sweetie, just let it out. I’m here, I’ll never let you fall. I’ve got you.”

 

“I love you,” she finally got out between sobs.

 

“I love you too, T.”

 

“I do want us but I’m scared—”

 

“It’s okay to be scared,” he rubbed his hand up and down her back, trying to sooth her.

 

“No, you don’t get it. We won’t keep getting more chances. If we mess this up—”

 

“Shhh, Tess, how could we make this messier than it already is. Our lives have always been complicated.

 

“That’s not what I meant. If _I_ don’t do this right—”

 

“I’ll still love you. If we start to go in the wrong direction then we just adjust. I _know_ we can do this and it doesn’t have to be perfect, Tess. We just have to try our best.”

 

“And if my best isn’t good enough for you?”

 

“It is! Don’t you get that? You _are_ good enough just the way you are. You don’t _have_ to try so hard. It’s okay to fail, just know you won’t be alone. I’ll be there by your side, T.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

 

Tessa was quiet as she wiped away her tears with her fingers. “You should go,” she said quietly.

 

“What?” he gasped and pulled back to look at her.

 

“I said you should go. We shouldn’t have had sex; it was my hormones and a lapse in judgment. I need time to figure this out for myself, Scott. You can’t stay here, you have Jackie—”

 

“Tessa! You're what I want! I just want you and you know that,” Scott cried out. He was feeling a mixture of emotions, mostly hurt and confusion.

 

“You should go be with your girlfriend. Please. Just go.”

 

 

**May 16, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

Scott sat alone at a corner table in the dining room, an assortment of heavy and fat-laden breakfast items on the plate in front of him as he tried to sop up his hangover. He was mindlessly chewing on a strip of bacon as Jackie sat down beside him.

 

“There you are,” Jackie huffed. “Where the hell did you go last night? You left me alone at the barbeque to fend off questions about where you disappeared to and then when Tessa came back to the party, she didn’t know either where you were.”

 

“Tessa went back?” he asked as he dropped his bacon onto his plate in shock.

 

“Yes, she and Anne and a handful of guests were still chatting when I finally gave up waiting for you. Obviously you didn’t come back to our room, you’re wearing the same clothes as last night and you look like shit.”

 

“Fuck,” Scott swore and then put his head in his hands.

 

“And you reek of whiskey. Were you in the bar all night, Scott?”

 

“Something like that. I can’t believe Tessa went back,” he mumbled into his hands. He had spent the majority of the night drinking until the bar tender cut him off in the early morning hours.

 

“You know what, I think we’re done talking for right now,” Jackie hissed as she grabbed the croissant off of Scott’s plate and shoved back her chair. She took a bite as she stomped off. She knew he was heavily hungover and yet his only concern was regarding Tessa.

 

Scott let himself into their hotel room to find Jackie angrily shoving things into her suitcase. Their flight was in a few hours; he hadn’t even started packing, he was going to do that last night.

 

“Please, Jax, let me explain.”

 

“Just go to Tessa if you want her. I don’t want to be around you like this.”

 

“Tessa doesn’t want me…and now you don’t either?” Tears pricked his eyes, _no one_ wanted him.

 

“It's not that I don’t want you, Scott it’s just that I want _all_ of you, not just leftovers of whatever you are not giving to Tessa and the baby. Do you get that? You are not one hundred percent all in for _anyone_ right now and you _need_ to choose. You can’t keep up with this. None of us should have to.”

 

“I slept with her,” he admitted, straight-faced and expressionless. Being honest was all he had left to offer Jackie.

 

“I know, and you're having a baby as a result of that,” Jackie sighed as she threw more clothes into her suitcase and zipped it shut.

 

“No,” he said quietly as he scratched his fingers through his hair. “I meant last night.”

 

“Oh my God, Scott! Are you fucking kidding me?!”

 

“I’m sorry it—”

 

“Stop. Just save. I’m not going to repeat myself. You need to choose. For fucks sake, just make a God damned decision like a grown ass man and stick to it. You know where to find me when you're ready to let me know.”

 

Jackie grabbed her jacket and suitcase and stormed out of the room, leaving Scott standing alone and very confused with what he should do.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The backstory Jim Cuddy gave for Till I Am Myself was transcribed from this interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfKpwhoYMkg
> 
> All lyrics from the songs used were shortened for this fic, full listing of songs is as follows:
> 
> Rain Down on Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E2leOMxObE  
> Lost Together https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBvLrHXykB4  
> Till I Am Myself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfKpwhoYMkg  
> Five Days in May https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hauYoU2rlY8  
> Won’t Change the World https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--_oDnArF6c  
> Fly at Night https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g7-mKjjIpY  
> Constellations https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klnLZihEass  
> Pull Me Through CBC Montage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T_dqPeAZKg
> 
> Well that was...messy😬  
> So…Jackie is on her way back home to Florida and Scott…he was supposed to fly with her to Toronto and then spend some time at home before travelling onto Newfoundland for the second Great Kitchen Party. Will he go home? Will he find Tessa and attempt to talk to her?


	8. London (no, not that one, the other one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Mallorca? Where do Tessa and Scott take things from here?

 

**May 16, 2019**

**Mallorca**

 

Tessa made her way down to the hotel dining room for breakfast. She was running a bit behind schedule, having slept in after a rough night. She had trouble turning off her thoughts, a lot happened last night and she _knew_ she needed to talk to Scott.

 

The elevator doors opened and she stepped out into the lobby to find Scott sitting there on a bench. _Alone_. She frowned knowing he had an early flight out and should have been at the airport ages ago.

 

"Scott?" she called out to him softly as she approached him. He was still wearing the clothes from the night before and looked terrible as he stared down at his feet.

 

He turned to look up at her, his face void of emotion but his eyes red and puffy from crying.

 

"Don't you and Jackie have a flight to catch?"

 

"Yup," he responded coolly, his lips popping on the P sound.

 

"So...shouldn't you be at the airport?"

 

Scott shrugged. "Jackie is flying home alone. I don't know what I'm doing or where I belong. I've fucked up everything so badly right now and I'm not wanted by anyone."

 

"That's not true," she said as she sat down beside him on the bench.

 

"Yes, it is. You don't want me and neither does she. Neither of you deserve my half-assing. I should have just left her when I found out you were pregnant but I was selfish. I didn't want to be alone...I _can't_ be alone. I want you but you don't want me."

 

"That's not completely true. I told you I need time—”

 

"Can we not do this here, Tess? I know you want time and space and you want to think about us, but I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever get our timing right and if we're just not _meant_ to be together that way. Maybe we're better off as just friends." Scott stood up and jammed his fist against the elevator button. He had to pack and check out of his room and then figure out where he was going since he was going to miss the flight that he had a ticket for.

 

"No," she said firmly.

 

He turned around to look at her. "No what?" he asked.

 

"No. I don't want to be _just_ friends. We need to talk."

 

The elevator door opened.

 

"I need to pack, Tess," Scott sighed as he stepped into the elevator.

 

Tessa stood up and followed him into the elevator. Scott pressed the button to hold the door open.

 

"Tess, please. You should go—”

 

"No. We need to talk. Like real adults. With words and not with sex. My flight to Heathrow leaves in four hours. I won't leave you here in Mallorca like _this_...all alone...come with me. Decide when you get there where you want to go next. I'll be down in the lobby in half an hour." She stepped out of the elevator again and carried on towards the dining room for her breakfast.

 

Scott let go of the button and rode the elevator up to his room. He hastily packed his belongings into his suitcase and made his way back downstairs to check out at the hotel’s front desk.

 

 

**May 16, 2019**

**London, England**

 

"Mom!" Jordan hissed as she grabbed onto her mother's arm. " _Look_ what the cat dragged in."

 

"Oh, Lord help us all," Kate muttered under her breath as they watched Tessa and Scott walking towards them, where they had been sitting in the airport arrivals area, waiting for Tessa.

 

The original plan had been for Tessa to fly from Mallorca to London and spend a few vacation days there for her thirtieth birthday with Kate and Jordan, before flying on to Newfoundland for the second Great Kitchen Party trip. Scott had most definitely not been a part of the Virtue women's plans.

 

"Tessa?" Kate asked as she pulled her in for a hug. She was concerned as to why Scott had accompanied her on the flight to London. She wasn't sure if Tessa was feeling ill or having trouble with the pregnancy or issues with Scott. This unexpected change of plans was unsettling to her.

 

"I'm fine, baby's fine. It's okay, mom. It's a long story, I'll fill you in later tonight."

 

Jordan and Kate both hugged Scott. He still felt hungover and looked terrible, dressed in the clothes from the previous night and puffy-eyed from crying more on the flight to London.

 

*

 

As they walked down the hotel hallway towards their rooms, Kate gave instructions.

 

"So, I think Scott needs a shower and a change to freshen up before we all grab some dinner."

 

Kate stopped in front of room 307 and handed Scott a room key.

 

"Scott, use my room while us girls have a little chat. We'll be across the hall in 310. Come over when you're ready."

 

Scott nodded, accepted the key card, and disappeared into the room while the women carried on down the hall.

 

"Okay, spill," Jordan snarked as Tessa came out of the bathroom.

 

"Scott had a fight with Jackie...she found out that we—”

 

"Oh my God, you two had sex again, didn't you?" Jordan gasped.

 

Tessa's face flushed. Not quite the wording she was going to use, but it _was_ the truth.

 

"I thought you learnt your lesson the last time?" she asked as she pointed to Tessa's belly.

 

Tessa sighed and shrugged, her face still flush.

 

"So, Jackie found out about you and Scott...and then she left for Florida without Scott?" Kate clarified.

 

Tessa nodded.

 

"And being _typical Tessa_ , you wouldn't leave your partner behind, so you brought him with?"

 

Tessa nodded again.

 

"The two of you act like teenagers instead of thirty year olds," Jordan scoffed.

 

"Jord, that's not helpful," Kate said as she pinched the bridge of her nose, even though she had thought the same thing as Jordan.

 

*

 

"Scott, you'll take the second bed in my room tonight and the girls will share the other room. You and I need to have a talk before you go to sleep though," Kate tapped the key card on the lock to open her hotel room door and stepped inside.

 

Scott silently agreed with Kate as he started to follow her into the room but paused to turn around and look at Tessa.

 

"Tess, can we talk first?" Scott asked hopefully. She had been stalling him off all day and he was getting antsy to smooth things over between them.

 

"Jord, go ahead I'll be right in," Tessa sighed as she turned to look at Scott. This was the first time they had a chance to be alone together since arriving in London and the tension between them was palpable. "Scott, we _do_ need to sit down and talk through everything, but I think we should wait until morning."

 

Scott nodded sadly and opened his arms for a hug.

 

Tessa accepted and stepped into his embrace, their baby nestled in between them. They both closed their eyes and felt comforted without having to use words. Their hug lasted probably longer than it should; they finally pulled apart once Kate cleared her throat to indicate it was long enough. She was still holding the door open to her room and wanted to get her discussion with Scott started because she knew the talk with Tessa would be much longer.

 

Scott put his hand on Tessa's belly and looked her in the eyes. "Good night," he whispered and then turned to enter through the door that Kate was holding open.

 

"He loves that baby," Jordan said to Tessa as she shut the door to their room.

 

Tessa rolled her eyes. "Of course he does. Scott loves all children."

 

"No, I mean he'll do _anything_ for her. Use that as leverage to get him to figure himself the fuck out. The two of you need to end this nonsense before she arrives because she'll only complicate your lives further. He either needs to be with Jackie or you. Not both."

 

Tessa nodded sadly. "I _know_."

 

Across the hall, Scott and Kate were having a similar discussion.

 

"You know that I love you like a son, and it pains me to see you so upset and distressed. You really do need to sort things out between you and Tess and Jackie before this baby arrives. She doesn't deserve to be brought up in chaos." Kate said as she paced back and forth in front of where Scott was sitting on his bed.

 

He nodded at what Kate was telling him, he did agree, even though he was ashamed that he even needed to have this conversation at all.

 

 

**May 17, 2019**

**London, England**

 

Tessa had thought about everything her mom and sister had talked to her about last night and she had also come to her own realizations. She was already waiting in the lobby with Jordan when Scott came down with Kate.

 

"I trust you two will actually talk about what needs fixing?" Kate asked as she looked at Tessa and then at Scott.

 

Tessa and Scott nodded in unison.

 

"Good. Jordan and I are headed off for our own breakfast. Tessa, we'll meet you back here at 10am."

 

*

 

"How did you sleep last night?" Tessa asked as the two of them walked down Piccadilly towards Caffé Concerto for breakfast.

 

"Your mom snores."

 

Tessa rolled her eyes. "Other than that?"

 

"Not well, if I'm being honest."

 

"Well if it's any consolation, Jordan also snores and I didn't sleep much either," Tessa laughed but awkwardly stopped when she saw Scott wasn't joining in.

 

Scott stuffed his hands in his pant pockets and continued walking along side Tessa.

 

*

 

As they sipped on their coffee, Tessa and Scott stared at each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move.

 

When Tessa was half finished her coffee, she decided they had wasted enough time. She had sightseeing plans later that morning with her mom and sister and didn't want this conversation to drag out all day.

 

"So, as you know, I had a long, in-depth discussion with mom and Jord last night, after mom talked to you. First, I owe you an apology…two apologies, really. I'm sorry I initiated sex the other night...and last fall. That's on me. I was wrong to do that and I was not thinking clearly. I'm sorry."

 

"Tess—”

 

She held up her hand and he stopped talking.

 

"I'm sorry, Scott. I know you wanted to make things work with Jackie and I realize my actions made it seem like I sabotaged that for you. It was not consciously intentional. Yes, I do love you and do want you in a... _forever_ sort of way but how exactly that could work...I'm still unclear on."

 

"Tess—”

 

"Please, let me finish. You need to decide what _you_ want. You say you want me but you're still with Jackie. You're not giving either of us one hundred percent of yourself."

 

"That's what she said," he mumbled.

 

"And when this baby arrives? How will you split your time?"

 

"I don't want to _split_ my time," he said quietly into his coffee cup, avoiding making eye contact with Tessa.

 

"Then do something about it," she huffed.

 

"And if I leave her, then what?"

 

Tessa sighed and then smiled up at their server as she set their breakfast plates down in front of them on the table.

 

"We both need therapy, Scott. You need to learn to be alone before we can attempt to be together again. I'm willing to wait if you're willing to put in the work."

 

"Alone?" he asked as he passed her the bottle of Ketchup he knew she was going to ask for.

 

"Thank you. You said it yourself. You can't be alone...you need to deal with that."

 

He nodded as he started eating his scrambled eggs.

 

"Well?" she asked.

 

"Conclusion? We're both fucked up and need help. We've sort of been on-again off-again our whole lives and we're co-dependent and it's next-level complicated."

 

Tessa nodded. "And we tend to fall into habits that are easy and comforting, while ignoring the real issues at hand, just like we've always done. I'm not going to deny that I too have things that need working on."

 

"I'll continue to work on me," Scott said softly. "I have been going to see my therapist but I feel like the last month and a half really set us back."

 

Tessa sighed and nodded. "Look, I know you're excited for the baby, but you do realize that she won't fix us...or me...or you. If anything, her arrival will complicate things exponentially. It's asking too much of an innocent child to mend what's broken. We owe it to _her_ to fix our issues as much as we can before she arrives."

 

Scott nodded. "I'll try to make things right. _For her_."

 

"Thank you," Tessa said softly as she reached across the table to pat her hand on Scott's.

 

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. He wasn't sure if he should tell her. It didn't really matter now.

 

"What?"

 

He shook his head.

 

"We need to be honest and upfront with each other from here on out," Tessa sighed.

 

"I caught Jackie—”

 

"With another man?" Tessa jumped in, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

 

Scott frowned and shook his head. "No, nothing like that. Will you let me talk now?" He playfully nudged her leg under the table with his foot.

 

"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly.

 

"A few weeks back, just after the ultrasound, I found Jackie's birth control pills in the garbage."

 

Tessa put down her fork with a clatter. "Is she pregnant too? Oh my God, Scott—”

 

"Tessa!"

 

"Sorry...finish!" she blushed as she waived her hands at him.

 

Scott sighed. "I waited a few weeks to see if she would say anything but she didn’t, so I confronted her about it. She played dumb and claimed she lost them and didn't get a chance to get new pills. I didn't trust her even after she showed me the new package. I started tracking her cycle so I could avoid her...when it counted, you know?"

 

Tessa nodded. "Exactly what we didn't do, but that wasn't on purpose. Sorry, go on."

 

"If I hadn't caught the pills in the garbage and she also had gotten pregnant and I had two babies in two countries—”

 

"But you did and she's not—”

 

"I know. I dodged a bullet, but her actions made me question her motives. She... she also asked me to marry her."

 

"What?! Well that's all just fucked up. What did you say to the proposal?" Tessa asked, leaning in closer towards the table.

 

"No, obviously. She had _just_ gotten divorced."

 

"Good. I mean, good you turned her down. So, what are you going to do now?"

 

Scott sighed as he poked at the grilled tomatoe on his plate, not his favourite. "What I should have done a while ago but was too scared to do. Break things off officially with her. I guess I never really intended to be with her long term. I just needed someone to _be_ with me and have fun with...to take my mind off of _our_ issues, rather than dealing with it. I know I just sort of jumped in and never really thought this out. I hate the long distance thing and while it was fun in the beginning, it's time for me to grow up. I owe you an apology, Tess. I know I shouldn't have paraded her around in public. I hurt you by doing that, especially on our special night at the Walk of Fame and I'm sorry."

 

Tessa offered a sympathetic smile. "What's done is done. Apology accepted."

 

When the server brought the bill to the table, Tessa reached for her purse; they always split the bill in half. She stopped when she felt his hand on her arm.

 

"Let me get it, T. Happy birthday, by the way."

 

 

**May 18, 2019**

**Tampa, Florida**

 

He had been on the 6:30am flight, local time, out of London-Heathrow and pulled up in front of her condo at nearly 6:30pm that night, Florida time. He was exhausted from all the travelling in the past few days and all of the emotions he was dealing with.

 

He paid the taxi driver and fished his key out of his pocket. As he let himself into the dark condo, he realized she wasn't home. Her suitcase was in the hallway but she didn't answer when he called out for her. His body relaxed substantially and he made quick work of packing as many of belongings as he could into his spare suitcase before Jackie returned. He had planned to spend the night at the hotel down the street because after he finished breaking up with Jackie, the last thing he wanted to do was sleep on her sofa.

 

He did one final walk through of the condo, satisfied he had everything and put the second suitcase next to his other one by the front door. He went to the kitchen to retrieve one last item; the ultrasound photo. He stood in the kitchen staring at it and thinking about all of his bad decisions over the last several months. He didn't even hear Jackie enter.

 

"Scott," she said as she put her hand on his shoulder.

 

He jumped at her touch and turned around.

 

"Jackie," he gasped with surprise, even though he was expecting her to return at some point. He looked between her and the photograph in his hand, not really sure what to say to her.

 

"We're done, aren't we?" she finally asked, knowing full well that they were. She could tell by the look on his face that his heart was no longer hers. She had come to the realization weeks ago that they would never be endgame; his life was too intertwined with Tessa's.

 

"I'm sorry I hurt you, but yeah. It's time for me to move back home and man up to my responsibilities. I need to spend more time being a contributing member of my family and less time being a jackass to the people I love. I have to deal with my personal issues and get ready to be the dad that my daughter deserves to have."

 

"And Tessa?"

 

Scott sighed. "Tess and I are very complicated. We have a lot of issues to work through, both together and apart. I need to focus first on myself."

 

"I'm glad to hear that you realize that you need to focus on yourself. You'll make a great dad; she's a lucky little girl. I'm sorry I ever doubted that you were the father."

 

"So, I should go. I booked a room at the Homewood."

 

Jackie nodded and stepped to the side so Scott could exit the kitchen.

 

"Take care of yourself, Scott," she called out softly as he opened the front door and walked out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was...heavy


	9. Newfoundland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second Great Kitchen Party takes place in and around St. John's, Newfoundland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the delay! This past week was nuts! Also...RIP Pumpkinpasties :(
> 
> We have a few new characters in this chapter: 
> 
> -Irene & Faye: huge VM fans from small town Newfoundland  
> -Alan Doyle (Great Big Sea), Mark Critch (CBC's This Hour Has 22 Minutes), and Brad Gushue (Olympic curler) but to be honest I didn't write much regarding them...sorry!
> 
> A big THANK YOU to the lovely ladies helping me out prior to posting!

 

**May 21, 2019**

**St. John's, Newfoundland**

 

"Last time we were here was the final day of The Thank You Canada Tour," Scott remarked as he looked around the lobby of the JAG hotel, a boutique property with a music-inspired décor. "Well, not here in this hotel I mean, but St. John's."

 

"Yeah," Tessa sighed. "We've come a long way since the end of November and yet somehow...at the same time...we've not."

 

"Agreed," Scott replied, tapping his fingers on the white club chair he was sitting in next to Tessa, under a portrait of David Bowie. He knew what she meant. Their personal relationship was still not in an ideal place six months after the tour ended, but it was improving. "You look tired, T. Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine," she nodded slowly. "A bit of jet lag, but it's been a lot these last two weeks, more so emotionally than physically, and—” Tessa paused and rubbed her hand on her growing belly. "She's also getting bigger and more noticeably active at night and it's getting harder to sleep."

 

"Then we need to make sure you get in some naps, eh?"

 

"Easier said than done," Tessa mused. "How are _you_ doing?"

 

"Good. I managed to get in a last minute appointment yesterday with my therapist before I flew out this morning."

 

"I'm glad to hear that," she said, her eyes lighting up. She hadn't expected him to dive straight into fixing himself, but she would certainly embrace his desire to change.

 

"I can't say that I made much progress in one appointment, but I did come to realize that I reached rock bottom last week and it was probably a necessary evil in order for me to move forward with my life."

 

"Yeah," Tessa said quietly as she pressed her hand into her side and winced.

 

Scott lurched towards Tessa with concern, the pained expression on her face made his heart race and his stomach sink. "T? You okay?"

 

"Yeah, she's...she just has her elbow or foot in my ribs," Tessa grunted and winced again. "Her new favourite thing."

 

"Oh," he breathed out a sigh of relief. He didn't know why but he had this irrational fear that something was going to happen to the baby... _or Tessa_. He made a mental note to add that to the things he needed to discuss with his therapist. "Is there anything I can do?"

 

"No," Tessa shook her head and relaxed back against her chair again. "I just have to wait it out or push back with my hand until she takes a hint, which thankfully she just did."

 

Tessa looked over at Scott, his face was blanched. She reached towards him and wrapped her hand around his, giving it a squeeze. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. She's just being a thorn in my side lately...something like her dad."

 

"Hey now," Scott chuckled as Tessa winked at him.

 

They certainly had more of an ease about them now, as if Jackie being removed from the equation calmed them both significantly. They had only been sitting together in the hotel lobby for twenty minutes and it already felt like they had rewound a year in time.

 

"I worry about both of you all the time, you know," he admitted.

 

Tessa smiled shyly. "We're fine, you don't have to worry...but thank you. I'd tell you if anything was seriously wrong."

 

"Promise?" he asked, avoiding looking into her eyes as he put his hand on her belly. His thoughts went straight back to her legs and how she hid the pain so well from him in the beginning. He knew they had grown and changed and were mostly more open with each other, but he had such a vested interest in the outcome of this project, _their child_. He felt as though he had waited nearly his entire life for Tessa to have his baby, and he knew that even in their current relationship situation she still would not have willingly agreed to do this _right now_. She had other projects and ambitions and it made his heart sing that she willingly kept their baby, even if she did hide the first half of the pregnancy from him.

 

"Definitely," she said firmly as she gently patted the hand he had on her belly with her own before he awkwardly pulled away.

 

They sat in silence for several moments, watching the hotel guests milling about the lobby.

 

"So...I guess I need to figure out what makes me happy."

 

Tessa turned to look at Scott. "What do you mean?"

 

"That's what my therapist told me I need to do. I'm supposed to spend time alone each day for one hour. I’ve also got plans to get my house livable once this trip is over. But that had been on my to-do list before everything that happened in Mallorca."

 

"I'm proud of you, Scott...and I’m your biggest fan, never forget that. It will be nice having you permanently nearby again, especially once the baby is born. I was sort of worried about how often the baby would get to see you. You being home does make things a little less complicated."

 

"Thanks, I appreciate your support, T. It means a lot."

 

"You know, we've always had this ebb and flow to our relationship and I think we're starting to flow again."

 

"Yeah...and my hair is starting to flow again too," Scott smirked as he ran his fingers through his growing dark locks.

 

"I noticed," Tessa laughed. "You know that I like it longer."

 

"I remember,” he smiled as he looked into her eyes. “So? Any big plans for tonight, Virtch?"

 

"Nothing exciting. I'm hungry, so food first and I'm also exhausted, so bed right after that for tonight. You?"

 

"Tonight is the first installment of Scott time. After dinner I'm going to sit alone in my room with a journal and see what happens. No television or music or any of my electronic devices, but before that, I could use some company. Join me for a walk down to Water Street and dinner?"

 

Tessa burst out laughing; a big, loud laugh that filled the entire lobby. Scott cracked a smile, he hadn't intended for that to be funny, but he would gladly take her laughter.

 

"Kinda defeats the purpose of Scott time, if you get in some Tessa time first?" she smirked.

 

"Indulge me, T. I haven't seen you with our daughter for a few days and I want to make sure you eat."

 

"Fair enough. I would appreciate the company," she smiled.

 

 

**May 22, 2019**

**St. John's, Newfoundland**

 

"Tess," Scott called out as he knocked on her hotel room door. "The bus leaves in ten."

 

Scott had been down in the hotel lobby for thirty minutes waiting for Tessa to come down to meet up with the group. He was getting worried as she wasn't usually _this_ late and he hadn't seen her since they passed each other in the lobby that morning when she was headed to breakfast and he was just coming back from eating.

 

She hadn't responded and he was just about to knock again when the door flung open.

 

"Everything okay, T?"

 

"I took a nap after lunch and I forgot to set my alarm. So no, I'm not okay. I'm freaking out a little that I have to get ready in negative two minutes."

 

"I'm in a hurry to get things done. Oh, I rush and rush until—” Scott sung out and abruptly stopped as Tessa threw a pillow at him.

 

He enjoyed frazzled Tessa. She was outwardly always so calm and collected and only a small handful of people ever got to witness her true panicked state, Scott being one of them. He was also one of the few people who could calm her.

 

He watched her pace between her suitcase and closet. The third time she went past, he gently grabbed her arm.

 

"Hey," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her body, noticing it was more awkward to press their bodies together than the last time he had hugged her; their baby must have had another growth spurt. “Just take a deep breath. They're not going to leave without us. I already told Lisa that you were running late and I was going up to get you."

 

"I just don't like to be late," she breathed into the side of his neck.

 

"I know," he whispered as he rubbed his hands on her back.

 

"Okay," she said pulling away from Scott and walked towards the bathroom. "Be helpful and grab my jean jacket and sweater please from the closet, I have to use the bathroom before my bladder explodes."

 

"No prob, please no exploding. That would be messy," Scott chuckled at the mental image and grabbed the two items Tessa had hung up. "Anything else, T?" he called from outside the bathroom door.

 

"No,” she shouted back. "I'll be out in a sec."

 

Tessa returned from the bathroom, a few notches calmer. "I just need to change my clothes and put on my shoes. I'll touch up my make-up on the bus. Thank you for waking me up, Scott."

 

"That's what partners are for, T."

 

*

 

"Good afternoon everyone!" the tour director Lisa, announced into the microphone at the front of the bus. "We're just going to do a quick head count then we'll be on our way to the charming fishing village of Quidi Vidi where we'll kick off our week with a few pints at the Quidi Vidi Brewery. After you've been loosened up we'll walk over to The Mallard Cottage, for a kitchen style dinner."

 

Tessa and Scott walked out of the hotel lobby together and boarded the bus, the last to arrive. Scott sat down next to Brad Gushue near the front and Tessa carried on towards the back of the bus to take two empty seats for herself so she could have some elbow room to apply her make-up.

 

Irene and Faye had been first to arrive in the lobby that afternoon. They saw Scott show up alone and had watched him wander around as if he was looking for something or someone. Eventually he gave up and went back towards the elevators.

 

Irene jabbed her elbow into her friend's ribs as she watched through the bus window as Tessa and Scott walked quickly from the lobby to the bus.

 

"Take a gawk at dat, will ya, Faye? Now what do you suppose dey were up to? A lil hanky panky?"

 

"Irene! Hush yer mouth," Faye hissed in a thick Newfoundland accent. "He was only gone ten minutes."

 

"Plenty a time for a bit a fun," Irene whispered and then smiled up at Tessa as she walked past them and took her seat towards the back of the bus.

 

*

 

Two long tables had been set up at The Mallard Cottage for dinner. Faye and Irene were at one end, a few seats away from Scott, and Tessa was across the table from him. Irene had watched Tessa and Scott give each other heart eyes and wordless looks throughout the meal. She was confident they were more than the platonic business partners they claimed to be. _More than confident_.

 

“Faye, have you seen de nonsense goin’ on between dose two?” Irene whispered into her friend’s ear.

 

“By all dat’s sacred, you might be onto somethin’,” Faye whispered back as she watched Scott reach across the table to put his hand over Tessa’s.

 

 

**May 23, 2019**

**St. John's, Newfoundland**

 

That morning the guests boarded the bus just before 9am. They were headed to Cape Spear, the most easterly point in North America, to see a national historic site featuring Newfoundland’s oldest surviving lighthouse built in 1836 and the remains of the bunkers from the Second World War. They were then going on a two-hour walk south along the coast to Petty Harbour for a traditional fish and chips lunch.

 

"Morning T," Scott grinned at Tessa as he squeezed her shoulder before taking a seat three rows back from where she was sitting.

 

Tessa was still half asleep. She had skipped her morning coffee in hopes that her bladder would hold out better for the hike they had that morning and she was currently half-heartedly listening to Gloria loudly chat her ear off about her trip to Egypt last fall, while the baby was doing some sort of calisthenics stretching exercises that Tessa found very uncomfortable. She sort of wanted to scream. Scratch that. She did want to scream and run off the bus towards the nearest place serving alcohol at 9am. But, sadly she was trapped on a bus filled with people mostly her parents' age, whose asses she needed to politely kiss for the next few days because they bought this trip at auction for a shitload of money, and her daughter, currently growing inside her, prevented all alcohol consumption for the next ten weeks, give or take. She turned to Gloria and flashed her a classic Tessa Virtue toothy smile. "Sounds like you had a lovely time with your husband. I would be thrilled to read your travel blog sometime, your photos must be gorgeous."

 

*

 

"Doing okay there, T?" Scott asked as he jogged up beside Tessa. He had been hanging at the back of the pack for the first part of the hike, enjoying talking to Stan, Gloria's equally chatty husband as they hiked along the mostly rocky path past coves and cliffs.

 

Tessa grunted as she side-eyed Scott. She didn't have to offer him a fake smile or false promises of looking through blurry photos of camels and sand dunes. She could relax and let down her guard, even for just a few moments. He was her own personal oasis.

 

"I'm thinking you need to skip the puffin and whale watch cruise this afternoon, T. You should probably elevate your legs after all this walking...maybe take a nap?"

 

"Do you think I _need_ a nap?" she barked in a hushed tone, she didn't want to draw any extra attention on them.

 

"Kinda? Yeah, I mean, you're still getting over jet lag and don't forget we have another early morning walk tomorrow," he said as he rubbed his hand gently on her back. "I'm proud of you for pushing through. All this travel and being a consummate professional while almost eight months pregnant can't be easy. I'm just saying if you need to tap out for the optional excursion this afternoon, no one will fault you for that. I can represent both of us, just like you've covered for me numerous times in our career."

 

"Sweet Mother o’ Mary! Take a gawk at dat," Irene gasped as she hit her hand on Faye's arm.

 

"I got eyes, Irene. So he's touching her back. You want me to give you a rub now too?"

 

"G’way wit-cha! I wanna have me own turn to chat them up. There's always someone yakking their ear off,” Irene complained.

 

“Wait for a time, and you’ll get it, Irene. Wait for a time.”

 

 

**May 24, 2019**

**St. John's, Newfoundland**

 

Tessa was more chipper the next morning after having her coffee with breakfast. The walk up Signal Hill wasn't nearly as long as the hike they were on yesterday. She had taken that nap that Scott suggested and had gone to bed immediately after dinner last night. Scott had been right that no one said a word about her disappearing, only at how impressed they were that she had done the hike yesterday and had led the pack in a quick pace, which was fueled mostly by her bladder.

 

"She’s a sight to behold, isn’t she?" Irene asked as she walked up beside Tessa to take in the incredible view of St. John’s harbour.

 

Tessa turned to look at Irene and offered her a smile and a nod. "It is! Well worth the walk up!"

 

"Hey Virtch! Lisa wants to talk to us about tomorrow real quick!" Scott called out to Tessa.

 

"Excuse me," she apologized to Irene and then walked towards Scott and Lisa where they were standing next to Cabot Tower.

 

“No worries,” Irene said with a disappointed smile.

 

*

 

Later that night the group was having a Friday night wicked crawl on George Street with Alan and Mark. They were already at their second bar and most of their group was several drinks in, making for a rowdy bunch.

 

The music was loud, but it had a great beat and Tessa's body moved on the dance floor to the rhythm on it's own accord. The baby seemed to enjoy it too as she kicked up a storm while Tessa danced amongst a mix of locals and tour guests. She hadn't seen Scott in the crowd for the last seven songs, not that she was counting. She wondered where he was but tried to keep her mind from doing what it always did, thinking about the worst-case scenario. She reminded herself that he was committed to bettering himself so that one day they might be able to make things work between them and not hiding in a corner with his next woman-of-the-week.

 

She jumped and let out a gasp when a pair of familiar arms wrapped around her from behind.

 

"Where have you been?" she nearly shouted into his ear so he could hear her above the music.

 

Her breath in his ear and her lips making brief contact with his skin caused a shudder to run down his spine before he could get out, "stepped outside with Stan for a smoke. Him, not me," he clarified quickly as he saw the way her eyes narrowed disapprovingly.

 

"Wouldya look now, Faye! Cuddling on the dance floor!" Irene shouted at her friend as they sat at the bar with their fourth martini of the night.

 

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're right!" Faye shook her head as she watched Scott pressing his body close against Tessa's back as they slow danced to a song that was more boot stomping than slow hip swaying.

 

**May 25, 2019**

**Ferryland Lighthouse near Ferryland, Newfoundland**

 

Irene finally got her chance as she spotted Tessa and Scott standing next to each other at the base of the lighthouse. She knew they were enjoying the views of the rugged coastline, but if she didn’t make her move now, they would be busy with the picnic lunch and then Tessa and Scott were going to be sharing their comeback story and inevitably someone would come along and eat up the rest of their free time.

 

She grabbed the fabric of Faye’s coat and pulled her along towards the pair; Scott had his arm draped over Tessa’s shoulder and she had her head on his shoulder.

 

“Excuse us,” Irene said from behind.

 

Tessa and Scott quickly broke apart and turned to look at the women.

 

“We wanted you to know we’re always glad to see come from aways visit us here. We love your skating! We heard you two were married now," Irene said boldly, hoping she could get some sort of relationship confirmation.

 

"That's such a compliment but we're not a couple," Tessa said, shaking her head and looking over at Scott with apologetic eyes. It's true they were not a couple in the traditional sense but they were inextricably linked and both wanted to figure out a way to make things work romantically between them, one day.

 

"Go on witchya. Scott, what are you waitin’ fer, son?"

 

"Irene, come now, let them be," Faye hushed her friend as she turned to look at Tessa and Scott. "Take no mind to my friend Irene here, there’s no back doors with her. She watched you two skate in one Olympics and she's blabbing to all the girls at bingo about how she's an expert now in ice dancing."

 

"Oh don’t worry, that happens a lot, we're used to it. It's nice to gain new fans and bring more awareness to the sport," Tessa said with a smile, she found their thick accents and the speed at which they spoke a little hard to follow.

 

"Have you enjoyed the trip so far?" Scott asked the women, using one of their classic redirects.

 

“Yes b’y, we’ve been three sheets to the wind every night. What’s not to enjoy?” Irene laughed.

 

"I'm looking forward to Alan’s concert at the Yellow Belly Brewery tomorrow night," Scott said as he put one arm around Irene and the other around Faye and led them slowly away from Tessa before the women could prod deeper into their relationship situation and Tessa’s pregnancy.

 

 

**May 27, 2019**

**30,000 feet above Eastern Canada**

 

"So? Ready Virtch?" Scott grinned as he nudged Tessa's knee with his own.

 

"You have a captive audience, so sure, why not," she replied dryly.

 

"Do you have your list?" Scott asked as he squirmed excitedly in his seat.

 

Tessa held up her phone and wiggled it back and forth. "Yes, finally. I can't say it's an extensive list, but it's something. You go first though."

 

Scott unlocked his phone and pulled up his list. Tessa could nearly feel his excitement radiating off of him. She knew it was silly to have stalled off this conversation as long as she had. Really she had no excuse other than it was easier to avoid the pressure of picking the perfect name. She didn't have her heart set on any of the names she had put on her list and she hoped Scott had something decent that would jump out at her. Otherwise their baby might end up like the poor cat in Breakfast at Tiffany's... _nameless_.

 

"Okay," he grinned. "These are in no particular order, mostly just alphabetical. I added them as I went through the name book and a few I thought of on my own."

 

Tessa nodded as she settled back against her chair. "Any favourites?"

 

"A few, but...well, just let me know what you think?" He didn't want Tessa to feel any pressure in having to agree to his favourites.

 

"Sure," she sighed as she closed her eyes.

 

"Okay, first one, Amelia?"

 

Tessa opened her eyes and looked at Scott. It wasn’t what she was expecting him to lead with. "Hmm, maybe? It's actually not terrible."

 

Scott's eyes lit up as he looked at Tessa. "Really?" he asked, surprised at how readily she agreed. He had mentally prepared himself for her to shoot down every name he suggested.

 

"Yeah, put it on your shortlist. What else?" she winked at Scott, loving how excited he was and she relaxed a bit as she fed off his energy.

 

"Aurelia? It means golden."

 

"Oh, that's pretty," she sighed with a smile. "Maybe a bit weighted and presumptuous if she winds up in amateur figure skating, or any sport really, but put that on your shortlist too."

 

Scott nodded and proceeded to read through the rest of his list, the bulk of them Tessa approved to be shortlisted.

 

"Okay, last one on my list. Zara?"

 

"Like the clothing store? Hard pass," Tessa said as she wrinkled her nose.

 

"What? A clothing store?"

 

"Yes, and I know you've heard of it, you're just forgetting. Okay, my turn. Talula?"

 

" _Tessa!"_ Scott hissed.

 

"I'm kidding!" she laughed. "I just wanted to see your reaction. I did like it a few years back, but since I already used it on my jewelry line, it's out. On my _real_ list, I've got Katherine and Eleanor and Emily and Audrey."

 

Scott stared blankly at Tessa and waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he realized that was it. _Four names._

 

"Te- _ess_ ," he whined. "That's it? And I knew you'd have those ones! Nothing else?"

 

Tessa shrugged.

 

"Well, since you only had four and we put twenty-seven of my names on the short list, I'm adding all of yours, just to be fair."

 

"Okay," she nodded hesitantly; slightly embarrassed that was all she had to contribute. "I just want a perfect name and all the names I thought of were not quite—”

 

"She _will_ have a perfect name. Don't worry. The name we end up deciding on will suit _her_ perfectly.”

 

Tessa sighed and smiled as she rubbed her hand over her belly.

 

"Okay if I read the list to her?" Scott asked as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

 

"Sure," Tessa laughed. She thought it was so endearing the way Scott included their daughter on so many discussions. He was already forming such a special bond with her.

 

Scott read through the list, his mouth close enough to Tessa's belly that she could feel the vibrations from his voice and feel his nose that occasionally bumped against her. The combination of that was doing things to her that she wished it wasn't because they _had_ to stop this pattern. They _needed_ to be better. She was pulled out of her thoughts as the baby kicked right where his face was pressed up against her belly and he laughed.

 

"She tells me she likes Gertrude and Evelyn," Scott said as he looked up at Tessa.

 

"Gertrude and— _Scott!_ Those names were _not_ on your list!" Tessa laughed and playfully shoved at his shoulder because his closeness to that part of her body was really becoming too much.

 

"Shortlist?" he smirked as he sat up in his seat.

 

"No!" she continued to laugh as she laid her head against Scott's shoulder. As her laughter faded, her body relaxed. His shoulder was home and comforting, and after the month they had, she could think of no other place she wanted to be at that moment.

 

"Will you share that list with me please? I want to think about the names," she said as she stifled a yawn and closed her eyes.

 

Scott pressed a kiss to the top of her head, knowing that to any outsider they probably looked like your average expecting couple and he was okay with that for the present moment. "Of course, T. Any favourites?"

 

"There were a couple of yours that I would definitely put a gold star beside," she admitted as the fasten seatbelt sign came on. They would be landing soon and it would be the start of the next chapter of their relationship, and Tessa was more than ready.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics Scott sings are from: I'm in a Hurry (and I Don't Know Why) by Alabama
> 
> Next chapter: Scott settles back into life in southwestern Ontario...


	10. One Grain of Rice at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa has a little scare when Scott is out of town but they rally together and pull through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE BABY WILL BE FINE...DON'T COME YELLING AT ME LOL

 

**May 29, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

"Hmm," Andrea hummed as she wrinkled her brow. She moved her stethoscope to several points on Tessa's belly before removing it and pulling the fetal doppler from her bag. "I know you just got back from travelling, but have you been under any other stressors lately?"

 

Tessa's eyes went glassy as she thought back through Mallorca and London and Newfoundland. "Yes, some personal issues, but why are you asking? What's wrong?"

 

"Baby's heart rate is a little low compared to what she usually is at. I'm going to check it on the doppler and see if I get a different read. No need to worry just yet."

 

Tessa turned her head to look up at Kate, there was fear written across Tessa’s face and Kate mirrored a similar expression. The pregnancy had been so easy and uncomplicated thus far.

 

Tessa's favourite galloping horses sound filled her family room as she held her breath; it sounded normal to her, not that she was an expert at what their baby's heartbeat was supposed to sound like. She hadn’t known it as long as she had known Scott's heartbeat.

 

"Kate," Andrea said as she pulled the Doppler away and wiped the gel off Tessa's belly with a towel. "Is there juice or another sugary liquid we can give Tessa? The baby might just be a little sleepy."

 

"Tess, do you still have those juice boxes from when Poppy was over last?" Kate asked as she started walking towards the kitchen.

 

"Yeah, in the pantry," she said to Kate and then turned back to Andrea. "Should I be worried now?"

 

"No, this can happen. Try to keep your breathing normal and just relax. I'll get you to roll onto your left side and drink a bit of juice and see if that helps wake baby up."

 

*

 

"I'm not seeing a marked improvement, so as a precaution, I'm going to send to you to the hospital for a non-stress test. They'll take your vitals and get baby hooked up to a monitor. I'd rather be overcautious with something like this," Andrea said gently as she put her hand on Tessa’s shoulder.

 

"Should I be worried now?" Tessa asked as she pulled on her media mask to bury the mix of emotions she felt bubbling up to the surface.

 

"No, it's not dangerously low. We just need to get some decent readings over a longer period of time on the monitors and we'll go from there."

 

*

 

Kate backed her car down Tessa's driveway, with Tessa in the passenger seat. She was slightly nervous as to what was going on with the baby, but she knew in her heart that if anything was seriously wrong, Andrea would have said. She was more concerned that Tessa hadn’t mentioned anything about letting Scott know what was going on. "Are you going to call Scott?" she finally asked as she started driving down the street towards the hospital.

 

"I don’t know. I don’t want to worry him if it's nothing…although I did promise I'd tell him if anything was wrong,"

 

"You should call him, Tess."

 

"I know but he's at the Cricket Club today and I don’t want to bother him for something trivial and—”

 

Kate went ahead and pressed the speed dial for Scott's number, and it began ringing loudly through the car's speakers.

 

"Mom!" Tessa huffed, annoyed that her mom was forcing her to tell Scott when she wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with this.

 

"Hello? Tess? What's up? I'm on the ice," Scott shouted into his phone.

 

Tessa could hear music playing loudly in the background and the muffled sounds of other voices, probably from the skaters he was working with today. She begrudgingly proceeded to fill Scott in on the details of her appointment.

 

"I'm on my way, T. I'll be home as fast as I can," Scott’s voice boomed through the car speakers.

 

"Please don't be reckless with your driving. This isn’t an emergency, Scott. It's just precautionary. I'm sure it's nothing and I'll be back home by the time you get here—”

 

"It's important to _me_ that I come home right now. I'll call or text when I get into the city limits."

 

"Please don't text and drive. Phone me...or mom," Tessa sighed.

 

"Okay, okay, I gotta let you go so I can pull off my skates. See you soon."

 

Tessa pressed the button on the dash to disconnect the call. “I knew he’d come home right away. It’s not necessary, mom,” she sighed.

 

“That’s his choice, Tessa. I think if the shoe was on the other foot, you’d be rushing home too.”

 

Tessa didn’t respond. She knew her mom was right.

 

 

**May 29, 2019**

**Toronto, Ontario**

 

"Fuck," Scott breathed out as he came to a stop on the ice after shoving his phone into his pant pocket. He'd had this feeling something would happen to the baby. "Fuck!" he yelled as he kicked his toe pick hard against the boards once and then again for good measure.

 

The other skaters gave him space, they knew he could occasionally get moody and had been told to let him be until he calmed down. “Sorry guys, I gotta get home right away, family emergency,” he called out to the skaters as he stepped off the ice and grabbed his skate guards. “Go ahead and take the rest of the afternoon off, eh?”

 

 

**May 29, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

"Tess? Where are you? I'm just pulling off the 401," Scott said loudly into his handsfree. He hadn’t heard any updates from her or Kate during his two and a half hour drive and he was a nervous wreck the whole time, knowing worst-case scenario would be that Tessa could be delivering the baby right now. _Without him._ Her whole birth plan, out the window.

 

Tessa could hear the panic in his voice. "Nothing new to report. We’re still at the hospital. Baby is being stubborn and I haven't got a clue who she could have inherited that from,” she sighed, annoyed at this whole situation.

 

"Both of us, probably,” Scott laughed nervously. “Are you okay though? Is anyone concerned? The nurses? The mid-wife?" Scott asked as he stepped on the gas to make it through the intersection just as the light turned red.

 

“No, they’re all nonchalant about this, as if it happens all the time or something. I don’t know. Give me a shout when you’ve parked the car and I’ll give you instructions on how to find us.”

 

*

 

"Baby? It's Daddy. You can't be scaring your Mama and me like this. Are you just mad that I haven't talked to you since Monday?" Scott looked up hopefully at Tessa and she shook her head sadly; the baby hadn't kicked in response. Lately she had been very consistent with moving to his voice.

 

Scott looked over at the paper printout coming out of the machine. The nurse had shown him what to look for, and what marks qualified for the kick count. He closed his eyes when he didn't see what he had hoped. He was scared shitless, but couldn't tell Tessa. He knew she was being brave for him and it was only fair he try to keep his own emotions in check, as hard as that was for him. His eyes flew open when he heard the sound of the click from the marker in her hand.

 

"Did she move?" he asked hopefully as he scratched his fingers through his hair.

 

"Yeah, not much though," she said softly, her voice sounded sad and tired and Scott picked up on it right away.

 

He looked at the print out and sure enough there was a recording of it. He felt he needed to at least attempt to fix this situation for Tessa and their daughter. He knew Tessa was blaming herself for this, even though it wasn’t caused by something she did or didn’t do. He growled softly in frustration, catching her eye. She looked about three seconds away from tears.

 

"Could I sing to her?" he asked, remembering back to the day he sang to her on the sofa.

 

Tessa nodded, tears slowly running down her cheeks, as she put one hand on her belly, just above where the stretchy fabric band sat to hold the monitor in place. Scott placed one hand over Tessa's and gave it a squeeze. She was worried now, very worried. She had been at the hospital for just over four hours and while the baby's heart rate was now back in the normal range, she hadn’t met her kick count, which meant Tessa was stuck in the hospital for now. She knew there was a very real chance she could have the baby here at the hospital if she was in distress. _My body is failing our little girl, just as my legs failed us._

 

Scott pressed a kiss to Tessa's bump and then started singing, in his classic slightly off-key voice, with his mouth close to her body. He sung quietly at first and then a little louder as he made eye contact with Tessa, wanting her to know he meant every line.

 

“There goes my heart beating

'Cause you are the reason

I'm losing my sleep

Please come back now

 

There goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing

I'm hopeless now

 

I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken

 

Oh, 'cause I need you to see

That you are the reason

There goes my hand shaking

And you are the reason

 

My heart keeps bleeding

I need you now

If I could turn back the clock

I'd make sure the light defeated the dark

 

I'd spend every hour, of every day

Keeping you safe

And I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken

 

Oh, 'cause I need you to see

That you are the reason

 

Anything?" he asked Tessa, knowing the answer was no because he'd had both his hands on her belly, he would have felt something.

 

"No," Tessa sighed in defeat. She just wanted today to be over with. Today was _not_ supposed to go like _this_. "Maybe you should go home, get some sleep?"

 

" _Tessa_...how am I supposed to _sleep_ when you’re in the hospital?" Scott asked as he sat up straight, clenching his fists into tight balls. _How dare she tell me to go._

 

Tessa shrugged and fussed with her rings on her left hand as she avoided eye contact. She could feel herself retreating within. Shutting off the outside noise to conserve what little control over her emotions she still had left.

 

"I'm staying here until you're discharged, and you can't make me change my mind," Scott gritted through his teeth. He took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down.

 

"Suit yourself. Andrea texted that she's stopping by soon and Mom will be back any minute now. I won't be alone. I'll be fine,” Tessa insisted as she still refused to look at Scott. She knew he could read her eyes too well and she didn’t want him to see how scared she truly was.

 

"Stop pushing me away, T."

 

"I'm not!” she scoffed, annoyed that he could tell exactly what was going on and was forcing her to admit the truth.

 

"You are! You've put up a wall just now and you don't want to let me in. You don’t want to let me close again. Why?"

 

Tessa knew why. The song lyrics felt suffocating and Scott staring into her eyes while singing _those_ words to her was intimidating. She was both scared something might be wrong with their baby and scared that Scott was rushing things again between them. She was feeling vulnerable and didn’t like it.

 

"I'm not," she lied as she shook her head. She didn't want to do this right now.

 

"Damn it, Tessa!" Scott shouted as he stood up, kicking the chair back, causing the chair legs to scrape loudly on the tile floor.

 

Tessa's eyes went wide as her hands moved protectively over her belly. "You _scared_ her, Scott!” she hissed. “She jumped at your voice! Don't you _dare_ do that again!” Tessa was fully prepared to go all angry mama bear on Scott.

 

"I'm sorry! "I'm sorry!" he apologized as he ran his fingers through his hair. "That wasn't me! I—”

 

"Wasn't _you?_ Well then who the _fuck_ was it?"

 

"Tessa Jane! What in the world is going on here," Kate cried out as she walked into the room.

 

"Scott’s leaving for a fifteen minute break. That's what's happening," Tessa gritted through her teeth as she glared at Scott.

 

Scott sulked out of the room as Kate took the now empty chair next to the bed.

 

"I think you also need to calm down for fifteen minutes before we talk. Here drink this while we wait for him to return," Kate instructed as she pushed a cup of Starbucks coffee into Tessa’s hand.

 

*

 

When Scott returned to the antenatal room, his eyes were red-rimmed and his hair was sticking up where he had obviously been tugging and fussing with it. He leaned on the doorway, not daring to cross the threshold until he knew it was okay.

 

Kate stood up. “I’m going to leave you two _adults_ to discuss this in a calm and appropriate manor…like _adults_. You need to sort out whatever this is between you. I’m not sure why history keeps repeating itself, but you both need out of this cycle. You are better and stronger together, and you _both_ know that.”

 

Kate shook her head as she walked out of the room, worried that they may never get things right enough to make it work.

 

“I’m sorry, T. I shouldn’t have—”

 

“Wait,” Tessa whispered as she closed her eyes. She felt it would be easier to say what she had to say if she didn’t have to look at him.

 

“Okay,” he said as he sat down in the chair next to her bed.

 

“I should say this first.”

 

“Whenever you’re ready then, T.”

 

“I know you were singing that song, _those words_ , to me. I should have stopped you then. Please…it’s too much, too fast. You are still working on yourself and I’m not ready to go there yet. I know we are both on edge and upset from the situation with the baby. I don’t want to lose her, we’ve come so far, and I don’t want her to be born early and risk complications if we can avoid it. We just need to focus all of our energy on _her_ right now, not on _us_.”

 

“Okay. You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was pushing you again and I’m sorry I frightened her. You know I never would intentionally do that to her.”

 

“It’s the situation. You’re frustrated. I get that,” she said softly.

 

“It was still wrong of me to yell. I’m sorry, T,” he apologized as he took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth for a chaste kiss.

 

Tessa nodded, accepting his apology. “What’s in the bag?”

 

Scott looked down at the bag he was holding from the hospital gift shop. After he finished crying over his stupidity, he went in to look for an apology gift for Tessa. He didn’t find anything that really fit, but he did find something for the baby. He opened the bag and pulled out a book.

 

“I bought her a book. Maybe I could read it to her?”

 

Tessa looked at the book he was holding up, _Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?_ She remembered that book from when she was a child. She nodded as tears filled her eyes.

 

Scott opened the book and began reading, his mouth close to Tessa’s belly. By the time he got to the green frog, the baby had begun kicking close to where his mouth was. He paused to look up at Tessa; she had tears running down her cheeks as she clicked the marker in her hand. She nodded at him to continue. He had nearly read the book through four times when Andrea and Kate entered the room to find both Tessa and Scott with tear-stained faces.

 

“Everything okay?” Kate asked to both of them.

 

“Yes,” they answered in unison as they looked at each other. They were okay again. They had an external bump in the road but they were back on track.

 

Andrea went over to the machine and looked at the print out. “Everything looks good now. I’ll get you to monitor the kick counts until our next appointment, but otherwise you’re free to go home.”

 

 

**May 31, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Tessa and Scott were sitting at her dining room table going through the relentless barrage of emails regarding the tour.

 

"Do you have to put ketchup on _everything_ now?" Scott asked as he wrinkled his nose.

 

Tessa gave Scott a death glare as she pulled another McClure's garlic pickle from the jar, and dipped it into her bowl of ketchup before taking a loud crunchy bite. She ate the entire pickle, each mouthful with more ketchup, before responding.

 

"Does it bother you?"

 

"It kinda turns me off food in general to watch you eat? I mean pickles? Okay you mix pickles and ketchup on burgers, I can let that one go. But ketchup on chocolate ice cream and ketchup on your apple slices and...ketchup on cheesecake? I'm worried our daughter will be born with an allergy to ketchup or tomatoes," Scott chuckled at Tessa’s passion for ketchup that had recently gone from bad to worse.

 

Tessa looked over at him with a smirk as she pulled another pickle from the jar with her fingers. "You're exaggerating."

 

She proceeded to swirl the pickle in her bowl of ketchup and then seductively lick the ketchup off.

 

"Don't do _that_ with the pickle, Tess. It was funny when you were a teenager but not now.”

 

"You never had a problem when I did that to _your_ pickle,” she smirked as she dipped the pickle into the ketchup again and proceed to slowly lick it off.

 

"Ok-ayyy! Changing the subject now!" Scott insisted as he watched Tessa pull the whole pickle out of her mouth again with a pop.

 

"Rob and Gina want to know if we're doing the memorabilia displays again, they have to order the rolling cases if we are.”

 

"Can we take a little break from emails?" Tessa whined.

 

"Sure,” Scott said as he closed the lid to his laptop. He was getting tired himself.

 

"Well, I was thinking…after our little scare…I should probably get the nurs—”

 

"Yes!" Scott said eagerly.

 

"Do you want to let me finish?" Tessa asked as she pulled another pickle from the jar.

 

"Sorry, T. Go ahead.”

 

"I was thinking I should get the nursery ready,” she said between bites. “Did you want the honour of building the furniture or should I hire—”

 

"Yes! Definitely. See? My response wasn’t premature," Scott grinned.

 

Tessa rolled her eyes at Scott. "Okay, you’re in charge of building then. I selected some things online last night...do you want to see them before I ord—”

 

"Yes! Please! Do you need the room painted or anything?" he asked eagerly.

 

"Okay, we can go over what I picked out and then we can place the order this afternoon. No, I was going to leave the walls as they are. I was thinking to keep everything a calming neutral tone. Over-stimulated babies can be fussy.”

 

Scott grinned as he nodded to agree with her. “As you wish.”

 

 

**June 5, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott let himself into Tessa’s house; she had given him a key again, _just in case_. He had been stopping by every day for at least a few hours to read to the baby and to talk to her and to make sure she kept up with meeting her kick counts. They didn’t know if it was helping specifically, but it certainly wasn’t hurting. She was consistently responding to Scott’s voice, and he had been reading her a new book each time, slowly adding to her own little library. He had stayed away from singing, knowing that Tessa was very emotional right now and song lyrics had always been a touchpoint for them it seemed.

 

He called out for Tessa as he toed off his shoes at the back door, but there was no response. He wandered down the hall and saw several large cardboard boxes stacked up next to the front door.

 

“Must be the furniture,” he said out loud with a grin. He was excited to get the nursery set up; it meant they were that much closer to meeting their daughter. As he picked up one of the boxes, something blue caught his eye in the living room.

 

“What in the world?” Scott muttered as he put the box back down. “Tess?” he shouted. “Where _are_ you?”

 

“Upstairs,” he heard her call back faintly.

 

He took the stairs two at a time and called out for her again when he reached the top.

 

“I’m in the baby’s room,” she replied with a smile that he could hear.

 

Scott walked down the hallway and smiled back as she came into view, she was sitting in the blue chair in one of her spare rooms.

 

“She’s going to have this room? I thought for sure she’d get the pink room?”

 

“This one is a bit larger and I like the chandelier in here better. Did you bring your tools and muscles? You’re going to have to take apart the bed for me before you start building the crib.”

 

“I did…but Tess…what’s with the hot tub in the living room?”

 

“Hot tub?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. “There’s no hot tu— OH!” she burst out laughing, grabbing onto her belly with both hands to stop it from moving so much as her whole body heaved with laughter. “Scott!” she gasped between fits of laughter. She had tears rolling down her cheeks as the laughter started to subside, but then she looked up at Scott and saw the grin on his face and she started laughing all over again.

 

When she finally regained her composure, she managed to get out, “it’s a birthing pool!” and then started snickering again as she stood up. “Hot tub,” she muttered under her breath.

 

She walked out of the room and Scott followed her. They went down to the living room and she stood next to the birthing pool. “I had to inflate it to make sure there are no air leaks.” She then pointed to a large box in the corner of the living room. “All the birthing supplies arrived too, furniture is in the hall. There will be no hot tub parties in my living room,” she giggled.

 

Scott ran his fingers through his hair and then rubbed on his neck where he presumed the skin was flush from embarrassment. “Sorry, T.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, I needed the laugh. I wasn’t laughing _at_ you, you know that, right?”

 

“I know. So? Want me to get started upstairs?”

 

“Might as well, it will probably take a good part of the day. Want me to help?”

 

Scott eyed Tessa up and down. “I think maybe you should just sit and watch, eh? Don’t need any more hospital trips,” he reminded her as he put a hand on her belly. “How’s she doing?”

 

“Active, everything seems normal now. I’m still monitoring the kick counts.”

 

“Good. Oh! I just about forgot. I brought a little gift for the baby.”

 

“Really? What is it?”

 

Scott walked out of the living room towards the back door, where he had left the bag and Tessa followed close behind. He handed Tessa a plain white paper bag filled with pink tissue paper. “Here, open it.”

 

“Nice presentation,” she grinned as she pulled the tissue paper out, followed by a small glass jar, half full of uncooked rice. A miniature version of the bucket of rice he had given her several years ago. She frowned at it and then looked up at him for an answer.

 

“It’s for the baby’s room. Eventually I’ll get her a bigger jar and then maybe her own giant bucket, but I wanted her to know how much rice she and I have together already, even if I’m not physically here everyday to remind her.”

 

“Scott,” Tessa gasped as she looked down at the jar and then back up at Scott. “That’s so thoughtful. Thank you,” she whispered as she pulled him in for an awkward hug, her bump was really in the way now.

 

“You’re welcome, T. I thought carrying on that tradition would be—” he stopped abruptly, feeling her body shake. “No, don’t cry, Tess.”

 

She pulled away from him, her face wet with fresh tears. “They’re happy tears,” she said softly as she wiped them away with the back of her hand. “The bucket of rice had been the best gift I had ever received, but you know, I think that’s changed. I think our daughter is now the best gift. We’re both so blessed to have you in our lives, Scott.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is You Are The Reason by Calum Scott
> 
>  
> 
> Tiny jar of rice 😭


	11. A Little Splash of Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott finishes getting the baby's room ready and Tessa announces she's taking a trip...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter...but I didn't want to make you wait any longer for this update!

 

 

**June 5, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Tessa sat in the blue chair in the baby’s room with her legs propped up on a cardboard box, watching Scott take apart the bedframe her great-great-grandfather had built. She drew lazy figure eights on her belly with her finger as their daughter stretched in her cramped quarters. It was uncomfortable for Tessa, with her skin being stretched even more taught, but she was already feeling a bit sad that the end of the pregnancy was near so she was trying to relish in every moment, come what may.

 

“When the baby is older, I want her to use this bed, so please make sure you bag the hardware and tape it to the frame,” she instructed from her perch. Scott’s cheek was pressed against the floor, in between the corner of the bed and the wall and his ass was sticking straight up in the air as he fought with a wrench to loosen the last bolt. _He really does have a magnificent peach. Twitter stans are right_ , Tessa mused to herself as she enjoyed the view.

 

“Mmm-kay,” he mumbled and then sneezed and bumped his head. “I should probably vacuum the floors and baseboards for you before I set up the crib. It’s dusty down here. I want to make sure everything is clean and fresh for the baby."

 

“Sorry. I've been meaning to do a deep clean but just haven't gotten around to it with all my travelling. I really appreciate you doing all of this. I mean, certainly I _could_ have done it myself—”

 

"Tess- _ah_. You've pretty much got a watermelon strapped to your waist. You will _not_ be crawling under bed frames and lifting boxes and getting down on your hands and knees to wash baseboards. If you need to prove yourself, save it for when you're not pregnant, but I already _know_ you _can_ do all those things," Scott grunted as the bolt finally came loose.

 

Tessa opened and closed her mouth a few times before changing the subject entirely, because Scott _was_ right. "So...I was thinking of heading out to the cottage next week?"

 

"Oh?" Scott asked as he backed up on his hands and knees from where his head had been under the bottom of the headboard. "T, do you mind holding the footboard while I tug these pieces apart, please?" he asked as he stood up.

 

Tessa got up slowly and awkwardly from her chair, which was easier said than done lately thanks to her growing belly, and held onto the footboard of the bed frame with both of her hands so it wouldn't fall over when the side pieces connecting it to the headboard were removed.

 

"Yeah for a few days, or longer, depending on mom's schedule. Maybe I'll see if Jord can take some time off and join us. Just to relax a bit, have a change of scenery. That sort of thing, while we're still a ways out from delivery."

 

"Good, I mean, relaxing is good. You should do as much of that now before little kiddo arrives," Scott replied as he set the side pieces on the ground and took the footboard from Tessa and carried it out into the hallway.

 

"Little kiddo?" Tessa called out after him with a grin as she sat back down in her chair.

 

"Is that okay?" he asked as he returned for the two side pieces. "I've started calling her that in my head sometimes rather than she or her or baby. At least until we settle on a name."

 

"More than okay," Tessa nodded enthusiastically. "I suspect you'll end up giving her more nicknames than me," she laughed as she watched Scott carry the headboard out into the hallway.

 

"Probably," he grunted as he laid the heavy wooden piece on the ground, and then walked back into the room to collect the bolts. "She'll get her own, plus variations of yours. Tiny Tutu, Baby Virtch...you know, maybe we shouldn't pick a name starting with T. So she can have her own letter and it wont be as confusing? Like if I were to call out T and you both answer, you won't know which one of you I mean."

 

Tessa nodded and pulled out her phone to look at the list. "Hmm we have Tara and Tiffany. I'm okay taking those off."

 

"So no Gone with the Wind name and no Breakfast at Tiffany's name? I picked those thinking you'd be all over them," he said as he squeezed his hand gently on her neck.

 

"Audrey is still on the list," Tessa pointed out.

 

"What about Talula?" Scott joked as he bagged the bolts and put them in his pocket.

 

"It _wasn't_ on the list, but that keeps it off," Tessa rolled her eyes.

 

"Any others you want to delete while we're at it? We still have twenty nine," he reminded her with a smile as he carried one of the bedside tables out of the room.

 

Tessa looked at the list on her phone. "Hmm, Sophia, Emily, Margaret and Elizabeth I can let go."

 

"Really?" he asked as he returned for the second table. Scott was shocked; he thought those too would be top contenders.

 

"Unless any of those were your favourite?"

 

"Nope! I'm good with deleting those," he nodded.

 

"So, are you going to tell me your favourites?" she prodded as she watched him roll up the area rug and carry it out into the hall.

 

"Nope, I don’t want to sway your decision, at least until we get to ten or less."

 

"Okay, that's fair. So back to the cottage," Tessa sighed. "The only thing I'm concerned about is that we have a little routine here now and I don’t know if I should disrupt it—”

 

"The cottage isn't that far, T. I can drive out to you to keep up with my reading to the baby."

 

"I couldn't ask you to do that, Scott—”

 

"You're not asking, T. I'm offering. You know I'd do anything for her," he reminded her as he looked around the mostly empty room.

 

"Are you sure? I feel bad even considering going and being further away from you. I feel like I'm taking her away from you," Tessa said softly as she looked down at her belly and rubbed her hand over it. The baby had stopped stretching and was now kicking in three-quarter time.

 

Scott knelt down in front of Tessa, and put both hands on her belly.

 

"Tess," he said so gently and full of love, that tears sprang to her eyes. "I'm positive. It's less than an hour from my place. That's not far, and I have nothing but time right now. I can read her some books about the lake or building sandcastles or something themed like that," he smiled as he pressed several tiny kisses on her belly where he could feel the kicks.

 

"Themed?" she asked as she wiped the tears away with her fingers. "Well I'll leave that up to you to arrange. I'm sure she'd be fine listening to one of the books she already has, too."

 

"These can be cottage books. Special ones you leave there for her to read," he offered, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he grinned up at her.

 

Tessa smiled shyly at how thoughtful and forward thinking Scott was being. "That's a very sweet idea. You're going to be such an amazing dad to our daughter," she sighed as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair, fixing the stray strands that were sticking up from his crawling around on the floor and under the bedframe.

 

"And you're going to be a wonderful mother and role model."

 

 

**Later that afternoon**

 

Scott had vacuumed and washed every surface of the baby's room, insisting Tessa take a nap and not lift a finger. He claimed he had to pull his weight since she was doing the incubating and will have to do the delivery.

 

When she awoke from her nap, she padded sleepily down the hall to check on Scott. He was standing in front of the big window and staring outside, his hands tucked in the back pockets of his shorts.

 

"Oh, Scott!" she gasped softly as she looked between the vintage-inspired white iron crib and the plush ivory rocking chair and the change pad he had set up on top of the existing white dresser. "And the rug!" she exclaimed, pointing at the pale pink area rug that had been in the other spare room.

 

Scott turned around with a grin on his face. "I know you said no colour, but I thought a little splash of pink might look okay?"

 

"Yes! I love it! It's...it's..."

 

"Perfect?" he offered.

 

She nodded shyly as he crossed the room towards her. He put his hands gently on her shoulders and then ran them down her arms before she boldly closed the gap and wrapped her arms awkwardly around his body; her big bump nestled between them.

 

"Thank you so much," she whispered in his ear, her breath hot and her voice still laced with sleep.

 

"You're welcome, Virtch. You should have warned me ahead of time though."

 

"Warned you?" she asked with concern as she pulled away from him.

 

"That crib box was heavy as fuck!" he laughed.

 

 

**June 12, 2019**

**Bayfield, Ontario**

 

"I'm so sorry Tessie. I’m torn on what to do,” Jordan apologized as she paced the main floor of the cottage. She had just gotten off the phone with her office and they had a time-sensitive case they needed her help on.

 

Kate had been at the cottage with Tessa Sunday through to early Wednesday morning, but had some appointments the latter half of the week that she needed to be at in London. Jordan had driven up from Toronto late Tuesday night and was supposed to stay with Tessa for some much-needed sister time until Sunday.

 

"No, Jord they need you. You should go. I'll be fine on my own for one night. Case and Meg will be here Friday after school with Poppy and I'm pretty sure they'll bring mom with them." Tessa understood work commitments; that was all she had known since she was too young to remember not having them.

 

"I'll be back Saturday afternoon, Tessie. I promise," Jordan sighed as she pulled Tessa in for a side hug.

 

"It's fine Jojo. Let's make the most of our time tonight. Scott will be here again tomorrow afternoon too. He’s close enough if I need anything,” she reminded her older sister.

 

Jordan sighed again, not liking the idea of leaving her sister alone at the cottage. "Okay. You're right, I'm sure you'll be fine. I just worry about my little niece after that stunt she pulled two weeks ago."

 

Tessa smiled and rubbed her hand over her belly. "I've had multiple discussions with her. I'm sure she'll continue to hold up her end of our deal that she stays put until the end of July. We'll be just fine."

 

"Okay, okay. Ice cream sundaes?" Jordan offered, the thought of delving into a sinful bowl of calories to help quench the heat of the early-summer evening had been swirling around her head all day.

 

"Definitely," Tessa nodded eagerly as she made her way into the kitchen, Jordan following close behind. “But let’s go eat them on the lower deck to watch the sunset.”

 

 

**June 13, 2019**

**Just outside Bayfield, Ontario**

 

“Pick up, pick up, pi—”

 

“Hello?” a groggy voice answered.

 

“Moir? It’s Jord.”

 

Scott quickly sat up in bed, his body instantly awake and pumping with adrenalin. “Tess?” he asked worriedly.

 

“She’s fine. Listen, sorry for the early call,” Jordan apologized as she looked at the clock, it was a little before 6am. “I unexpectedly have to go back to Toronto. Tess says she’ll be fine until Casey and Megan arrive tomorrow night, but it’s not sitting well with me.”

 

“Do you want me to go check on her? I was going to head out there after lunch.”

 

“Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of you staying there with her until Friday night?” Jordan asked hopefully.

 

Scott couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jordan was telling him to go sleep with her sister. Actually no, stay the night, sleeping, but not in the same bed. But still, they were trying to not do that. To not be so close and have the temptation because clearly they had issues resisting each other.

 

“Scott? Are you still there?”

 

“Uh, yeah sorry. My mind drifted. Um, I don’t have any big plans. I can do that…but is Tess okay with that? I mean we’re sort of trying to give each other space right now.”

 

“She didn’t mention you two were fighting?” Jordan asked as she frowned. _I thought they were getting along really well the last two weeks._

 

“No…no, not fighting. Just…uh, how should I put this? I’m working on a few personal things and too much time together lately has made a negative impact in our progress?”

 

“God. I didn’t understand a word of that, Moir. You have been spending too much time with Tessie. Look, I’m not asking you to sleep with her, I’d actually prefer it if you don’t. I’m just asking you to stay at the cottage with her for one night. Make sure she and the baby stay out of trouble for today and tomorrow. Maybe cook her at least one edible meal or something? Please?”

 

Scott sighed. The Virtue women really knew how to lay it on thick to get him to easily concede and he had a feeling his daughter would be exactly the same. “Yeah, okay. Give me fifteen to get dressed and pack up. I should be at the cottage within the hour.”

 

“Thanks buddy. I owe ya!”

 

And with that Jordan disconnected the call to focus again on her driving, satisfied that Tessa would be in good hands. She then shuddered at the places those Moir hands had been on her sister. “Blah!” she pretended to gag as she cranked the music louder in her car to drown out the thoughts of Tessa and Scott doing things she would rather not think about.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Scott throws an epic party to christen his finally-finished house and to celebrate Canada Day


	12. A Stranger with Dark Hair and Kind Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa is shocked when a stranger arrives at the cottage

 

 

**June 13, 2019**

**Bayfield, Ontario**

 

Scott pulled into the driveway at the cottage a little after 7am and then called Jordan to let her know he had arrived. He sat in his car after he hung up, contemplating on whether or not he should dare ring the doorbell so early and have to face the wrath of a potentially grumpy Tessa.

 

"Maybe if I flash her my saddest puppy dog eyes…or maybe I could...yes!" he snapped his fingers and grinned as an idea popped into his head.

 

Tessa grumbled as she heard the doorbell, wondering why someone was ringing her bell so early in the morning; she didn't interact much with her neighbours. _Unless there was some sort of emergency?_ She hefted her body out of bed and wrapped her cotton robe around her pajamas, barely getting a bow tied in the sash due to her bump. She made her way down the stairs as the bell rang again.

 

"I'll be there in a minute!" she shouted, hoping they would hear her and not leave. If she made this much effort to get out of bed and walk towards the door, they may as well wait.

 

She looked through the window and then frowned and blinked and looked again. "Scott?" she called out in disbelief, unsure if it was really him or just a figment of her imagination.

 

"It's me, Virtch."

 

Tessa unlocked the door and flung it open. She looked Scott up and down. _He seems okay? Maybe he is here with bad news? Oh God._

 

Scott watched Tessa's face go from confused to blanched.

 

"No, no. Everything's fine," he said gently as he wrapped his hand around her wrist. He could feel her pulse beating rapidly beneath his fingers. "I'm sorry to have woken you up, Jordan asked if I would—”

 

"Babysit me?" she asked dryly as one eyebrow went up.

 

Scott shook his head. "Cook you breakfast?" he asked hopefully. "And then maybe lunch and dinner too?"

 

Tessa conceded and laughed. "Okay, come in."

 

"Wait, can we start over?"

 

She furrowed her brow. "Start over from where?"

 

"The beginning," Scott grinned as he pulled the door shut and rang the doorbell again.

 

Tessa sighed and opened the door, _it is far too early for games_.

 

"Morning ma'am," Scott said as he tipped a pretend hat at Tessa. "Name's Scott, I'm not from around these here parts. I'm sorry to have bothered you but I was wondering if you might have a room to let for the night?"

 

Tessa snickered, she had no idea what Scott was up to, but he sounded like he was acting out a part from a black and white film, and she was intrigued enough to play along to see where this would go. They had done some role playing in the past to get into their skating characters, and while this was slightly different without the skating aspect, it was still similar. "I'm not sure I should be letting strangers into my home, sir,” she narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms in front of her body.

 

"Well…you know my name? So I'm not a complete stranger. Maybe we could get to know each other better over breakfast? If you have a couple of eggs and some bread for toasting, I could whip you up a fine meal fit for a queen."

 

"Alright," Tessa nodded as she held out her hand towards Scott. "Miss Virtue, but you may call me Tess."

 

Scott accepted her hand in his and placed a gentle kiss to the back of it, all while keeping his eyes locked on Tessa's.

 

"Pleased to meet you, Tess. Well, if you show me towards your kitchen, I'll get started."

 

*

 

"Poached eggs on toast is my favourite," Tessa grinned at Scott between bites of her breakfast. "How did you know?"

 

"Lucky guess, ma'am. Cooked to your liking?"

 

"They are," she nodded.

 

"More ketchup?" Scott asked as he handed her the bottle, already knowing full-well she would.

 

She accepted it and squirted more onto her plate. "Where are you from, Scott?"

 

"I’m a small town boy, a good half-day's walk from here."

 

"You walked all that way? You must be dog-tired. I could definitely put you up in one of my spare rooms for the night."

 

"Thank you, that's very kind of you ma'am."

 

"Please, call me Tess. No need to be so formal. So, Scott, do you have a family?"

 

Scott shook his head. "I live alone, my parents live nearby though. No family of my own just yet," he said eyeing her belly.

 

"Oh,” she said softly as she put her hand on her belly, in a slightly protective way. “Well perhaps after we're done eating we could go down to the lake? I could show you around the property?"

 

"I'd like that very much,” he winked at her as he leaned back in his chair.

 

*

 

"Beautiful place you have here, Miss Tess. Now what's a pretty dame like you doing out here in this big estate all alone?" Scott asked as they finished their walk, stopping at the bottom of the private staircase that led back up to the cottage.

 

Tessa turned to him and shrugged. "I suppose I'm just waiting for the right fellow to come along and sweep me off my feet? Maybe a stranger with dark hair and kind eyes?"

 

Scott reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind Tessa's ear and then ran the back of his hand over her cheek and along her jaw. They were still in character, and he felt he had some liberties with how far he could go, so he took a leap of faith. He knew they could just blame this on being in character if it didn't work out, just like on the ice. He was ready to inch forward in real life too, if she was.

 

"Would it be alright if this dark-haired stranger gave you a kiss?"

 

"A kiss?" she asked, shocked that he had even suggested it, given how they had agreed to go slow. But, perhaps as part of their _character_ , it would be okay.

 

"Right here," he said quietly as he pressed his finger over her lips.

 

“I suppose so,” she nodded and met him halfway. Their lips joined together for a brief moment before he pulled away first, not wanting to take things _too_ far with their _characters_.

 

"That was…nice,” she said softly as she twirled the rings on her finger. “I enjoyed getting to know you this morning, Scott. You seem like a swell guy."

 

"Full disclosure, sometimes I can be an ass, but I'm really trying to change. Maybe one day I can find myself a woman to love me, even with my faults."

 

"I do," she whispered, avoiding eye contact with Scott.

 

"You do, what?" he asked as he cupped her chin in his hand and brought her gaze up to meet his.

 

"I love you, Scott…and your faults.”

 

Scott was slightly taken aback with her admittance. He knew that they did _love_ each other, but she wasn’t the one to just throw those words casually around. "Are we still in character here, or?"

 

Tessa shrugged as her eyes went wide and she realized she had very much blurred the line between real life and their characters. "End scene?" she offered as her face flushed.

 

Scott grinned, he was pretty sure that wasn't her character talking. "How about we get you in out of the heat. Maybe a nice glass of lemonade?"

 

"Sure," Tessa replied, her mouth parched from the awkwardness they had just barely avoided as she led the way up the stairs.

 

Half-way up Tessa stopped abruptly and Scott nearly ran into the back of her.

 

"Everything okay, T?" he asked, putting his hand on her lower back.

 

Tessa wasn't sure exactly, it was something she definitely hadn’t felt before, but before she could figure out what it was, everything was back to normal.

 

"Uh, yeah," she muttered and kept walking up the steps.

 

As they sat on the porch swing together sipping on their lemonade, Tessa felt it again. She grunted softly at the feeling but it wasn't really painful. She put her hand on her belly and it felt tight. She scowled at her belly; silently willing whatever this was to stop.

 

"Tess? What's wrong?" he asked, putting his hand next to hers.

 

"I'm not sure?" she whispered as she shook her head.

 

"It feels—”

 

"Different," she finished for him.

 

"Have you had this before?"

 

"Just once, on the steps as we were walking up but I—”

 

"Oh, it’s gone!” he gasped in confusion. “Are you in pain? Should we head back to the city? Do you think it’s—”

 

"Labour?" she cut in. "I’m not sure. I guess we should record and monitor this for a bit and then give Andrea a call. Maybe it won't happen again, who knows?"

 

"Yeah, okay. You're right, it could be nothing, but the second you think it could be _something_ , I'm driving you home."

 

Tessa could hear the panic in his voice. "Just breathe, Scott. I'm sure it's nothing."

 

Scott nodded as he tried to stay calm. He opened the notepad on his phone, in case she—

 

"Again," she whispered, putting both hands on her belly.

 

Scott wrote down the start time and end time. This happened two more times over the next thirty minutes.

 

"It's very irregular, both in duration and frequency but I think you should call Andrea anyways, just to be sure," Scott insisted.

 

"I'm not having this baby today or this week."

 

"Are you in denial or are you just trying to will her to stay inside," Scott chuckled.

 

"Both!" she grumbled. "Also I will legit never hear the end of it from Jord if I _am_ in labour. She'll get all _I told you so_ on me because she had this bad feeling about leaving me alone at the cottage."

 

"Just relax and focus on _your_ breathing. Stress isn't good, Virtch."

 

“I know,” she huffed as she pulled out her phone and tapped on Andrea’s number and then put the call on speakerphone.

 

After discussing the symptoms with Tessa, Andrea came to her conclusion.

 

“Sounds like Braxton Hicks, Tess. If you get regular contractions though, please do head back into the city but let Scott drive, okay?"

 

Tessa laughed as she disconnected the call, she felt relieved that at least for now she wasn't experiencing labour.

 

"Well I suppose that’s a taste of what’s to come," Scott chuckled with his own relief.

 

"They were not _too_ bad, I can more than handle _that_ ," Tessa boasted.

 

"I think real contractions are worse, T," Scott rubbed his hand over Tessa’s belly and was rewarded with a kick.

 

"Let's not think of that right now. Lunch perhaps? And then a rousing game of Scrabble?"

 

*

 

Scott leaned on the doorframe to Tessa’s bedroom, and collected himself as he went back into character again. “So, Miss Tess, I know we just met, but I suppose I should stay close tonight, just in case.”

 

Tessa swallowed thickly, she was not getting back into character. Not when real life was now feeling somewhat out of control to her. "Do you think,” she started as she nervously smoothed her shirt over her bump. “Do you think I could go into labour tonight?" _I’m not ready yet._

 

"No," he said as he crossed the room and put his hand on her arm. He broke character sensing she was no longer in the right frame of mind to play games. "I mean, I hope not. But if I'm on the main floor and you're upstairs and I don't hear you...if you need something..."

 

"It's a king bed. Logically we could each take a side and sleep... _platonically?"_ she offered.

 

"For the baby," he clarified.

 

"Right. For the baby," Tessa nodded.

 

 

**June 14, 2019**

**Bayfield, Ontario**

 

Scott was awake and out of bed long before Tessa started stirring. He wanted to respect her space, they both managed to stay on their own sides of the bed thanks to the line of pillows Scott suggested they put down the middle of the bed to separate them. Tessa had wanted to tell him that it really wasn't necessary, that she could _probably_ keep herself from accidentally snuggling him in the middle of the night, but she could tell he was trying to make sure nothing happened while they were still mending their personal relationship. They were not ready for the next steps yet, he had promised her he would work on himself first.

 

Scott had a shower and got dressed before making a pot of coffee and rounding up ingredients to make omelettes for whenever she wandered downstairs. He figured he would take his mug of coffee and notebook and sit outside on the porch for his _Scott time_ before Tessa woke up.

 

After leaving a note for Tessa on the kitchen counter, he went outside and breathed in deeply. The morning air was crisp and fresh and it invigorated him in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time. He stood staring out at the lake for a while, sipping on his coffee.

 

"Did you ever figure out what makes you happy?" she asked from the other side of the open screen door, her voice still laced with sleep.

 

Scott jumped and nearly spilled his coffee on himself.

 

"Jesus T. Still stealth as ever, eh?"

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” she apologized as she opened the door and joined him out on the porch.

 

"How did you sleep?" he asked as he put down his coffee mug and put both hands around her belly and gave it a kiss.

 

"About the same as usual. Tossing and turning and hosting mini dance parties in my belly most of the night.”

 

Scott smiled. "Any more Braxton Hicks contractions though?"

 

“Not yet. Hoping it stays that way.”

 

“Tess…”

 

“What is it?” she asked, furrowing her brow with concern at the tone of his voice.

 

Scott stepped back to get a good look at Tessa. "T…your belly is lower. Like, a lot. I think the baby finally dropped.”

 

"Really?" Tessa asked excitedly. She took in a deep breath to test out his theory. "I can breathe easier so you might be right!”

 

Scott led Tessa to the love seat on the porch and grinned at her as they both sat down. "Countdown is really on now. I'm excited to hold her in my arms, T.”

 

Tessa nodded. “Me too, although part of me wants the pregnancy to never end. I’ve sort of come to enjoy parts of it.” She looked wistfully down at her belly. “So, did you figure out what makes you happy?”

 

"I do have some things written down," he admitted as he reached for his notebook.

 

“Do you want to share them with me?”

 

Scott looked at Tessa. "Sure," he nodded. "My notebook is half full, mostly doodles but I do have some serious thoughts in here,” he smirked.

 

“I’m really proud of you for doing this, Scott,” she encouraged as she rubbed her hand on his knee.

 

"What makes me happy," Scott read the first line from his notebook and then looked up at Tessa. She nodded for him to continue.

 

"Tessa, skating with T, thinking about our daughter,” he paused and looked up at Tessa again. “Those first three things came to me immediately, and then I really had to think. These are the others I came up with, the Leafs, playing ball with the Maniacs, beer league hockey, working on projects (especially with T), having a purpose, feeling needed and wanted, accomplishing goals, being surrounded by my family and friends.”

 

“Those are all good things, Scott. I’m proud of you. How do you feel about your list?”

 

“I feel…satisfied. I’m still adding to it. Just before you came out here, I was thinking I should add early mornings and being at the lake onto my list.”

 

“It’s sometimes the simple things we forget to acknowledge, isn’t it?”

 

Scott nodded as he wrote those two things in his notebook. “So, my therapist wants me to implement some of the things that make me happy.”

 

“That sounds like a good plan, do you know how you’re going to do that?”

 

“Well, one of the first things I want to do is throw an open house at my place now that it’s finished, or will be as soon as the living room furniture arrives, combined with a Canada Day party. Most of my family is on board, even though they usually camp that weekend. They were willing to come home early to be at my party, it’s on a Monday this year. I was wondering if you’d be in town? If you wanted to come?”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it. I’d love to be there,” she grinned at him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed I finally added a total chapter count! Just two more to go!
> 
> Next chapter: Scott hosts a huge Canada Day bash


	13. Stronger Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott makes personal progress and relationship progress with Tessa.  
> The parents-to-be finally decide on a name!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things you need to know for this chapter: Skate Canada’s National Coaching Certification Program is the “NCCP” Scott refers to.
> 
>  
> 
> **CHAPTER RATING WARNING**: the ending becomes more "mature" in regards to the pregnancy. It leads in slow talking about oil, so you’ll get the idea where you need to dip out if required

 

 

**June 14, 2019**

**Bayfield, Ontario**

 

“Scott!” Kate called out into the yard where Scott was talking to Casey. She waved him over towards her. So he put down his bottle of water and jogged over, wondering what she needed.

 

“I wanted to thank you for coming out to stay with Tessa at the cottage. Jordan’s intuition was right.”

 

“Don’t mention it…nothing happened between us though,” Scott offered immediately as if he were a guilty fifteen year old.

 

“I wasn’t going to go there, but since you brought it up, I’m glad to hear that.”

 

Scott rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward for immediately bringing up sex; it was just on his brain. _A lot_. He knew he had to quickly circle back to her initial topic in order to fix this awkwardness between them. “I’m relieved I was here and that she didn’t have to go through that alone, although I was probably more scared about the Braxton Hicks contractions than Tess was,” Scott chuckled nervously.

 

Kate looked down at her sunglasses that were clutched in her hands and then back up at Scott. “Look…Scott, the two of you have always been stronger together…and when you work together as a team. I hope you continue to work on yourselves both separately and together. You both will make wonderful parents to that little girl,” Kate reassured Scott as she pulled him in for a tight hug. “And I want you to know that I’m proud of the work you’re doing.”

 

“That means a lot, coming from you, Kate. Thank you.” Scott truly appreciated all the love and support the whole Virtue family had always given him, especially Kate.

 

 

**June 18, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

“You were right, I do feel less grumpy now that I’m eating Oreo ice cream,” Tessa grinned at Scott as she licked her spoon clean.

 

Scott closed his eyes against the sun that was shining brightly, warming the patio in front of the London Ice Cream Company. They were sitting at a pink picnic table while Tessa enjoyed her cup of ice cream. “Change of scenery doesn’t hurt, eh?”

 

Tessa nodded. “Are you sure you don’t want some?” she asked, holding out a spoonful of ice cream towards Scott.

 

“Nope, all yours, Virtch. You know, I think you’re just so used to a busy lifestyle, always on the go and somewhere to be. Hanging out at home is too boring for you.”

 

“Yeah, I am a little bored. We don’t have much planning left for the tour and I took a bit of a hiatus from the majority of my sponsors and what I have left to do isn’t nearly enough to keep me busy all day, every day. At least I have you to entertain me,” she laughed as she playfully kicked her foot into his shin under the table.

 

“Well, I won’t be _that_ available in the next little while, but I’ll still keep up my reading to the baby.”

 

“Oh?” she frowned. “Are you going somewhere?”

 

“No, no,” he reassured her as he put his hand over Tessa’s where it was resting on the top of the picnic table. “I’ve just decided it’s time for me to do the NCCP. I’ve also accepted more team consulting at the Cricket Club, some in person and some through video, and I’ll be at Gadbois again at the end of August. I need this for _me_ , but I think it will be good for _us_ too.”

 

“Scott!” Tessa gasped. “I’m so proud of you! You’ll officially be Coach Scott,” she grinned. “It has a nice ring to it.”

 

“Thanks. It makes me happy to know that I’m helping the next generation of ice dancers skate to their fullest potential.”

 

 

**June 23, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott had his head laying on what was left of Tessa’s lap, her big belly occupying the rest. His mouth was close to her bump as he read a Pride and Prejudice board book to the baby. Each page had a single word on it. “Friends, dance, marry,” he read out loud as he turned the pages. “You know, I can’t decide if these little yarn dolls are creepy-looking or cute.”

 

Tessa looked down at the page he was holding up. “They’re needle felted and I think they’re sweet. I would love to have a doll house and little dolls like that for our daughter to play with one day.”

 

“Consider it bought. I just have to figure out who sells them.”

 

“Etsy, probably,” Tessa mused as she envisioned a little girl with auburn pigtails and green eyes moving the dolls around a wooden house filled with miniature furniture.

 

“I don’t know who she is, but maybe you can just send me the link?”

 

Tessa laughed and the baby kicked Scott in the nose.

 

“Ouch baby!” he laughed. “Hey, T?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“We only have eight names left on the list.”

 

“Mmm-hmm.”

 

“What if we make it a game? We each pick one name and combine them, first and middle name. For example, I pick Katherine and you pick Audrey and we write down Katherine Audrey. So we see what the names might sound like all together. That might help us narrow it down further?”

 

“Okay, sure. Let’s try that,” Tessa nodded as she agreed to his suggestion.

 

Scott reached over to the coffee table to grab his phone and pulled up their list. “You go first, T. Choose a name and tell me first or middle.” He held up his phone for Tessa to see the eight names they had left.

 

“Eleanor,” she offered. “I really like that one, I’d have to say it’s a top contender for me as a first name.”

 

“Your grandma meant a lot to you. I understand why you like it. I’m not at all opposed,” Scott said as he kissed Tessa’s belly.

 

“Yeah, I still miss her terribly.”

 

“I know,” Scott said softly as he took Tessa’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze for a few moments before looking back at his phone. “Uh, so one of my top picks is Ruby…because my favourite colour is red,” Scott offered as he pressed another kiss to Tessa’s belly and was rewarded with a kick. “Hey! I think she likes it?”

 

“Eleanor Ruby?” Tessa suggested as she scrunched up her nose. “I don’t know. It doesn’t flow very well.”

 

Scott scratched his fingers through his hair. “So…something we didn’t ever discuss was the last name. I guess I assumed you’d go with Virtue?” Scott asked, as he looked up at Tessa and blinked his hazel puppy dog eyes at her.

 

Tessa let out a soft sigh, she had dreaded them having this discussion but felt they were now in a good place with their relationship and she knew the _right_ thing to do.

 

“Initially, yes,” she admitted. “I was leaning towards going with Virtue, but only because you were not really in the picture but I think now a compromise makes more sense, especially since we’re...we’re… _us_ again.” She gently combed her fingers through his hair; fixing the pieces he had sticking up. “What about if we do the hyphen thing and go with Virtue-Moir?” she offered.

 

Scott nuzzled his nose against Tessa’s belly as tears filled his eyes. “Thank you T, I’d really love that. Hey baby girl, what do you think of Virtue-Moir?”

 

She kicked again and Scott took that to mean yes. “Okay, Virtue-Moir it is!” he chuckled and then looked up at Tessa. “Eleanor Ruby Virtue-Moir?”

 

“No,” Tessa said shaking her head. “Just doesn’t flow.”

 

“Ruby Eleanor Virtue-Moir?” he offered as an alternative, his mouth once again pressed up against her belly.

 

Tessa was quiet so Scott looked up at her. She had her hand over her mouth as she tried to stifle a grin.

 

“Okay, I think we have a winner? Ruby Virtue-Moir?” he asked, grinning back at her.

 

Tessa nodded as tears ran down her cheeks. “Yes, I love it. I don’t want to try any other combinations.”

 

“Well that was a short game!” Scott laughed.

 

 

**June 26, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

 **Tessa:** Hi 😁

 

 **Scott MOir:** Hey

 

 **Scott MOir:** Everything okay?

 

 **Tessa:** Yup! Sorry it’s late, I couldn’t sleep. I booked a little photoshoot with Danielle 🙈

 

 **Scott MOir:** I thought you weren’t doing any more shoots?

 

 **Tessa:** I asked her…okay more like begged her 😬, to do a maternity shoot. She said it’s not really her thing, but I know she won’t ask any questions and can keep it a secret 🙈

 

 **Scott MOir:** Cool

 

 **Scott MOir:** Everyone knows about the baby though T

 

 **Tessa:** Well…there’s one more thing 😳

 

 **Scott MOir:** Oh?

 

 **Tessa:** I was hoping you would join me at the shoot? I know photoshoots are not your favourite, but I want to do that pose with my hands in a shape of a heart over my belly and it just doesn’t seem right to do it without your hands around mine 💗

 

Tessa waited nearly five minutes for a response from Scott, but nothing. She wasn’t sure if that was good thing or a bad thing and she knew she just should have waited until she saw him in person the next morning, but she was just too excited to keep it from him.

 

 **Tessa:** Did you get my last message about the hands on my belly? 🖐🏼🤰🏻🖐🏼

 

 **Scott MOir:** Yeah sorry

 

 **Scott MOir:** I started crying and couldn’t see the letters on my screen to type back

 

 **Tessa:** Aww, Scott 🤧 💗

 

 **Tessa:** So that’s a yes? 🤞🏼😘

 

 **Scott MOir:** Yes! I’d love to be there. Just let me know the date and time I should pick you up

 

 

 

**July 1, 2019**

**Ilderton, Ontario**

 

Tessa pulled her car into Scott’s driveway. She was a little nervous, she hadn’t been to his place in…well, she couldn’t remember exactly. _Last summer_ , she decided. _Nearly a year ago._ Scott had purposely kept her away from his house since their return from Newfoundland. He told her that he wanted to make sure every last detail was finished before she saw it.

 

She took a deep breath and got out of her car, grabbing her purse and the bags of food she had insisted on bringing. As she waited for Scott to answer the doorbell, she shifted her weight from foot to foot. _It’s just Scott. Relax._

 

“T!” Scott shouted with a huge smile on his face as he flung the door open. “Here, let me help you. You didn’t have to make anything,” he laughed as he took the bags from Tessa’s hands.

 

“Funny, Moir. You _know_ I didn’t; I picked it up on the way.”

 

“Come on in, make yourself at home,” he chuckled over his shoulder as he carried the bags into the kitchen.

 

“Wow, Scott!” Tessa gasped as she looked around. “What a difference since I was last here. Everything looks amazing.” She walked through the now furnished living room noting his choice of muted colours, mostly greys and soft blues. She nodded with approval as her eyes flitted over every surface. She made her way towards the kitchen, smiling at the framed Leafs jersey hanging on the wall, one of the personal Moir jerseys he had received over the years.

 

“Thanks T,” Scott grinned as he wrapped his arms around Tessa from behind. “I’m not sure why, but I kept everything that you had picked out last spring,” he said softly against her ear.

 

Tessa looked around the kitchen. White shaker maple cabinets, brushed nickel hardware, integrated appliances, marble counter tops. He was right. Every single thing that she had suggested, he had implemented. “I love it, Scott. All of it, you did a really good job decorating…and finishing the renovation.”

 

“It feels like home now, but I think that’s because you helped pick or inspire all of the details. Everything in this house reminds me of you…and you are my home.”

 

Tessa blushed slightly at his words. _You’re my home too,_ she thought.

 

“Come, I’ll give you the full tour?” he whispered in her ear and then pulled away, lacing his fingers with hers, marking the return of their special handhold.

 

He took her upstairs and showed off his modestly decorated bedroom, just a king bed and one side table for now, and then the three other empty bedrooms. “I’ll probably make one of these rooms into an office,” he beamed proudly.

 

“For Coach Scott?” Tessa asked with a grin as she bumped her shoulder against Scott’s.

 

“Yup. I’ll need a place to hang my certificates and I’ll need someone to help me pick out furniture for my office.”

 

“I’m sure I have time to do some online shopping for you,” Tessa laughed as she pressed a kiss to Scott’s cheek.

 

“T, you’re the best. Maybe one of these rooms could be for our little girl someday too,” he suggested hopefully as he watched for her reaction. He didn’t want to assume they would be living together, but still held out hope that one day they would. Either at her place or his, it didn’t matter to him, just as long as they were together.

 

A shy grin crept across Tessa’s face. “I do picture us all together under one roof eventually,” she admitted quietly as she squeezed Scott’s hand with hers.

 

Scott pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Together,” he repeated back one of their keywords.

 

She nodded and pointed out the window. “Are you going to show me around outside too?”

 

*

 

“Lots of room for lots of Moirs,” Tessa laughed as Scott toured her around the big backyard.

 

“The Moir the merrier!” Scott laughed. “Your family is stopping by tonight too, right?”

 

“Yup, the boys and Mom for sure. Jord had some Barre classes in Toronto and I’m not sure she’ll do the drive out. Oh! Is that a swing?” Tessa gasped as she pointed to the freestanding cushioned porch swing that Scott and his dad had set up next to the grove of trees lining the back of his property.

 

“It is, maybe later we can snuggle on it. First I need your help setting up the food and drinks, people should be here soon.”

 

*

 

The party was in full swing, the main rooms of the house were filled with people and loud music, and so was the outside. Kids were running around the yard, there were heated games of ladder ball and jumbo Jenga happening and the refreshments were flowing generously.

 

“Lots of rooms here Scott,” Adam laughed as he clapped Scott on the back. “You gonna fill them with little ones some day?”

 

Scott looked across the yard at Tessa; she was busy chatting with Cara and Alma and had seemed to be enjoying her time getting reacquainted with his family and friends.

 

“Maybe someday,” Scott smiled as he kept his gaze fixed on Tessa. “Gotta find myself a woman who's willing first.” While he trusted Adam, he wasn’t ready yet to tell him the good news about Tessa and the baby.

 

*

 

"Hey, there you are,” Scott said as he rubbed his hand on Tessa’s shoulder. “I've been looking for you. I thought maybe you snuck out and went home.”

 

"Without saying goodbye?" she grinned up at him. "Not a chance."

 

"Are you doing okay?" he asked, as he moved his hand slowly down her bare arm and then held onto her wrist, feeling her pulse beat steadily under his fingertips. He was loving the red sundress she had on, it reminded him of the one she wore last year to the Thank You Ilderton party, but this one had room to accommodate their daughter.

 

"Yup, I was just sitting inside for a bit to cool down in the AC and ended up getting stuck chatting to Nicole's mom. She had lots of well-meaning baby advice to pass on. Everything is fine though," she reassured him, rubbing her hand over her belly.

 

"Good...good. So, uh, a bunch of us are heading out to the Lucan fireworks shortly. Did you want to come with me?"

 

“I absolutely do! I thought you’d never ask!” Tessa laughed as she playfully poked her finger at his shoulder.

 

*

 

As they drove down the country road towards Lucan, Scott felt nervous. He had been working something through in his mind all day and wanted to choose just the right words because this was _important_ , but he was running out of time as they were almost at their destination and the night was nearly over. He reached towards Tessa and put his hand on her knee to ground himself. It gave him the courage to give it a go. “T, I wanted to ask you something.”

 

“Oh? What’s that?”

 

“I wanted to go about things like a normal couple, or _potential_ couple, would. I wanted…” he paused to take a deep breath in and out to calm himself. “Would you consider going on a date with me? Like a real, old-fashioned date. I bring you flowers and take you to dinner and maybe we end the night with a kiss?”

 

Tessa grinned at Scott and nodded. “I’d love that.”

 

Scott didn’t look over at Tessa, but he could hear the smile in her voice. “Good,” he breathed out with relief, squeezing her knee with his hand. “Tomorrow night?”

 

“You waste no time, Moir,” Tessa laughed.

 

“We’ve wasted enough time over the years and I think it would be easier on _us_ if we were _great_ before our little Ruby arrives. We’ve got about a month, so…no pressure?” he stole a quick glance at Tessa and she was still grinning.

 

“I agree. I think you’ve proved yourself over this last month and a bit, I mean, neither of us are _fixed_ , but who isn’t a work in progress, right?”

 

Scott put the truck in park along side the grassy area where the fireworks would soon be on display and turned to look at Tessa. “Very true,” he smiled and leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. He got out of the truck and ran around to the other side to help her down, which she let him do because she was extra clumsy now that her belly was _ginormous_ , as Poppy had put it earlier in the day.

 

“Let me just grab the chairs from the back,” Scott reached into the bed but came up empty handed. “Aww fuck!” he swore out loud as he slammed his palm against the side of the truck bed. “I forgot to put the chairs in.”

 

“It’s okay. We can sit on the grass like regular people,” she laughed.

 

“Are you sure, T?” he asked, putting a hand on her belly. He was concerned about it not being comfortable enough for her.

 

“Yes, it’s fine. There isn’t time to drive back to your place to get them before the fireworks start.”

 

Scott conceded and laced his fingers through Tessa’s, not wanting her to stumble in the dark as they walked through the park.

 

“Here?” he asked, pointing at a patch of grass on the side of the hill with a perfect view of where the fireworks would be in about five minutes.

 

“Looks as good as any. Help me down please?”

 

Scott helped lower Tessa onto the grass and then nestled himself behind her. “There, I can be your chair,” he whispered as he tucked his chin on her shoulder and locked their hands together over her belly.

 

“Comfiest chair ever,” she whispered back into his ear. “Thank you for literally having my back.”

 

“Any time, T.”

 

The fireworks show was the typical Canada Day spectacular. Lots of cheers from the crowd for the really large and extra loud displays of colour. As Tessa and Scott watched the finale, she snuggled a little closer to him.

 

“Cold?” he asked, his mouth pressed right against her ear so she could hear him.

 

“Mmm-hmm,” she hummed as she closed her eyes to commit this night to memory. “A little.”

 

“You’re not sleeping are you?” he asked as he felt her lashes against his jaw.

 

“No, shhh, it’s almost over,” she insisted as she opened her eyes and watched the last few fireworks shoot up into the air and then fade into puffs of smoke, drifting away into the night sky.

 

“Another Canada Day in the books, eh Virtch?” Scott asked, making no effort to get up.

 

Tessa didn’t answer but turned her body slightly and threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. She looked into his hazel eyes; they appeared nearly black in the dimly lit park. She pulled his mouth towards hers, but stopped just before their lips touched. “I’m going to kiss you now,” she whispered and then closed the gap with a passionate kiss.

 

“Kissing _before_ our first date?” he gasped as she released him.

 

“I guess we do things backwards?” she offered with a shrug and a smirk.

 

“Yeah, you’re already pregnant with our first child,” he laughed as he pulled her in for another kiss. _God I missed kissing her._

 

She pushed him away. “Wait, _first_ child?”

 

Scott felt his neck flush and was grateful for the cloak of night to hide behind. “Well…you said you enjoyed being pregnant. Maybe one day you’ll want to do it again?” he asked hopefully.

 

“Maybe,” she shrugged and then tucked her head in the crook of his neck.

 

 

**July 2, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott buttoned up his suit jacket after stepping out of his freshly washed truck. He smoothed his tie and took in a deep breath before reaching across to the passenger seat to grab the bouquet of peonies he had picked up for Tessa.

 

Lately he had just been letting himself in through her back door with his key, but tonight was special. He stood on her steps at the front door, waiting for her to answer the doorbell he had just rung. He knew it would have been easier for _her_ if he had just gone around back, but he was trying to do this _right_.

 

Tessa opened the door and her heart started beating a little faster as she took in the sight of Scott, dressed in one of her favourite suits, wearing the tie she had bought him in Belgium last year.

 

“Hello handsome,” she grinned.

 

“Hello gorgeous,” he returned and then tugged on the sleeve of her white fluffy bathrobe. “You might be a little underdressed though if you were planning on wearing this to Abruzzi.”

 

Tessa laughed a huge belly laugh. “Goof! Come inside.”

 

Scott handed her the bouquet, wrapped in brown paper. “These are for you,” he said beamed as he kissed her cheek.

 

“Thank you,” she smiled at him as she accepted the package. They were doing this the _right_ way, like _normal_ adults, and it made her happy.

 

*

 

“I had a really great time tonight. Great company and great conversation,” Tessa sighed contentedly as Scott pulled his truck back into her driveway.

 

“Me too, maybe we could do it again sometime?” he asked playfully with one eyebrow raised.

 

Tessa laughed. “Definitely.”

 

“Just one more thing.”

 

“Oh? What’s that?” she asked as the air escaped her lungs. She knew what it was; she had been anticipating it all evening.

 

Scott put his finger under her chin, tugging her a little closer as he leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips that quickly turned into tongues mingling and heated breaths mixing. Tessa was making soft moaning and mewling noises that Scott just couldn’t get enough of. He’d waited so long to hear some of his favourite sounds again and he’d do anything he could to hear them more often.

 

She pulled away first, “I should go,” she panted.

 

“So soon?”

 

“Unless you want to clean up the mess my bladder is going to make on your truck seat, yes.”

 

Scott pouted but got out of his truck to run around to her side to help her down. He pulled her in for another quick kiss before whispering, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

 

“Definitely,” she grinned.

 

 

 

**July 3, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott was sitting at Tessa’s kitchen island, reading through his emails when he heard her stomping down the stairs. She came around the corner and into the kitchen and threw a plastic bowl of oil into the sink in anger.

 

“Whoa! What are you doing there T-Bone?”

 

“I’m fed up! I’m done being pregnant!” she barked.

 

“Hey, now,” he said gently as he got off the stool and put his hands on Tessa’s shoulders. He looked into her green eyes; they were ablaze with fury. “What’s all this about?”

 

Tessa sighed dramatically. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

 

“I thought we weren’t going to hide anything from each other?”

 

Tessa sighed even louder. “Fine. I can’t do my stretching. I just can’t physically reach there properly anymore because of my big belly and if I don’t do my stretching then I’m going to tear and—”

 

“Shh, it’s okay,” he tried to calm her as he massaged his fingers against her tense shoulder muscles. “I know you’re frustrated. Maybe I can help? What kind of stretching?”

 

Tessa looked between Scott and the bowl in the sink and back at Scott. “Perineum?” she winced as she said the word, knowing Scott would likely not know what that was.

 

Scott wrinkled his nose. “I couldn’t even guess where on your body that is, Virtch. A little help?”

 

Tessa sighed. “Your dick is well acquainted with that area.”

 

Scott’s eyes went wide and then he looked at the bowl in the sink and swallowed thickly, scratching his fingers through his hair. He still didn’t know where _exactly_ she meant, but he had a general idea now. “You’re gonna have to give me a bit more info and walk me through this, but we’re partners. If it needs to be done, then let’s approach this like a team and go do it. No need to make this into something awkward,” he insisted as he picked up the bowl from the sink, mostly trying to convince himself he could be adult about this and not turn into a horny teenager.

 

“Really?” Tessa gasped as tears filled her eyes. “You’d do that for me?”

 

“Yes! Now go back upstairs, before I change my mind,” he smirked as he pinched her ass with his fingers.

 

*

 

“Not gonna lie, T. This is really turning me on,” Scott grinned as he looked up at Tessa from behind her belly. She had her knees bent as she laid on her back on her bed and Scott was massaging the area below her vagina, stretching it gently with his thumbs as she had instructed him to do, to hopefully avoid it tearing when she delivered the baby.

 

Tessa didn’t answer. She continued to stare at the ceiling and focus on her breathing. _We’re not ready to be re-introducing sex_ , she kept telling herself. That was the logical part of her brain. The illogical part was silently screaming at Scott, wanting him to just lick off the oil that he had smearing all over her with his tongue and then proceed to give her multiple orgasms with said tongue.

 

“You doing okay, T?”

 

“Yup,” she managed to squeak out. “I think we’re done for today.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, you probably should stop before I do or say something I’ll regret, but I do appreciate you taking care of that for me. Best partner ever?” Tessa looked down towards Scott but his head was still hidden behind her belly. “Scott?”

 

She watched as his hair slowly came into view and then his eyebrows. He wiggled them at her and she started laughing.

 

“It’s not like I haven’t been down here before, T,” he smirked as he started wiping her up with a towel.

 

“I know, it’s just…I could use _more_ than just stretching but we really shouldn’t.”

 

“So, is there a certain milestone you want to hit before you deem it acceptable to have sex again?” he asked as he tapped the back of his hand on the inside of Tessa’s knee to let her know he was done and she could get up.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe after the second date?”

 

“Is that all it takes to get into Ms Virtue’s pants? Two dates?” Scott laughed from the bathroom where he was washing his hands.

 

Tessa sighed loudly and then took off her shirt and bra, leaving her naked and sitting on her bed.

 

Scott walked out of the bathroom and stopped dead in his tracks. “Whoa. Change your mind?”

 

“No, I’m going for a shower.”

 

Scott’s mouth hung open as he watched her strut towards the bathroom. _She’s killing me on purpose. She really wants that second date asap._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left and VM have a lot of ground to cover…including that second date (wink wink) and the birth of their daughter! 
> 
> Want to see the adorable book Scott was reading to the baby? Check out this link:  
> http://www.mycozyclassics.com/pride-and-prejudice/ 
> 
> OR for pictures of the inside see this link: 
> 
> https://www.amazon.ca/Cozy-Classics-Prejudice-Jack-Wang/dp/1452152446/ref=asc_df_1452152446/?tag=googleshopc0c-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=292959354133&hvpos=1o4&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12975825468542524143&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001284&hvtargid=pla-496976060852&psc=1


	14. Forever's Gotta Start Somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This could be the first night of the rest of our lives  
> We started something right here  
> You called it crazy, but I think we'll make it  
> Forever’s gotta start somewhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CHAPTER RATING WARNING** this chapter includes Ruby’s birth. Proceed knowing I have made it realistic.

 

 

**July 4, 2019**

**Ilderton, Ontario**

 

They were trying to take things slow. Truly, they were. Although the placement of Scott’s hands on Tessa’s ass and his tongue making itself at home in the back of Tessa’s mouth as she straddled his lap and had her hands grasping and tugging at his hair in the middle of the afternoon would paint a different picture to anyone looking through the living room window.

 

"This makes me so happy," Scott groaned as he started kissing his way down Tessa's neck.

 

"Me too," Tessa gasped as Scott sucked on her pulse point. _That's going to leave a mark, good thing I no longer give a shit_. She let out a low moan, letting him know she liked what he was doing.

 

"Maybe I should have just implemented _this_ instead of hosting that party?" Scott's breath was hot in her ear as he scraped his teeth against the shell of it and then gently pulled on her lobe with his lips.

 

"No, you needed the party too," Tessa squeaked as she shoved Scott back against the sofa, she couldn't hold out any longer. "I have to pee."

 

Scott watched Tessa scurry off down the hallway towards the bathroom. He had a giant dopey grin on his face as he put his feet up on his coffee table and turned on the television. He was head over heels in love with the love of his life and she loved him back in the way he wanted her to. But, the best part was that he had date number two scheduled for tomorrow morning and the countdown was on in his head. Just a few more hours and the last item on his to-do list before the baby arrives would be completed.

 

Scott had brought Tessa over to his place to watch a movie and to cook her dinner, citing she needed a change of scenery, but Scott felt there wouldn't be much _watching_ going on. He saw that the Jays game would be on later and he had a feeling they would end up missing it too so he set it to record, they could always watch that later.

 

"How are my girls?" Scott grinned as he watched Tessa waddle back towards him. He knew she was uncomfortable and ready to have the baby.

 

"Bladder is empty, we're good for another fifteen minutes," Tessa smirked; greatly exaggerating the amount of time her bladder would last.

 

"Well? Are you going to sit?" Scott asked as he patted the sofa cushion beside him, eager to get back to their make-out session.

 

Tessa shook her head no and bit down on her bottom lip.

 

"What then? You gonna tell me or do I have to tickle it out of you?"

 

"Could we snuggle on the porch swing? I didn't get a chance to try it out at your party," she added a little pout of her bottom lip to get her point across.

 

"Instead of a movie?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.

 

"We wouldn't end up watching it anyways?" she offered with a sigh. Scott being close to her was just far too distracting and she knew they would end up kissing.

 

"As you wish," Scott grinned as he turned off the television and lunged towards Tessa as she shrieked and tried to escape his grasp. She was too slow and he wrapped his arms tightly around her from behind.

 

"No fair, I'm too big to run fast and I don't have skates on right now. I'm too slow on land.”

 

Scott rubbed one hand over her belly and gently put the other over one breast while he nipped at her earlobe with his lips. "I'm sorry I made you slow," he husked into her ear. "It's almost over, could be any day now, really. Once she's born we can get back on the ice too."

 

"Mmm," Tessa hummed in agreeance as she leaned back against Scott. His touch was so comforting and relaxing.

 

"No falling asleep yet, T."

 

"Stop being so comfy then," she grumped as she leaned further into him. She had missed her afternoon nap and was tired. She wasn’t sleeping much at night either thanks to her big belly. Turning over was nearly a logistical nightmare and Scott wasn’t there to help her and she really wished he was. She had hoped they could discuss living arrangements later because having him there with her all the time as she crept closer to her due date would help settle her nerves and also after Ruby was born it would be handy to have him help with nighttime duties and maybe she could catch a bit more sleep that way.

 

Scott pressed a kiss to her cheek and then encouraged her to stand on her own. "I can hear your wheels spinning, T. Come on, outside with you. Whatever you’re contemplating you can continue to thing about on the swing."

 

They settled on the porch swing, Tessa in one corner with her legs up and lying across Scott's lap, as he sat in the middle.

 

"It's so peaceful out here," Tessa mused as Scott gently rocked them back and forth.

 

"Yeah, unless the neighbour is running his tractor," Scott chuckled. "I had a nap out here the other day. I'm pretty sure this is the adult version of that baby swing you had me build."

 

Tessa yawned. "Why do you think I wanted to come out here?"

 

"To get me to massage your feet?" Scott smirked and Tessa jabbed her big toe into his chest.

 

"If you're offering, I won't refuse."

 

They sat in companionable silence, listening to the birds chirp in the warm summer afternoon while Scott massaged Tessa's feet and calves. Scott eventually felt his eyes getting heavy from the gentle motion. He had stayed up late last night. _Really late_. He was reviewing videos for some teams at the Cricket Club and slogging through some reading material he had for his certification.

 

Tessa noticed Scott's eyes had closed and his head had dropped against his chest, so she began to pull her feet off of his lap. He startled awake and instinctively wrapped his hands around her ankles, thinking she was falling.

 

"Hey, I'm fine," Tessa reassured him in a soft voice as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

 

Scott looked sleepily over at Tessa and offered her a sheepish grin. “Sorry, guess I nodded off there.”

 

"I’m tired too," she admitted. "Lay down for a bit?"

 

Scott let out a yawn and nodded. He stretched out on his side against the backrest and Tessa snuggled up beside him, pressing her back against his chest. He put one hand protectively over her belly and she placed her own hand over his.

 

"T?" Scott whispered as he propped his head up on his elbow.

 

"Mmm-hmm," she hummed as she turned her head to look at him.

 

He knew his kind actions spoke volumes lately, but he still felt he needed to remind her enough with his words...but not _too much_ that she felt smothered.

 

"I love you," he whispered and then dipped his head so his lips hovered over hers. "So much.”

 

She closed the gap between them, giving him a soft kiss, but pushed him away before things could get too intense.

 

“I love you too. Let’s sleep before your neighbour shows up with the tractor though.”

 

“Mmm-kay,” Scott mumbled sleepily as he settled back behind Tessa.

 

*

 

Scott felt Tessa stirring against him, wiggling enough that the swing was bouncing slightly. “Just go. I’ll save your spot,” he whispered in her ear.

 

She grumbled something and hefted herself off the swing and hurried into the house.

 

Scott felt bad her bladder seemed to be running the show lately. Poor Tessa had to endure so much and she hadn’t even been through labour yet. He hoped it would be quick for her. He hated seeing her suffer.

 

“I’m back,” she announced as she snuggled back up against Scott. “Did you have a good sleep?”

 

“I did. I feel better. You?”

 

Tessa sighed. “Never enough sleep. So, I was wondering, after our second date tomorrow morning, if things…progress the way we’re both thinking…if maybe you wanted to start sleeping at my place at night? I mean, I’m ready, and…only if you want to though because I don’t want you to feel—”

 

“Yes,” he smiled as he covered her lips with his to stop the rambling. “I could plan to stay over at your place tomorrow night? See how that goes?”

 

“Yes!” she said eagerly. “But only if you want to,” she backtracked quickly, not wanting to appear _too_ desperate.

 

“I do. We don’t have to commit to anything right now, take it one step at a time?”

 

“I’d like that,” Tessa nodded and then became quiet as she thought for a moment. “Sex could help start labour too. I wouldn’t mind if she arrived two weeks early or something.”

 

Scott grinned. “Well, I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”

 

 

**July 5, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

"Te- _ess_ ," Scott sung out gently next to Tessa's ear.

 

"Mgmph," she swatted her hand towards the sound of his voice and pulled the blanket up over her head.

 

"I thought you said 9am was okay and you'd be ready?" He pulled the blanket down and rubbed his nose against hers.

 

“I lied,” she grumbled. “I’m tired. I barely slept at all last night.”

 

“After breakfast we can take a nap?” he offered and then pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on, up and at ‘em.” Scott tugged the blanket off of Tessa and gently pulled her legs over the edge of the bed. “I’ll help you up, give me your hands.”

 

*

 

Scott watched as Tessa literally inhaled her breakfast as though someone was going to come up and snatch the plate away from her. He had never seen her eat _that_ fast. “What’s the hurry, Virtch? Got somewhere to be?” he chuckled.

 

“Yeah, bed,” she smirked as she shoveled more egg into her mouth.

 

“Tired?” he asked playfully, feigning ignorance.

 

“Not one bit,” she looked up at Scott and winked. “Please eat faster, Scott. This anticipation has got me riled up and—” she paused as she gulped down the last of her coffee. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

 

“Anticipation of what, Birdie?”

 

Tessa groaned as she pressed the toe of her flip-flop into Scott’s leg. “Eat!” she hissed.

 

Scott smirked and started shoving food into his mouth. _Best second date ever!_

 

 

**July 31, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Scott had been staying over at Tessa's every night. Sex had not worked to induce labour, neither had the raspberry leaf tea or spicy food or pineapples. Tessa was irritable and anxious as today was the official due date and she still had no signs of being in labour.

 

"Maybe you just need to relax more, T? What about a prenatal massage?" he asked over breakfast that morning.

 

"I've had a few of those, but not recently,” she sighed as she rubbed her hand over her belly.

 

"How about after we’re done here, I call around and see if I can get you in somewhere?"

 

“That would be nice, thank you,” Tessa sniffed as she tried to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes. _Sweet Scott. I love you so much like this. This really is the best version of you,_ she thought to herself as she smiled at him.

 

 

**August 2, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

"How do you feel now?" Scott asked as he stood up from the waiting room where he had been sitting during her massage.

 

"Amazingly relaxed," Tessa groaned. Her body felt like a bowl of jelly.

 

"Good," he husked as he leaned in close, "how ‘bout I take you back to your place and I relax you even further?"

 

"Yes," she managed to squeak out. The thought of Scott doing _anything_ to her body right now was already driving her wild.

 

*

 

"What are you doing?" Tessa asked as she laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

 

"Does it hurt?"

 

"No, but what—” Tess lifted her head off the pillow to watch Scott pressing around on her breast.

 

"I read online that expressing colostrum could help start labour."

 

Tessa let her head fall back against the pillows. "Anything. I'll do anything at this point...actually...I think Andrea did mention that, now that I think about it. What are you doing with it? I think I was supposed to collect it?"

 

"Drinking it?" he joked.

 

_"Scott!"_

 

"I'm kidding, T! It's just small droplets, not a lot. Do you want me to collect it in something?" Scott looked around her bedroom but saw nothing suitable within arms reach. "What do you want it for?"

 

"No, it's okay. I'll call Andrea in the morning to ask. She said if the baby needs extra at birth we could freeze it. Damn I forgot all about that," Tessa sighed.

 

"Well since we're not doing anything with it—” Scott leaned over and licked her nipple clean with one broad stroke of his tongue.

 

"Again," she moaned softly. “Do _that_ again.”

 

He obliged, this time as he finished licking, he enveloped as much of her breast as he could get in his mouth and sucked hard.

 

Tessa groaned loudly as she arched her back.

 

He released her breast with a loud pop. "Okay?" he whispered.

 

"Yeah. More,” she husked out breathlessly.

 

 

**August 3, 2019**

**London, Ontario**

 

Tessa woke up to a dull ache in her lower back and the baby elbowing her bladder. She got up to head to the bathroom but sunk back down on the bed in pain.

 

“Scott?" she called out quietly, her voice shaky, but there was no response.

 

“Scott!" she yelled loudly.

 

Scott sat up beside her in the bed. "T?" He looked around the dark bedroom, not sure where she was at first, but relaxed slightly when he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, next to him. "Everything okay?” He looked quickly at the clock, 2:06am.

 

"No!" she barked. "I need to pee but I think I'm in labour.”

 

"Labour?" Scott gasped as he jumped out of bed and ran around to the other side where Tessa was sitting.

 

"Yes, maybe all your breast massaging finally got things moving. First just let this contraction pass and then I’ll need your help up.”

 

Scott helped Tessa to and from the bathroom and then got her into her robe. "Now what?" he asked nervously, waiting for further instruction.

 

"We should call everyone on the labour list and you need to time the contractions." Tessa paused as she leaned her hand on Scott's shoulder to ride out another contraction.

 

"Are they bad?" he asked as he watched her face contort in pain and was immediately taken back to Tessa trying to stand up after her second surgery.

 

"Stronger than the Braxton Hicks, but still manag—” she stopped talking and did several deep breaths in and out as another strong contraction rippled through her body.

 

Scott held onto Tessa’s arms tightly, worried she might collapse. He could tell she was in intense pain and he had to make those calls quick because this seemed to be going faster than he had mapped out in his head.

 

Andrea the midwife, Kim the doula, and Kate all arrived within the next half hour. Tessa’s contractions had increased and it seemed labour wouldn’t take long, much to Tessa’s, _and Scott’s_ , relief.

 

“Tess,” Scott rubbed his hand on Tessa’s lower back trying to help with her pain. He wanted to wrap his arms around her but she wasn’t having any of it.

 

"I don't need your help right now, Scott please—” Tessa gritted her teeth as another contraction roared through her body.

 

"Ok, T. I'm here if you change your mind," he sighed as he paced back into the kitchen to give Tessa some space. He hated seeing her in pain, and having to suffer through this.

 

Kate put her hand on Scott's shoulder. "Just you being here, in this house, is supportive. We know she can push through pain to achieve the outcome she wants. She's done it before. If she needs us, I know she'll ask."

 

"It's hard to watch, Kate. I want to help her, I want to do _something_ other than just stand here," Scott sighed as he raked his fingers through his hair.

 

"I know you do. She's stubborn and has a vision of how she wants this to go. Also, It's called labour for a reason, dear. It's hard for us to watch her be in pain and—”

 

"Mooom," Tessa moaned from the living room.

 

"See? She'll let us know when she's ready for help," Kate grinned at Scott as she put her coffee mug down on the island and walked towards the living room.

 

Kate found Tessa leaning her hands against the wall and slowly rocking her body from side to side.

 

"Sweetheart?" Kate said gently as she put her hand on Tessa's shoulder.

 

"I want to change. I need the stuff we set aside for the birth. I’m going to get into the water right away,” Tessa winced.

 

"Okay, I'll go grab that. Anything else?"

 

"Scott."

 

"What about him? He's still here.”

 

“I need him.”

 

*

 

"Alright Tess we've got the birthing pool set up and ready to go whenever you are. Someone will need to help you in, so please ask,” Kim did a onceover of the area set up in the family room as she stood next to the pool.

 

“Now,” she moaned. “I want to get in now.”

 

Scott and Kim helped Tessa step into the pool and she immediately had some relief from the water.

 

"Scott," Tessa moaned. "Hold me."

 

"Okay, T," Scott crouched behind Tessa and put his hands on her shoulders and gave them a squeeze. "I'm here."

 

"I _need_ you," she whined.

 

"You can get in the water with her if you want," Kim suggested.

 

"Can I leave my shorts on?" he asked.

 

She nodded and smiled. "We prefer if guys leave their shorts on."

 

Scott chuckled nervously and then climbed into the birth pool and wedged himself behind Tessa. He wrapped one arm around her, in between her breasts and her bump as he rubbed his nose into the crook of her neck. "I'm right here, T. I'm here."

 

"It hurts so bad," Tessa moaned as she let her head drop back against Scott's shoulder. The skin to skin contact helped calm her but it was not enough relief.

 

"I know, but it’s almost over. You heard Andrea, everything is moving along quickly. Our little Ruby will be here soon.” Scott pressed a kiss to Tessa’s temple as he rubbed his hands over her contracting belly.

 

*

 

"Okay, another deep breath in and push on the exhale. Almost there, Tess," Andrea encouraged.

 

“I know you can do this, honey,” Kate said gently.

 

“You have the ability to see through the pain,” Kim offered.

 

Tessa closed her eyes for a moment and thought to herself, _I’m convinced there are few more beautiful and impactful things than empowerment and encouragement from other women_ _._ She could feel the next contraction starting up and squeezed Scott’s hand tightly. _You can fucking do this Tess,_ she told herself.

 

"You're doing so good. This is all you. Every last bit, T. You got this," Scott encouraged as Tessa pushed and screamed, temporarily deafening Scott in one ear.

 

"The baby is crowning, push again,” Andrea instructed.

 

Scott felt Tessa’s fingernails dig deeper into the backs of his legs but he knew he dare not say anything; the pain she was experiencing was far worse.

 

Tessa continued to talk herself through, tuning out the other voices in the room. Two more pushes and their baby girl was safely in their arms and she was sobbing. It took a moment for her to realize her sobs were not echoing, it was Scott crying loudly in her ear in perfect unison with her own. He was overcome with emotion of seeing their daughter for the first time.

 

“You did it T!” he gasped between cries. “Oh my God look at Ruby…she’s here…Tess...I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much!”

 

Tessa tore her eyes away from their little Ruby to look up at Scott. His tear-stained happy face mirrored hers. “I love you,” she said softly, her voice hoarse from all the screaming.

 

“I love you too, T,” Scott grinned and then kissed Tessa on the lips, perhaps a little longer than he thought she would want with others watching, but he didn’t care in that moment. _I’m so God damned fucking happy._

 

Andrea and Kim glanced at each other as they watched Tessa and Scott kiss. On the lips. After declaring their love out loud for one another. They knew they would need to discuss this afterwards with each other because there was no one else they could disclose _that_ information to.

 

*

 

Later that night, the new family of three was on their own. Tessa had taken Ruby upstairs to her bedroom to nurse her and Scott was making Tessa a special breastfeeding tea.

 

As he climbed the stairs he could hear the shrill screams of their daughter and Tessa’s voice trying to reason with her. Scott leaned against the doorframe, watching mother and daughter attempt to figure out the problem. He remembered Kate’s words from earlier in the day; Tessa would ask for help when she was ready.

 

A flustered Tessa looked up at Scott, and her eyes pleaded with him as her ears hurt already from the crying and she really didn’t know what to do. Ruby had been fed and changed and Tessa didn’t know what she wanted.

 

Scott crossed the room and placed Tessa’s tea down on the table next to the rocking chair. He crouched down beside the chair and put his hand on Ruby’s cheek.

 

“You are as precious as rubies because you are one. Yes, you’re our little Ruby,” Scott said softly as he looked towards her bookshelf, eyes grazing the titles and quickly grabbing one he was saving to read to Ruby after she was born. Ruby’s screams turned to soft cries as Scott started talking. He gazed up at Tessa hopefully and she nodded as he held up the book. Scott settled himself on the floor next to the chair and began reading over Ruby’s crying.

 

**No Matter What by Debi Gliori**

 

Small was feeling grim and grumpy.

 

“Good grief,” said Large. “What _is_ the matter?”

 

“I’m grim and grumpy,” said little Small, “and I don’t think you love me at all.”

 

“Oh, Small,” said Large, “grumpy or not, I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

 

“If I were a grumpy grizzly bear, would you still love me? Would you still care?”

 

“Of course,” said Large. “Bear or not, I’d always love you, no matter what.”

 

“But if I turned into a squishy bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?”

 

“Of course,” said Large. “Bug or not, I’d always love you, no matter what.”

 

“No matter what?” said Small with a smile. “What if I were a crocodile?”

 

“I’d still hold you close and snug and tight, and tuck you up in bed each night.”

 

“But does love wear out? Does it break or bend? Can you fix it or patch it? Does it mend?”

 

“With time together, a smile and a kiss—love can be mended with things like this.”

 

“But what about when you’re far away? Does your love go too, or does it stay?”

 

“Look up at the stars. They’re far, far away. But their light reaches us at the end of each day.”

 

“It’s like that with love—we may be close, we may be far, but our love still surrounds us…wherever we are.”

 

About half way through the book Ruby had stopped crying and was blinking as she stared up at the ceiling as Tessa softly sobbed at the words in the story. Her hormones were raging right now and she took each word Scott read to heart. They were able to mend their love, and she knew Scott would have to travel without them but if they looked up at the stars at night, his love for them would still be close. She brushed the tears away from her eyes as she watched Scott stand up and put the book back on the shelf. He bent over Ruby and smiled at her, then pressed a gentle kiss to her tiny cheek and then one to Tessa’s lips.

 

“This is the first night of the rest of our lives, T, and I love both of you, no matter what.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Book Scott read is real and so adorably fitting! Story was copied as printed.  
> Gliori, D. (1999). No Matter What. Great Britain: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
> 
> Chapter title and summary are from Forever's Gotta Start Somewhere by Chad Brownlee.
> 
> Thanks for reading along. This fic was fun to write. There will be some one-shots or perhaps a sequel at some point...because I have ideas and I can't keep them trapped in my head lol. In the meantime, enjoy this new fic I’ve started that also features Tessa with a baby and mending her relationship with Scott: One and Only https://archiveofourown.org/works/18167189/chapters/42964505


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